- U.S. WORKER PRODUCTIVITY HITS SIX-YEAR HIGH: Probably because everyone’s scared to death of losing their jobs, American productivity is at the highest rate since 2003. [Marketwatch]
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Authors
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5429)
Wonkette Jr. (626)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Kaia Mursi (44)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6695)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 27 comments }
Plucky workers.
That, and the fact that most places still have to, you know, do things, except now they only have 2 employees instead of 10. Mabel just became so magically productive!
Oh, so I guess they don’t really need to hire anybody. Sorry, folks — please look at your continued unemployment as an opportunity to branch out in an enterpreneurial direction. I hear selling apples is hot right now.
I just filed for unemployment, myself. I don’t have any pluck, but I do have gumption, so everything should work out okay, right?
Thanks everyone for covering for me. Thanks to the idiot decisions of my now former CEO, my productivity dropped to less than zero.
2003: Year before our Wonkette reveals the identity of the Washingtonienne. Productivity high.
2004: Cutler + anal = year the whole world begins reading our Wonkette. Productivity plummets.
2005 – 2007: The world is boring. Wonkette readership plummets. Productivity ticks slightly upward.
2008: Election year. Everyone reads Wonkette again. Productivity plummets.
2009: World is really boring again. Everyone quits reading Wonkette and starts working again. Productivity skyrockets.
Something like that, right?
[re=382859]Davidwatts[/re]: but who gets the monies from productivity gains?
The health insurance companies, that who. So it is teh suck.
So exactly what incentive will employers have to hire workers in the near future? Especially now that all the apple polishers & butt kissers are busting their asses & making the rest of us look bad?
[re=382866]SmutBoffin[/re]: That’s Funemployment, and good luck, really. I know what it’s like.
They failed to canvas Wonkette commenters, obvs.
Once again I prove to be the fish swimming upstream.
My immune system has been degraded by the stress occasioned by management’s incompetence. Thus I am sickly and unproductive. Sometimes I punch my boss’s boss. This is odd but true.
Who’s taking up the slack at Wonkette as Ken is on his California walkabout?
Well, Matt Yglesias sees the dark cloud:
…
Rising productivity is basically good, but it means that either the economy is going to grow very rapidly because we’re now so productive, or else that modest growth is going to be accompanied by massive unemployment. And I don’t really know anyone who’s expecting very rapid growth in the near term.
So don’t throw away the hobo beans yet.
My employment was sacrificed on the altar of the previous administration, so the new dark overlord can’t take credit for that. Problem is, I enjoyed not getting up at 4:30 in the damned morning so much, I converted my predicament into an early retirement. Productivity ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
High productivity growth means the economy can grow rapidly without inflation, raising living standards and theoretically allowing workers to get big raises without hurting the boss’s profits.
Considering how many decades have gone by with productivity rising and real wages falling, I think we can put this theory to bed, Mr. Nutting, if that is your real name (I hope not).
All those new jobs in Obama’s death mills shoving old people into ovens have finally turned the tide on unemployment!
Wages have been rising quite well. The distribution of wages has just been getting a teensy bit skewed.
@Yglesias, productivity isn’t booming now because in Q2 we suddenly invented ultra-awesome dolphin-mounted machines that will do everything for us, preventing humans from working on anything again ever. It’s because companies are making what workers they have left work harder, as mentioned earlier. So when demand picks up a bit, there won’t be as much slack left for current employees to take up, and employers will have to start hiring. This is a good sign.
(/serious)
As for me, I’ve increased my output of (more or less useless) memoranda to 30 per week. They are to be exported to China (which has a memorandum shortage), in exchange for two tons of plastic training potties. See, marginal advantage at work!!!
Hooray for the American consumers who are keeping the few remaining employed people running their asses off.
Usually, rising productivity is a good sign, as it usually mean that you are ready to hire or re-hire employees at some point to keep up with demand.
We can all hope.
Does the Government & Propaganda Media lie to you?
Now that all the worst employees are out shouting at the town halls the real workers can get something done.
[re=382865]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Definitely. Apple’s got 91% market share in over-$1K computers now.
(Ps: sorry I missed you on election day in Seattle, hope you’re doing better than a year ago.)
I can confirm this good news: I got my Big Mac and a whole gallon of iced tea at Mickey D’s in less then 2 minutes. They’re making Taylorism look like ol’ skool slack, y’all.
My productivity has been forced up so much I no longer have time to read Wonkette and eating M&M’s all day. Fucking layoffs are cutting into my screwing off time.
I don’t get the deal with companies refusing to hire more employees now that the economic death spiral has slowed. Who do they think is going to buy what they sell if nobody has income? D’oh!
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