- WONKETTE TO ATTEND FIRST AND LAST HEALTH CARE TOWN HALL EVER: In a few short minutes the lovely Liz Glover will pick up your Wonkette from its home, and the two will travel to the distant land of Reston, Virginia. Rep. Jim Moran and Doctor Howard Dean will be holding a town hall there. Will we get in? Who cares! Most of the fun stuff (“racism”) is outside. Come up and say hi if you’re there. Your editor will be wearing his Baltimore Orioles cap to support the best team in Major League Baseball. [Washington Post]
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Authors
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5429)
Wonkette Jr. (626)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Kaia Mursi (44)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6695)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 103 comments }
Godspeed, Mr. Newell. Godspeed.
Be careful, Liz, those people are teh crazy!
Oh, and be careful, Jim. Also.
If my Wonkette comes out of its hole and sees its shadow will we get to see more pics of olds volunteering for death panels?
Don’t take Riley. You’ll end up lost.
GET A BRAIN, MORANS. YOU TOO DEAN. KEEP THE GUVMENT OUTTA MY MEDICARE. ALSO.
I can live without pics of the olds. More Liz pics, please.
Don’t forget your sign and your gun.
I hope you are packing, guns that is.
Hmm. The Orioles the best team in major league baseball. Isn’t that like being the smartest person at a health care town hall?
I can’t wait to see the photographs, Jim. Don’t make us wait too long. Make sure you gots plenty of fillum for your camera.
Sadness. I really liked this site. This is the end for you my friend.
Careful taking pics. I got on the wrong side of some teabaggers last week, and was pegged for being an Obama infiltrator. Guess they thought I was documenting who needed to be on the FEMA trains. Anywho, they didn’t cotton to me nohow.
And omfg, you won’t see that many disaffected, angry white people outside a clan rally or a NASCAR event. Truth.
Don’t forget to wear your “The Death Panel line starts here!” T-shirt.
Nick Markakis is smoking hot. Even his last name— Mar – COCK – kiss— rolls right off the tongue. And he’s Greek, you know, so there’s always a chance.
[re=394755]Internally valid[/re]: Oh Noez!! Their final “RESTON” place?!?!
“Your editor will be wearing his Baltimore Orioles cap to support the best team in Major League Baseball.”
The New York Yankees appreciate the sentiment but don’t quite understand the gesture.
Oh, please lead them in a “Down with Medicare” chant.
HA!! You said “Orioles.”
Ah yes, the lovely Liz. Has she had her Moonie wedding yet, or am I still in with a chance?
I wonder if MLB has licensed AK-47s. Think about it- you could stand in the crowd with your loaded Orioles semi-automatic, and hold up signs that say things like “Heath Care Reform FOUL” and the like. Then, when Howard Dean comes out you could display your love for your team by firing a burst into the air and shouting “Give Obama The Bird!” Later, in the shower at the maximum security prison, you will have a chance to use your official MLB licensed condoms while you are being sodomized by Yankee fans. True team love, that is.
Wow, I get paid WAY too much for the amount of work I do during the day.
I just wanna know where the gift certificate is? Seriously, I am starving.
Wait, Liz Glover is picking up my Wonkette from its home in the Mohave desert and driving 3,000 miles to Virginia, just to go to a town hall meeting? Well, I’ll be there, looking for my Wonkette in Orioles hat with beard and glasses.
With the way the Nats are hitting right now, I don’t know if the O’s are even the best team in the Beltway.
Okay, enough knowledge. Back in the sports closet with me!
Without a kegger held outside, this will be a damn dull meeting. Moran’s 8th District is basically Arlington and Alexandria.
Then again, Moran can be unpredictable (from Wiki): After then Congressman Stan Parris, during the 1990 campaign, called him soft on Saddam Hussein, Moran threatened to assault Parris.
Maybe Newell can ask the representatives if gay lesbians will get free abortions under ObamaCare and if not, why not?
I hope you two didn’t forget your “No!” ass signs! Muy importante!
Hah, it figures you’d get Liz-the-Daredevil to drive shotgun for you.
[re=394783]S.Luggo[/re]:
“Mr. Dean, will they institute the death panels before or after the FEMA relocation camps are opened? Also, when would the automatic garnishment of my wages to enrich the coffers of George Soros begin under the Bill as it i is presently written?”
Be sure to blend in – hang a few teabags from that hat.
Take lots of pictures, Newell. Be sure to run real fast when the bitters sniff out your smug elitism. If they break your legs the blogger’s salary may not cover the emergency room cost.
Mmmmm Liz Glover. Poor man’s Viagra.
Here’s a question to ask:
I understand Mr. Obama wants to institute universal health care.
Wouldn’t this be an invitation to aliens from all over the galaxy to come to the United States and how would we treat space visitors if we don’t understand how their bodies work?
[re=394753]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: But to make the oldz feel more comfortable, tell them to hold still while you take a Daguerreotype
Be sure to scream “hey, where all de Nazi’s at”?
Here’s your limosine liberal, tree-hugger government at work, America… No more shackling of pregnant inmates in women’s prisons:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32554695/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/
Make sure you ask about Barry’s birth certificate & tell them you thought ‘we still lived under the Constitooshun…”
Jim, just some advice: khaki shorts and black socks and shoes. and a “NO” on your butt. will go well with the cap.
BRAAAAAINS!
Jim & Liz:
You kids want to borrow a couple of Glocks and an M-16? I’d hate to think of you going to something like this undresssed. After all, you’ve got to REPRESENT!
Although, if it’s in Virginia, you probably could stop by the local “Guns2Go!” on the way and buy your own. (Man, I LOVE the Confeder . . . :::whoops::: . . . South.”)
I hear they are checking IDs. Be sure to bring your Kenyan birth certificate.
Bring your guns (all of them), but don’t bring your warblog.
Who cares what you’ll be wearing? Is Liz gonna wear one of them plunging neckline thingies? That’ll distract the suckers.
Also, why has intern Riley closed the comments on the next thread? Last I checked, we still lived under a CONSTITUTION!
You’re damn right they’re the best team in baseball.
“Dr. Dean,
Will we be able to use the rendered fat of the Olds in salad dressing, or will it only be suitable for diesel engine use?”
Going on the road to see Dean & Moran? Arty…
Comments ON for your rumors, Wiley, dear. We won’t tell Jim when he gets back. We all make mistakes.
Comments off? Comments off?! RILLLLEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!
Go in peace…pfft..
[re=394826]SayItWithWookies[/re]: KEIP UR WONKETT OFF MAH COOMENTS!!!eleven!!11!
Wait you are CARPOOLING there? That’s socialized driving. Nazis.
[re=394840]vitira[/re]: Real American Christians call it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yY_9D8d0rk“>KALAKA!
Beats drivin’ alone…
[re=394849]Extemporanus[/re]: Wonktards call it “HTML FAIL”.
Forget the Teabaggers and Birthers. Look for the Circumcisers!
[re=394852]Delicious[/re]: Afterbirthers?
[re=394791]jetjaguar[/re]: Beat me to it. Just remember:
“A NO! on the butt is worth two in the bush.”
–Rosa L of Wordsmoker
[re=394852]Delicious[/re]: I believe the term of art is “Schlongers”.
[re=394838]LittlePig[/re]: Really, anytime you mention Charlie Crist’s cock, comments but be made!!
If you get a chance, please provide Mr. Dean with some really top-notch buttseks (or maybe, since he’s all librully, he might be vaginally inclined). You know, if you get tired of carrying around your I CAN’T BELIEVE I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS and BRING BACK CRYSTAL PEPSI signs.
Be sure to ask Dr. Dean whether you will be able to get name brand–as well as generic–leaches under the public option.
So what is the problem with our little wagamuffin’s comments? I was so looking forward.
Sorry for the hijack but have we teased Riley a bit too much? He seems to have turned off commenting on his latest post.
If so, sensitive little bugger that Riley.
Don’t less us down. We’re all counting on you.
Also, somebody needs to attend this one. Please, for the love of all that is wholly. And death panels.
http://minnesotaindependent.com/42610/bachmann-to-host-town-hall-with-rep-ron-paul
Bring me back 100 birther scalps or don’t bother coming back.
[re=394826]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Last I checked, we still lived under a CONSTITUTION!
Frig that, a refrigerator box keeps the wind and rain out way better.
[re=394871]102415[/re]: Eh, the editors just ran off without giving him the keys to the blog. They’ll be back and then we’ll have a late-night bonus thread. And of course the comments will all be incredible since we’ve had so much time to refine and perfect them. No pressure, guys.
[re=394896]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Riley’s 1st Amendment rights were going to run into my 2nd Amendment rights, but the comments are on now.
Is there no special internets thingy that might be streaming this live? I mean Howard Dean and Liz Glover and all. And of course Jim. Also.
Ask them when I will be able to get free antidepressants. How can I get back to work when I can’t get out of bed? Not to mention it’s interfering with my ability to get my comments at the top of the thread. If the olds can have their Cialis and matching bathtubs, why can’t I have drugs to improve my performance?
Please ask about the great Reston Ebola scare of 1989, where they killed all the monkeys and tore down the lab.
“Dr. Dean, will the trains that will be taking us to the FEMA death camps and ACORN re-education camps run on the new high-speed lines that we’re paying for so as to create hyperinflation and the collapse of civilization as we know it?”
I win- came back from my town hall with Congresswoman Donna Edwards- many many OBama supporters but a small number of opponents(or dumb fat people as I like to call them). We also had the Larouchies outside and one inside- when she showed the “picture” and said Nazi- I hissed(I wasn’t the only one) said they should throw her out. Someone told me I should be the better person- I said being the better person involves tearing up the picture and smacking the bitch. We had a guy who gave his name- his middle name was Meatball or Maddog(reallY)- he stumbled through his prewritten for him crap- and he talked about THE POST OFFICE. Then a guy got up and said I AM AN AMERICAN(which is code for I am not from this district). He told some story about playing football in Canada but when the National health service found out he had one kidney(how come his excellent American health care didn’t find that out?), he had to sign a waiver in case he got hurt, and then he played one game and his team cut him with only enough money for the train home. This means(he said) that this Health plan will lead to National Health and they will tell you what job you can take. I left before it was over(there was sane people speaking as well) and when I saw the LArouchies outside with their Obama/Hitler crap- I was restrained- I told them to drop dead and to rot in hell.
Rep. Jim Moran of Virginia holds rowdy health care town hall
Watch Now: Live on CNN.com »
My only hope for our nation is that these crazies refuse to take a swine flu shot and shuffle off this mortal coil.
I want to hear about Randall Terry being ejected.
WELL that was a total waste of time. Just saw some dudes punch each other a little and was surrounded by tea-buggers and lots of CRAZY POLITE lefties. Also. Moving to Canada FTW.
[re=394877]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Wait… Ron Paul is a congressman? o__O I thought he was just a weird aimless hobo.
[re=394830]LittlePig[/re]: Will we be able to use the rendered fat of the Olds in salad dressing, or will it only be suitable for diesel engine use?”
It’ll be for candles. The olds is the only ones what knows how nuclear power plants work.
(sounds, snarky, but really, no joke this.)
Change the locks Waggaman.
Its COUP time.
What you didn’t miss: http://tinyurl.com/mlw9da
http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2009/08/25/terry/
[re=394925]finallyhappy[/re]: I remember donating to Donna Edwards. I’m so glad she won. Rock n with yourself!
~
Most important rule, DON’T ALLOW THE DEBATE TO ADVANCE, YOU ARE THERE FOR ONE REASON ONLY AND THAT IS TO DISRUPT.
Shit it’s probably over already and nobody will have heeded my advice.
[re=394970]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: Ugh — how Randall Terry has managed to stave off his inevitable arrest for soliciting blowjobs down at the pier to pay for rock I will never know. But I keep hoping the pathetic squalor he so richly deserves catches up to him.
Gee – Golly that Liz Glover is brave – I hope the mob of racist people don’t attack her with their canes – I saw a blind lady beat up a man with one on TV, he was trying to rob her while she was in a Ride for Cancer event (she had training wheels). Poor thug didn’t stand a chance. She made the CIA look like pay it forward kind of folk. Anyway, Liz please wear a bullet proof vest and bring pepper spray – don’t let them seniors fool ya – they are real dangerous. I heard even the black panthers are afraid of them. Make sure you don’t leave the “L” out of PUBLIC on your sign – you don’t want to look like – you know – are for pubic health care reform. (excuse my profanity). Oh I forgot – no signs. Bring a fog horn and megaphone – have fake ID so when your asked you can get someone else on a blacklist. Go see a makeup artist first and get him to make you look really really old – that way they will think you are one of them – carry a cane or use a walker for self defense. If you get the floor’s attention to speak, make sure you say you are a Doctor – bring a little girl – 5 years old would be best, and give her a script to recite. Good luck – I hope you make it home in one piece. oh, are you covered by health care insurance in case you get hurt? Doctor Howard Dean probably won’t treat your wounds otherwise. I salute you comrade.
[re=394904]Jukesgrrl[/re]: um, do you wanna hang out or something?
And omfg, you won’t see that many disaffected, angry white people outside a clan rally or a NASCAR event.
I really take exception to this. I’m going to say the ‘Bozo Ratio’ at a NASCAR event is actually pretty low, and a hell of a lot lower than other types of sports that cater to mostly white, upper middle class folks, ie every other stick and ball sport with a TV contract.
I only say this because I’ve actually attended NASCAR eventw, where I suspect you pretty much restrict yourself to whatever passes for sport in Second Life.
PS:
http://www.gaytona.com/
Such as. Also
The townhall meeting that rules them all!!!
[re=394992]on2u[/re]: Aren’t you late for cut & paste class?
You should take a picture with the craziest mofo there. It’ll be like an episode of faces of death, wonkette style.
SayItWithWookies:
No cut and paste in that comment – pure originality. It was good wasn’t it? (pats back)
[re=395016]on2u[/re]: For a non-housebroken Pomeranian whose parents have left him for the night, yes.
[re=394992]on2u[/re]: That is the most awesomely mind-melting Burroughs cut up on the subject of healthcare reform I shall ever read!
Sen Kennedy just died.
RIP Kennedy.
Bye bye Teddy. Sorry Healthcare reform died before you did.
Liz, I am concerned about there being guns at the mob meeting. Although these are dangerous racists, their aim can be a little shaky. They have been known to aim for the head and only hit an ear or hit a finger when going for the groin area. I forgot to mention that if you do receive gun shot or other wounds that actually bleed, and Doctor Howard Dean can not help you for lack of health insurance, ask for a tea bag. I am sure most people there will have one – there is nothing better to stop bleeding. This will also help to convince the crowd and the media that you really are a Doctor, not a social worker or a Doctor that did not ever actually practice medicine and home schooled for 26 years instead. Should work -3 times is lucky. It might be a good idea to bring ear plugs too. It is rumored these senior racists are heard of hearing – which is why they shout. Your comrades salute you.
http://www.ehow.com/how_4612347_stop-bleeding-common-tea-bag.html
Ah, this explains the Glenn Beckian fat oldz yelling about guns and gubermint fondling their free market Medicare: obese people have 8% less brain tissue than people with normal weight, and their brains look 16 years older than those of lean people. “That’s a big loss of tissue and it depletes your cognitive reserves, putting you at much greater risk of Alzheimer’s and other diseases that attack the brain.”
http://www.livescience.com/health/090825-obese-brain.html
Found some pictures from last night’s shindig:
http://tinyurl.com/l3hg2g
[re=395230]Earl Hoffert[/re]: We had the Larouchies but no normal people with opposing signs- although we did have some who were obviously against the plan. No one asked Donna if she read the bill- she has.
Finallyhappy: The funny thing is people were relatively deferential to the Larouchies — who were clearly crazy — but extremely nasty to the shouty yet more “normal” protestors. Lots of “shut ups!” and hisses, and I heard things actually came to blows in at least one incident outside.
I love you guys! I’ve missed you so much.
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