- GO TO HELL, BIG CITY HUMOR-CRATS! Jesus, can’t wait to see what this guy whines about the next time we direct national traffic to one of his articles from our snobby bisexual computers in Metropolis: “Much of what Wonkette posts is sweating with anti-rural sentiment, attacking, for example, our newspaper for not being a major urban daily (thank God, because unlike the Seattle Post Intelligencer or Chicago Sun-Times, which Wonkette would no doubt respect, we can still turn a profit).” It’s true, we only make fun of rural communities, never major east coast cities like, say, “Washington D.C.” But we’d like to thank this dingbat for introducing us to the hilarious term “urban snark.” We still have no idea what that stupid fake word “snark” means, but at least we know that it comes in an “urban” flavor. [Daily Times Herald]
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Authors
Jim Newell (5418)
Wonkette Jr. (623)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (796)
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Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 137 comments }
…unlike the Seattle Post Intelligencer or Chicago Sun-Times, which Wonkette would no doubt respect…
That may well be the funniest thing I’ve read all year.
“Much of what Wonkette posts is sweating with anti-rural sentiment, attacking, for example, our newspaper for not being a major urban daily (thank God, because unlike the Seattle Post Intelligencer or Chicago Sun-Times, which Wonkette would no doubt respect, we can still turn a profit).”
Actually, I recall being “impressed” with them being crap vendors. Though their catty remaks in their article make me think the obvious chip on this fellow’s shoulder is pretty amusing as well.
High profile? Wow, these rural folk don’t know what the national web blogs are. How cute.
“Most of the urban snark comes from people on blogs who don’t use their real names, something we hicks take seriously.”
Well fuck.you.pal. Dashboard Buddha is my real name. My fiends call me Dash. You can call me Mr. Buddha.
[re=380440]NoWireHangers[/re]: I am wondering which one (or both) did not hire Gomer there.
“Urban” snark? What, so we’re somewhere between an Aaliyah album and a Toni Braxton one? Unchain my snark!
“What’s more, we absorb readers’ comments in letters to the editor or phone calls, generally giving them the last word. ”
Absorb? Amusingly, if you click on “letters to the editor” link, you get a blank page.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go pay my respects to the Chicago Sun-Times.
I knew I was sweating from something, but I had no idea it was anti-rural sentiment.
Geez Mr. Daily Times Herald, why so sensitive? What a pussy.
Warblog!
This guy should be thrilled that now we BIG city folk have even heard of that place he is from- Iowa. Is that in Kenya?
Oh, oh, I read about this in the journal Rural Sociology while sitting in one of those big-city coffee houses (just like you see on the TV!). As it turns out, urban commenters snark like this “Look at me! I’m a feed-corn farmer and I’m a great big dumbass!”, while down-country commenters snark like this “I am from the city, and I enjoy sodomy!”.
Men perspire, women glow, Wonkettes sweat anti-rural sentiment.
“sweating with anti-rural sentiment”
i was wondering what that smell was. and i haven’t been able to get the stains out.
My “post sweating” is glandular.
Hmmm, what the crap can I write about in my column this week? Health care town hall? No, we’re too small to get one of those. Uhhhh, Hawkeyes/Cyclones football fever? Too early, and the sports guy would kill me. ::Google search, “Carroll County, Iowa”:: WTF? This “DC gossip” bboard just linked to us? Paydirt!
“broasted” chicken? hot dang, we ain’t got that in the city, i’m-a goin’ to ioway!
The Daily Times Herald? Do they fuck cows for a living? Rural Scum!
[re=380440]NoWireHangers[/re]: +1
I live in a place that makes Carroll County, Iowa, look like one a them there snooty metropolertan cities like … aw, this is too easy. He’s a dumbass hick, but we thank him for reading the Wonkette, even if he moves his lips.
And my real name is Elwyn Tinkleberg.
I, being from a small-town newspaper background, felt obliged to write a reply to Mr. Burn’s editorial. Not negative at all, but with a suggestion and a thanks. I then decided to sent it to him directly and not bother Wonkette with my thoughts. Then my note became more unwieldy and I had to place it in a word processor and may make it a short story and won’t send it to him at all.
But we don’t single any out for snark here. We single everyone out for it.
“make fun of rural communities?” The prettiest teenage girls I’ve ever seen waiting by the side of the road to get picked up by strangers in cars in scenarios where I suspect everyone involved may have blowjobs on their mind are the teenage girls I see waiting by the side of the road when I drive through rural communities around sunset.
anti-rural sentiment? in my sweatglands? more likely than I think…
No, no, I sweat homosexual agenda. Anti-rural sentiment is what leaks from my vagina all day.
Huh…I just re-skimmed the comments on the original story, and apart from a couple of comments like zhubajie calling Iowa “the New Zealand of hogs,” I didn’t see much anti-rural sweating. The vast majority of the comments were making fun of DEFENSELESS OLD LADIES, you ageist sexist internets-raping hatemongers.
Was also puzzled by Burns’ claim that “Wonkette uses the term ‘Carroll County, Iowa,’ like a punchline, as if all things rural are the stuff of humor.” I mean, that’s just where the periodical is published, innit? Is simply pointing that out a slur of some kind, akin to saying “I don’t like that Barack HUSSEIN Obama”?
Also.
I’m going to follow Rush’s lead and call everyone who pisses me off a “nazi”. Having dinner with my parents tomorrow night–could get ugly…
In before David Denby reference.
Watch out Jim! Dougie’s got Journalist of the Corn written all over him.
I’ve reported this “Mr. Burns” to flag@whitehouse.gov, too. I think he may be a nagger.
…….Carroll County, Iowa….(laughter)….
so what’s the deal with airplaine food?? (Laughter)…
Poor, poor Mr. Douglas Burns. Teaching 9th grade English to bumpkins and writing for the lowly Times Herald hath rendered him bitter and humorless indeed.
You know that this penny-saver paper’s editor has framed a print-out of the relevant Wonkette posts… it’s as close as he’ll ever come to being noticed by people who don’t persistently remember him as ‘the fat paperboy’ from years ago…
and BTW – hey Dougie! Carroll County is a punchline, even to my friend from Adams county…
Yes because having online ads that go
Car Dealership
Realtor
Car Dealership
Community College
Car Dealership
Adopt A Puppy
Is a great business plan
I liked: “Unlike the increasingly narrow niche audiences on the Web, where people with staunch political points of view go for ideological breastfeeding.” Sounds like someones feeling got hurt.
Daily Times Herald? What, they couldn’t figure out how to shoehorn Post or Gazette into their name? And I don’t snark, dammit, I just whine. Fucking hicks. (I mean that last bit affectionately, Mr. Writer Guy from the Post Daily Times Herald Gazette Standard)
[re=380479]OnTheLoose[/re]: The community manure store turns a profit in some areas of the country. But the product is still manure.
“sweating with anti-rural sentiment”? I thought we were seething.
Anyway, are we really any different from Mrs. TV Lady in that we try to come up with cleaver snark to draw attention to our selves?
“Ideological breastfeeding” is, admittedly, a catchy turn of phrase.
Though Mr. Burns is probably taking it just a wee bit personally.
He actually quoted one of us as “hilarious.” (toward the end of his editorial, about Wonkette).
He also attacks us for “ideological breastfeeding,” without realizing that us big city folk prefer straight non-ideological anal, but w/e hotshot, keep on plowing that field…
If he goes on record as never having owned a pair of TruckNutz, I’ll stop being cheeky.
8-man football? Really?
You know who else disparaged rural America? JOHN HUGHES–and look what happened to him!
According to big-city newspaper The Washington Post, it’s pretty clear what “urban” snark means – it means you guys are black. So it’s time to quit pretending, and quit posting those fake photos – the Daily Times Herald of Carroll, Iowa is onto your little game.
Jeebus…I’m from Iowa (the cool part, Des Moines…no, really…). And I’ve been to Carroll, and Dennison and Red Oak. And let me tell you something Red Oak kicks Carroll’s ass in all things. The people are nicer, the food is better, the corn is sweeter, and the lovely homsexuler fellers getting hitched at the courthouse are a fine bit purtier.
Of course, all it takes is a quick bit of rural low self-esteem defensiveness to remind me why I left the state in the first place.
He left out the best part of the comment!
“’Today was the last straw” said little Deloris “with the way he went on about the country being bombed by those slant-eyed bastards.’”
Stupid hick.
But on the bright side, the newspaper from Hooterville got you to link to them twice!
Regards,
Tengrain
[re=380467]LindsayBluth[/re]: Vagisil will clear that right up. Ask me how I know.
[re=380486]Nani[/re]: Common in some rural areas due to small size of high schools.
[re=380459]slappypaddy[/re]: If we all flashmobbed the town, could we plunder, pillage & pave it over within an hour? After we lure the current residents away with a trail of corn-syrup-sweetened lard-nuggets, then fumigate/redecorate the place, we could make it the Gay Marriage Capital of Iowa! I call for a ROAD TRIP!!!
[re=380498]McDuff[/re]: …but not a common in some rural areas as 8-man circle jerking – just ask Dougie…
Case in point: My home town, Socorro, NM. Population 8,400. One-and-a-half-hour drive from the nearest Target. Urban, indeed.
Sure, we’ve got hicks, rednecks, cowboys, rubes, japes, slack-jaws, mouth-breathers, Republicans, and we’re home to one of the most massive fake conspiracies in all of Federal history. But seriously!……
[re=380490]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: The sad part is I lived in Webster County, Iowa…and we used “Carroll County, Iowa,” as a punchline.
[re=380452]SmutBoffin[/re]: That’s down-country snark? But I am from the city and I do enjoy sodomy!
“Wonkette’s liberal minions are so focused on the quicksilver quip….”
That don’t sound like regular guy talk.
And doesn’t Layne live in Buzzard Socket, California? A community of failing rachettes amongst the tumbleweeds and meth labs?
I’m sorry, It’s Ames or nothing costal elites. Des Moines is only cool if you are looking to buy crack.
My first lover was from Carrol, and he was CrAzY. Thank god we couldnt get married then.
we can still turn a profit
Pretty hard not to when your staff consists of Ma and Pa and a few yokels who answer the phone, download all the content off the AP and copy the recipes off the back of Frito bags.
[re=380507]Bathroom Goblin[/re]: Wrongo, Aggie Breath. Iowa is ruled by the People’s Republic of Johnson County, and don’t you fergit it.
We have found David Denby’s Red Neck cousin.
I wish he had quoted my comment. I thought it was funny that the old bat wanted $100 for her old TV, considering that Salvation Army won’t accept them as donations any more. Our rural friend might consider that mean-spirited. But I say no less mean-spirited than ranting about a President because he’s, you know….
Wah, stop ignoring us Rural ‘Mercuns! Wah, now you’re talking about us and hurting our feelings! You gay-married, Whole Foods, librul elitist urban snarkers have no idea how hurtful it is to be portrayed only as one-dimensional caricatures!
[re=380511]gjdodger[/re]: The popular front for the liberation of Story County begs to differ.
[re=380445]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: “Most of the urban snark comes from people on blogs who don’t use their real names, something we hicks take seriously.”
Use my real name, you dickwad, is that what you’re suggesting? Bull shit! We need a good rain and the grass in the front 40 (acres–I’m not making that up) is way too dry for me to risk having my mouth breathing rural Heartland Dustbowl cretin neighbors burn any fucking crosses in front of my house. This whole place could go up in flames!
[re=380513]Uncle Al[/re]: a what – a demmycrat? At least Obama’s thought better of than his mother-in-law – she’s a real nagger…
Oh, neener neener neener, Mr. Douglas Burns of Carroll County, Iowa. We Wonketteers worship rural ‘Murcah. After all, where do you think we get our endless supplies of Trucknutz?
They call themselves rural? 12 people per square mile? Here we have 2. 2! Not counting the aliens out at the Test Site…
My daughter was accepted to U Glasgow Vet School and then, she got off the wait list at Iowa. Not wanting to make a hasty, uninformed decision, she demanded we visit Iowa, just to be sure. “NOOOOOOOO” I wailed to no avail.
Needless to say, it took no more than one look at the football stadium, which dwarfs the rest of the campus; the strategically posted tornado shelter signs’ the second-story walkways from building to building in the city for when the snow covers the cars; the endless flat cornfields; and the total lack of a single restaurant that wasn’t a national chain like Wendy’s, to convince her to beg me to switch to an earlier flight out.
After she sent a polite email thanking her hosts for the tour but declining the position offered her, she received an indignant retort from the extremely irate department chair, which said something like “I will have you know that we are only 4 hours from Chicago and 4 and a half from THE MALL OF AMERICA!!!
She chose Glasgow, along with Christmas in Italy, Spring Break camping on the Canary Islands, weekends to London, lasting friendships with members of an International student body, and after a successful first year and retaking the GRE’s, was permitted to transfer to UPenn.
No snark. Just the facts! MOOOOOOO.
Aah, wonkeratti. I’ve spent the past two days working bees and hosting the contestants in the rodeo queen pageant so I’ve had no time for you in my life. So good to be back with my kind of people–And you guys don’t expect me to say grace for you before you eat the dinner I prepared and served! Of all the days for this douche to pick on wonkette, this is not the day. I am so buried in heartland, wholesome shit. Well, horse shit at the rodeo.
Bees excepted. Two hives and they’re all good.
Looks like someone just finished Sarah Palin’s online faux-indignation seminar and wanted to try out his new chops. Congrats, Mr. Burns — that’s one more crack in the glass floor.
[re=380504]Uncle Al[/re]: I’m a liberal mininon!!! My parents will be so proud!!!!
[re=380472]SlipperyDick[/re]: “Dougie’s got Journalist of the Corn written all over him.”
8+ for the win. COTC is my favorite movie reference, and I’m never even seen the thing.
[re=380525]DustBowlBlues[/re]: You’ve had no colony-collapse? No mites, varroa or trachael?
They you are a REAL honey!
[re=380480]FlipOffResearch[/re]: “ideological breastfeeding.””
Oh, ick. I didn’t read the whole thing. That really grosses me out. Rural, earthy pig. Or does he think this is hard-core snark?
Keep the body function references to yourself, Cornball.
“Urban”.
I already knew Wonkette was a catty elitist lady, but now I know she’s a catty, elitist, sassy black momma.
Quaint and honest family farmers like you Iowans probably have bigger things to worry about. So, put your ADM cap on and stick your feedlot
cattle“production units” with their daily antibiotics and be sure to buy some bottled water when you’re at the grocery, where they have all humanly edible imported food in the state, because there’s a nitrate fertilizer tap water advisory. Also, enjoy Sarah Palin and her little Trig ‘tard hanging out in your state until the 2012 primary.“..it is rural Iowa… that launched the barrier-breaking presidency of Barack Obama…where gay couples can legally be married for but a $35 fee.”
For birthing legal gays and the only illegal president of these United States, we forgive you, rural Iowa, for all your sins. Amen.
“sweating with anti-rural sentiment”
That’s the most homo-erotic thing I’ve seen since the Kum-and-Go…which was a lovely chain of convenience stores in Iowa
Yes the Sun Times didn’t hire me, but I didn’t really want the job anyhow. Rents are too expensive in Chicago.
Oh, be nice to Dougy. If he didn’t feel persecuted, he wouldn’t feel anything at all.
If he had any intellectual honesty, he’d have sent a thank you note for filling his day with SOMETHING. Gosh knows, there is nothing of interest to report on in the world.
[re=380538]Douglas Burns[/re]: Hey Dougie – how did you lose your virginity? Horse, cow or pig?
I’m getting little tired of this small town/big city bullshit, so….
Hey screwhead, next time someone parks a Boing 757 in your rolling pastures, then feel free to come back and lecture us unpatriotic big-city folk. Where the hell do you think the firefighters, EMTs, cops and workers live?!? ‘Cause while traffic sucks in the greater DC area, folks sure as hell ain’t commuting from Des Monies!
[re=380538]Douglas Burns[/re]: Yes they didn’t. Yes they didn’t. Dead giveaway you’re the Real McCoy.
[re=380504]Uncle Al[/re]: Aha, that alliteration gave it away. I KNEW I saw this guy before, in the New Yorker’s “Talk of the Town” column.
[re=380544]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: “Dead giveaway you’re the Real McCoy.”
Two cliches in one six-word half-sentence. Brilliant.
[re=380465]shadowMark[/re]: Anyone who can write a coherent sentence of more than 50 words without a comma is my hero.
[re=380538]Douglas Burns[/re]: I have but one final question for Mr. Burns:
While reading your material I noticed a propensity to start a new paragraph after every single sentence – with the occasional exception. Is this for the sake of your readership, or is that le style nouveau of for-profit journalism?
I’m lookin’ at the snark in the mirror
I’m askin’ it to make my day
No message could have been any clearer
If you want to snark the world right in it’s face
just turn to wonkette and snark awaaay
I think he probably wrote this piece when he looked at the internet traffic spike he got the last time he graced the pages of the mighty Wonkette. Ideological breastfeeding was the cheese and we were the mice.
Touche, Senor Pig Farmer, well played.
[re=380548]Douglas Burns[/re]: Ahh, Mr. Burns, but school is out, is it not? Once a teacher always a teacher? Thursdays are grammar, Mondays are spelling, and Tuesdays are creative writing…silly me. At least you gave me a ‘brilliant’ — which is a helluva lot better than that bitch Ms. Conyers last year. Oh, she was just soooo uptight.
Think of it as free advertisement–you filthy high profile den of snark.
JIM NEWELL US PUMAS HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU AND YOU ARE THE PIG OF THE WEEK AGAIN AND ALL OF YOUR WONKETTE PEOPLE HAVE NO RESPECT FOR STUFF REDNECK FAT-FUCKS IN OKLAHOMA OR WHATEVER ARE THINKING/DOING/EATING RIGHT NOW. YOU URBAN ELITISTS WILL NOT STAND. TAKE BACK OUR STUFFSS!11!
[re=380503]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Exactly. That’s why it misses the mark.
I say we should welcome our new cornfed overlords.
“ideological breastfeeding”
I think I saw a picture of that once, on 4chan.
And, hey: Daily Times Herald Columnist DOUGLAS BURNS? I will use my real name on the internets when I get a paycheck and a byline. Right now, just think of me as a Secret Millionaire Philanthropist of Urban Snark. Take my generous, anonymous snark offerings and feed the intellectually poor.
[re=380540]Bearbloke[/re]: “Yes.”
See what you’ve done now, Burns? [re=380559]shortsshortsshorts[/re] is woken up and moving around.
“We will never apologize for being a rural community newspaper.” Is it that you refuse to apolocixe?
Where’s Iowa?
Luvs ur metrosexual tie, btw.
[re=380570]chascates[/re]: Great. Just great. I’ll get the raw steak, you get the incense and aborted fetuses. He’s going to be hungry this time.
[re=380467]LindsayBluth[/re]: “No, no, I sweat homosexual agenda. Anti-rural sentiment is what leaks from my vagina all day.”
Now, you’re not even trying to make friends.
Rural snark involves losing a banjo-pickin’ contest & being told to squeal like a pig.
Today, we are all Urban Snark.
I am in Iowa right now, “vacationing.” It really is a lovely place. No shit.
Iowans are pretty cool, but Carroll, about 70 miles west of my current location, may get Obama on the teevee from Omaha and Des Moines tee vee, which led to this fire sale of tee vees, also. Also, this town appears to be in the Iowa 5th C.D., where they have thin skins, no sense of humor, and a predilection for voting for one of the most vile members of Congress. Which explains their annoyance with you libruls. Also, their health care is just fine–and gets better as long as those non-socialist ag subsidies keep flowing.
Au revoir (that’s commie for “ta ta”) from Iowa, America’s biggest collective farm.
[re=380502]gjdodger[/re]: They’ve switched to Boone County, at least recently. That’s what I hear during my brief (and lovely) sojourn here in Webster Co.
I think I speak for all of us when I say,
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-URNS!
I’m such an urbanite I once went for 2 years without seeing a 4-land road.
um, lane, of course
[re=380548]Douglas Burns[/re]: Aww, don’t go ‘way, mad Doug. I thought “ideological breastfeeding” was the bee’s knees.
But I’m a caveman who lives in a rainforest at the end of long dirt road, so you could say I’m even more rural-small-town than yerself.
“Wonkette uses the term “Carroll County, Iowa,” like a punchline, as if all things rural are the stuff of humor.”
All things rural and knock knock jokes, Mr. Douglas Burns.
I love chicken fried steak.
[re=380524]Witsendnj[/re]: UPenn has a vet school? What do they work on, rats and pigeons?
[re=380585]Mike Steele[/re]: Friend, I refer you first to:
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2009/08/chicken-fried-steak-with-cream-recipe.html
And I salute, and welcome you.
[re=380537]Carl Spakler[/re]: Don’t forget the Pump-n-Munch.
The Sun-Times? Those fucking clowns put ME on the front page over Obama on the day after he won the Democratic nomination, just to spite Jay Mariotti. I shit you not.
I am an urban dweller from the top to Iowa’s bottom, MN, and I think it’s best for Doug to stand down. Really, you don’t want to draw any more rural scrutiny from elitist Wonketteers than there already is.
As someone who sees the stories generated by our elitist urban local/regional media that Wonkette doesn’t touch, I beg of you, Dougy Do-rite, to STFU. Can’t you see, Minneapolis, Iowa City and the other kids who made it out are tryin’ to be something? Please don’t be the “Levi’s Mom” of the Urban Upper-Midwest. It’s bad enough Bachmann is my district’s next-door Palin.
Today we are all Ricky Hollywood.
“Wonkette uses the term “Carroll County, Iowa,” like a punchline, as if all things rural are the stuff of humor.”
Well, I needed to know that this old lady wasn’t from Carroll County, Maryland.
I’m actually rather pissed off by the word “snark” because I’m a huge fan of Lewis Carroll’s “The Hunting of the Snark”, which used the word first (and may have inspired its current use, I’m not sure?) but used it in a specific and totally different sense. In Carroll’s poem the Snark is the unobtainable transcendent, another word for “MacGuffin”.
Jesus, is Ohiowa even a state? Time to tighten up the membership requirements, methinks.
Nothing funny to add, but I just wanted to gripe about a pet peeve: I really hate the way wingnuts overuse the word “attack.” It’s never “mock” or “tease” or “criticize” or “disagree with.” It’s always, immediately, “attack.”
[re=380581]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]: Wow — I’ve been that drunk, but not for two years at a time.
[re=380449]Crank Tango[/re]: This is why Limbaugh never takes the stairs.
C’mon Mr. Burns. We all know you didn’t write that column. You obviously delegated it to your sole literate aide, Smithers.
So that’s what Marx meant by rural idiocy.
[re=380468]DoktorZoom[/re]: Thank you! With a tip of the hat to zhu bajie
I had missed “the New Zealand of hogs,” which is hilarious although I don’t know exactly why.
So rather than appear to be a hick, Mr. Burns has decided to do a damn fine impression of a petulant asshole. Well done, you Hawkeye drama queen.
Geez, everybody knows the rurals are the silt of the earth.
“The original Nissen story …was picked up around the world. I even read a couple of versions of the Nissen story in Spanish.”
Because Spanish-language media is so very international. Nothing like that ever seen nor heard here in the U-S-of-A.
Hey, Wonkett – one of your comments is “legitimately hilarious”, according to some buttinsky in Iowa. You better cut that out -
“Unlike the increasingly narrow niche audiences on the Web, where people with staunch political points of view go for ideological breastfeeding.”
He has obviously heard the rumor about our firm perky breasts.
Jumping the Snark?
I’ve already heard about your little ole neck of the woods. I’d old enough to remember Porter Waggoner’s classic song “The Carroll County Accident.”
As for the lady who sold her tvs because it was all Obama all day long – that fancy cable system has more than one channel!
If snark has an urban flavor I’m sure it’s chocolate…
Boy howdy, that term “snark” really gets under Newell’s skin. Mr. Rural Pigfucker actually raised a hackle with that one.
“Snark” has nothing to do with Lewis Carrol, other than that its a portmanteau word such as Carrol described and created, like “chortle.” I am quite sure its a combination of “snide,” which it always is, and “sarcasm,” which it often is. Spy magazine invented it, in 1987. I assert this with absolutely no factual basis, basing my complete certainty of this solely upon my strongly held opinion. If necessary, I will shout my opinion loudly, to provide further proof.
I share Newell’s distaste for the “snark,” though. For one thing, like “cool,” it cannot be done by someone consciously aiming to do it. Snarky is an attribute one has or does not have.
I am reminded of the irony of Alanis Morrisette’s un-ironic list of ironies, when I look at the un-snarky flood of self-identified snark streaming through the intertubes. 13 year old girls can do sarcasm, wit is something else entirely. Snideness, that is easy, too. But arrogant wit, thats a little more difficult, disdainful, arrogant, wit, thats the real goal here.
Poor Boooo-urns, he has the pigfuckers’ typical resentment. It just shows that they really do know, deep inside, that they are inferior, thats why they have such thin skins; its like dogs, they know, deep inside, that they are dogs, and they are secretly ashamed of eating catshit. But at least the dogs don’t get in high dudgeon when called on being a dog, they sheepishly admit it, and slink off for some more catshit. Pigfuckers like this, they get a big stick up their ass and start with the “how dare you condescend to me,” but then they go and fuck another pig, as soon as you’re not looking.
[re=380697]Mumbletypeg[/re]: Imagine, he read those articles, IN SPANISH! So sophisticated!
Michael Sneed, also.
Urban = D.C. = Black.
WONKETTE U R BLAK?!
Why is this man standing up for his town? So he can be read on Blackette? Is this Superman’s hometown, or something? SOMEONE XXXPLAIN WHAT’S GOING ON.
[re=380465]shadowMark[/re]: Can I find those rural routes on MapQuest?
Momma says “Snark is as snark does.”
‘Cause, you know, Snark happens.
You betcha!
[re=380824]Slobodan Milobsterchopz[/re]: ‘XXXPALIN”???!!?!!!!!111!! Stop mouth-raping Todd, damn you!
Snark, when used effectively, is the most sublime expression of patriotic love imaginable. Just writing, “HENGH!” makes my heart soar like an Eagle. If you don’t get it, Doug, nobody can help you, brother.
I went to that article from a later thread and thought, “DTH? Is that like ‘DFH’? What’s the ‘T’ stand for? ‘Thoughtful’? ‘Trashed’?” But then I realized it was just one of those wacko newspaper names.
[re=380540]Bearbloke[/re]: cousin.
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