How creepy is the 2004 CIA torture report released today? Who knows! Ask someone with an attention span or read it yourself, you fancypants high school diplomas. For the rest of us, there are brief blockquotes on liberal blogs to read, so click the clicky, “for real.”
Now we all know that a bunch of sociopathic psychologists and interrogators from the SERE school — where they teach SEALs how to survive torture (PRODUCE FALSE CONFESSIONS) should they ever be captured by the Americans — helped the CIA set up John Yoo’s 10-Step Program based on their own training methods. But the CIA didn’t do things exactly like SERE did in training: when the CIA waterboarded terrorists, it was legit bro, and more aesthetically pleasing:
OIG’s [Office of the Inspector General's] review of the videotapes revealed that the waterboard technique employed at [REDACTED] was different from the technique as described in the DoJ opinion and used in the SERE training. The difference was in the manner in which the detainee’s breathing was obstructed. At the SERE School and in the DoJ opinion, the subject’s airflow is disrupted by the firm application of a damp cloth over the air passages; the interrogator applies a small amount of water to the cloth in a controlled manner. By contest, the Agency interrogator [REDACTED] continuously applied large volumes of water to a cloth that covered the detainee’s mouth and nose. One of the psychologists/interrogators acknowledged that the Agency’s use of the technique differed from that used in SERE training and explained that the Agency’s technique is different because it is “for real” and is more poignant and convincing.
Consider watching Bambi‘s mother getting shot, except this cartoon is non-fiction, and about waterboarding. Was there a dry eye in the room when KSM’s fawn escaped through the air conditioning vent?
This Isn’t SERE’s Waterboarding, This Is CIA Waterboarding [Washington Independent]
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I think they meant this definition:
b. Physically painful: “Keen, poignant agonies seemed to shoot from his neck downward” (Ambrose Bierce).
That shit is pretty savage, yo.
Osama Bambi Laden’s Mother: Bambi. Quick! The mountains!
[they run; water being poured into a jug and harsh laughter is heard]
Osama Bambi Laden’s Mother: Faster! Faster, Bambi! Don’t look back! Allah Akbar! Allah Akbar!
i actually think they meant “pointed” and chose the wrong spell-check suggestion — not unlike how a colleague once wanted her auto-away message to say “sorry for the inconvenience” and in a hurry on her way out the door for a two-week vay-cay she clicked “sorry for the incontinence”, leaving customers perplexed. but, i digress. mean people suck.
Not poignant. Lyrical maybe. or perhaps ethereal.
SEREs, where America shops muslins…
I also find it cathartic how they would beat prisoners on the sides of the knees so they could neither sit nor stand. Not to mention the pathos of walling, where they wrap a towel around your head and use it to whip you back and forth against a concrete or plywood wall. And could anything describe the use of constant blaring light and sound and relocation every 30 minutes to induce a state of psychosis from sleep deprivation after a week but the word “transcendent?” I think not.
i don’t get the bambi comparison.
I never noticed that Bambi’s eyes were so huge.
And at this point, is anyone really surprised by this? I’m more surprised that it wasn’t battery acid instead of water.
how about ‘exquisite’ as in ‘exquisite pain’ and not ‘darling, that blood diamond brooch is exquisite.’
“OSCURE” FAILOL. T’ain’t English, t’ain’t.
Who plays Thumper in this new version of the childrens classic? My vote is for Rumsfeld.
reality does have about it a certain poignancy. who knew our government’s minions were possessed of such exquisite panache? next thing you know, they’ll be ordering fresh crullers for the interrogators to nibble upon between cleverly-executed episodes of ever newer and more creative cruelties. have you tried the alcohol-soaked cotton swab inserted into the urethra? darling, it’s to die for.
[re=393869]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: ‘ee speak Italiano, k?
I thought it was more contrived and cloying than poignant and real. I’d give it only 2 stars out of five.
Update: http://abookaboutdeath.blogspot.com/
Would be great if the CIA contributed to this exhibition. Think of the possibilities!
We have met the enemy, and he is us.
Lucky for the detainees that CIA opted for ‘poignant’ instead of its synonym: heartrending.
“It’s Moctezuma time!”
[re=393880]Min[/re]: We have met the enemy, and …we elected him twice.
[re=393875]dementor[/re]:
ma naturalmente, quanto sciocco di me!
I know I tear up every time I’m waterboarded.
Poignant = pointed.
Poignant = pregnant.
The eternal question. Maybe we should ask the waterboardee whether he felt poignant, pointed and/or pregnant.
The guards attempted to spell “poignant” with bloody, poo-smeared naked bodies, but the “T” died.
[re=393882]user-of-owls[/re]: ?? 1 appointment + 1 elected = 2 elected? I see No Child Left Behind is working out exactly as God intended.
Thesaurus.com: making blockheads out of government authorities since Al breathed life into the intertubes…
example: I once had a supervisor who described his job performance as superfluous. He wouldn’t believe me that it wasn’t a good thing. Jeesh.
I remember visiting the torture museum in Germany. Same thing but different techniques.
Ten years ago I had this scar tissue growing in my urethra. They stuck this roto-rooter drill thing up my penis and took care of it. That was poignant also.
[re=393894]idiot son of an asshole[/re]: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3280/2353703257_f006f9d9f2_o.jpg
I see Wonkette’s “Comments Must Reflect User’s Name” policy is working out exactly as Magog intendend.
[re=393914]user-of-owls[/re]: OH! You’re right… Ronnie Ray-gun was elected twice. My bad….
WATERBOARDING : POIGNANT
(A) whipping : ennui
(B) iron maiden : sycophantic
(C) keelhauling : aureate
(D) rack : extensible
(E) garrotte : whimsy
Are they adding Waterboarding to the London 2012 Olympics?
[re=393864]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Having my knees bashed with bricks, my head wrapped in a towel and smacked against the wall and screamed at in high pitched, convulsion inducing frequencies reminds my of driving my kids to New England on vacation last week.
Piquant, perhaps?
Still not correcting ‘oscure’? Is it an in-joke, or does your blog platform not let you correct the above-headline.
[re=393853]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: I think the report meant the other definition of poignant: pleasurably stimulating. Well, at least it was for the Republicans in charge.
Forget “Bambi.”
You want poignancy?
You want “Bambi Meets Godzilla!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAVYYe87b9w
[re=393987]Jon Boner[/re]: Boingnant?
who knew?
the CIA is romantic at heart.
[re=393865]american mutt[/re]: i don’t get the bambi comparison.
Don’t you remember the bit in the movie where the hunters waterboard Bambi until he says where his mother is, and then they shoot her? When I saw it, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Pure movie magic.
Don’t ruin the ending for me. I just got to the part where they broke out the Black and Decker 18V 1/2″ drill with a titanium bit, cranked up some Falco, and 5 gallons of fluorescent body paint.
You know, random trivia, Bambi was way ahead of its time on the interracial marriage thing, as represented by the inter-species mixing of mom and Bambi as roe deer and dad as a red deer.
When did Peggy Noonan work for the CIA?
And of course, Cheney shot Bambi’s mother…there was also a program in the works to off Dumbo’s mother before that annoying little fuck figured out how to fly.
But did the call them after Like They Said They Would???
[re=393858]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Osama Bambi Laden’s Mother: Bambi. Quick! The mountains!
[they run; water being poured into a jug and harsh laughter is heard]
Osama Bambi Laden’s Mother: Faster! Faster, Bambi! Don’t look back! Allah Akbar! Allah Akbar!
Win uno y…
[re=394005]Mahousu[/re]: Don’t you remember the bit in the movie where the hunters waterboard Bambi until he says where his mother is, and then they shoot her? When I saw it, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Pure movie magic.
…win dos.
Obama will probably follow Scotland’s lead and let all the terrosists go – including the ones who master minded 911 – on campassionate grounds and then charge the CIA as terrorists and put them in jail and see how they like it. After all, the Americans were so mean to these poor terrorists – they need to do more than just apologize to the world for America’s actions on just about everything: as Obama has already done. Its time to admit that America was too tough on terrorists that bombed the Trade Center on their own turf, killed American citizens, and it does not matter that America is still in their crosshairs – everybody just has to be nice to each other and then these poor misdirected terrorists will feel bad and not be terrorists anymore – they will see the spanking we gave our bad CIA boys and repent. Obama wishing them all a happy Ramadan will certainly encourage them to love America and they will decide to take the Americans out of their crosshairs because America is so sorry for everthing it has done and has now seen the light. Certainly, they will turn their weapons into plow shares. Group Hug Everyone! I get weepy just thinking about it.
Obama will probably follow Scotland’s lead and let all the terrosists go – including the ones who master minded 911 – on campassionate grounds and then charge the CIA as terrorists and put them in jail and see how they like it. After all, the Americans were so mean to these poor terrorists – they need to do more than just apologize to the world for America’s actions on just about everything: as Obama has already done. Its time to admit that America was too tough on terrorists that bombed the Trade Center on their own turf, killed American citizens, and it does not matter that America is still in their crosshairs – everybody just has to be nice to each other and then these poor misdirected terrorists will feel bad and not be terrorists anymore – they will see the spanking we gave our bad CIA boys and repent. Obama wishing them all a happy Ramadan will certainly encourage them to love America and they will decide to take the Americans out of their crosshairs because America is so sorry for everything it has done and has now seen the light. Certainly, they will turn their weapons into plow shares. Group Hug Everyone! I get weepy just thinking about it.
Sorry for the double post folks.
[re=394122]on2u[/re]: Ironically, that is the post for which you have the least to apologize.
[re=394115]on2u[/re]: Redundant troll is redundant. Also, dumb.
I find waterboarding more piquant than anything.
Act four is set in an abattoir…I see a lot of (poignant) slapstick.
[re=394113]on2u[/re]: Hey, Fuck – assuming you’re not being wildly ironic (if you are, good on ya!) we’re America. We’re not supposed to torture people. We’re supposed to be agin’ it. We’re supposed to be the good guys, remember?
Well soon enough you will be torturing your seniors and mentally ill when obamacare gets passed.
Crystal ball for ya – via Canada
“The Fraser Health Authority confirmed Thursday it intends to cut surgeries, seniors’ programs and services for the mentally ill to help deal with a budget shortfall of up to $160 million.”
http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Fraser+Health+Authority+confirms+cutbacks+surgeries+services/1892143/story.html
9 Trillion in debt and the rest of the world clamoring for a different world currency – yes you can afford a free for everyone health care and a National Service Corp – which by the way is said to become mandatory. But what do I know – it is the age of Aquarius and BHO is the Saviour – the one the world has been waiting for according to all the new agers whose chakras lined up the moment they layed eyes on BHO – “you will see a light – coming down from heaven and you will vote for Obama…I am probably just getting all we weed up anyway..lost my mojo…must be that step grandmother in the Whitehouse doing that hoodoo voodoo thing. Any wonder it was the under 30 crowd that were the vast numbers of his supporters.
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