• February 13, 2012
  • GEORGE BUSH SR. SIMPLY WILL NOT ATTEND THIS FUNERAL: George H.W. Bush, an evil oil baron and son to a Nazi financier, will not make it to Ted Kennedy’s funeral in Boston Saturday, even though every other living president will be there. A spokesperson says that the old coot “feels his son’s presence would ‘amply and well represent’ the family Saturday.” COLD. [AP/Raw Story]

{ 67 comments }

Johnny Zhivago August 28, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Seriously, it’s a relief since the last time old man Bush sat through a long speech, he vomitted on the lap of the person sitting next to him.

Johnny Zhivago August 28, 2009 at 1:55 pm

And then there’s the guilt factor knowing you were involved in murdering the guy’s two brothers…

4tehlulz August 28, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Wait, is he dissing Kennedy or his shitsack son?

JohnnyMac August 28, 2009 at 1:56 pm

In George HW’s eyes Ted Kennedy died the day he chose to run against the most-high prophet Saint Ronald of Regan. Plus, I don’t blame him for not wanting to be in the same room as that idiot W.

Tommmcatt August 28, 2009 at 1:56 pm

Oh, sure, send the joke president. Why don’t you just paint “Fuck You” on the coffin and be done with it.

hobospacejunkie August 28, 2009 at 1:56 pm

That’s OK. One-term republican presidents have better things to do. Like count their Nazi money. Or daily bear the shame of having given us the worst president in US American history. And of having married a troll.

gurukalehuru August 28, 2009 at 1:57 pm

Just don’t let the stupid bastard speak. If he mangles a eulogy, and then tries to pass it off as an “aw-shucks” moment, a lot of folks are going to be seriously miffed.

freakishlystrong August 28, 2009 at 1:58 pm

spokesman for Bush said Friday that he and his wife, Barbara, decided not to attend Kennedy’s funeral after learning their son, former President George W. Bush, would attend.

Aaaawkward!

PrairiePossum August 28, 2009 at 2:01 pm

He feels W. would ‘amply and well represent’ the family? George Sr. sure doesn’t hold his family in high regard.

Chickensmack August 28, 2009 at 2:01 pm

“Every other living President…” while that implies “W the Proxy,” does that include Darth Wheelchair?

slappypaddy August 28, 2009 at 2:01 pm

the old coot knows where so many of the bodies are buried, he figures one more or less won’t make any difference.

Schmegeg August 28, 2009 at 2:02 pm

He would have attended, but could not get a continuance for the Death Panel scheduled for Saturday.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Looks like someone’s forgetting Yogi Berra’s advice: “If you don’t go to other people’s funerals, they won’t come to yours.”

magic titty August 28, 2009 at 2:02 pm

[re=397472]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Mrroowww.

But, didn’t GHWB and his battleaxe go play golf or some shit the day after she miscarried a million years ago?

american mutt August 28, 2009 at 2:02 pm

I’d rather have H.W. than W. there.

MOG August 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Georgie, you go the funeral like a good boy, make sure you wear a clean shirt and wash behind your ears. Now get out of here and do as you’re told!

TGY August 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm

[re=397473]4tehlulz[/re]: I presume he doesn’t want to upstage the retard.

Dave J. August 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Saturday is Bar’s taint waxing day, and you don’t want to miss a thing like that, kids.

freakishlystrong August 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm

[re=397490]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’d love to see Teddy show up at GHWB’s funeral; karma.

JSDC007 August 28, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Saturday is jello-day at Kennebunkport.

That’s when George gets to reminisce about the good times when Babs and Nancy went at each other in the Jello mosh pit.

Can’t miss all that Jello goodness for the funeral of some old Catholic.

Gopherit August 28, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Hahaha…..his old CIA buddies called and told him they’re gonna bomb that bitch.

Gopherit August 28, 2009 at 2:16 pm

[re=397473]4tehlulz[/re]: That’s a good question, isn’t it? SOunds to me like he doesn’t want to be within 100 miles of Dubya’s stank.

DemmeFatale August 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Way to bury the hatchet, dickface!

Mr Blifil August 28, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Dubya’s only going for the open bar.

the problem child August 28, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Parental supervision is apparently not required.

rev_matt_y August 28, 2009 at 2:23 pm

While GHWB is a better person in every way than GWB (faint praise indeed) he still harbors a serious grudge in that he wanted his family to be the conservative analog to the Kennedy dynasty and is still furious that W weaseled his way into what was rightly Jeb’s chance to make that happen. So he’s dissing both Kennedy and W. I give him extra points for style.

ella August 28, 2009 at 2:26 pm

Jeebus, even Dan Quayle said nice things about the Senator. This decision certainly proves money doesn’t buy class.

Snarkalicious August 28, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Fuck it. I bet Teddy ain’t goin to HW’s plantin party neither. Even stevens, bitches.

patrickman August 28, 2009 at 2:33 pm

He was going to hangglide to it but there wasnt enough room for him to land anywhere

Extemporanus August 28, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Dubya’s gonna “amply and well represent” the family by wearing a too-small mall kiosk t-shirt with a picture of the Bush clan printed on it.

And a tie, maybe.

IrksomeKitty August 28, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=397485]PrairiePossum[/re]: He feels W. would ‘amply and well represent’ the family? George Sr. sure doesn’t hold his family in high regard.

I was going to say having Dubya represent them all is a grave insult to everybody in the family with an IQ over 60.

AbstinenceOnly Ed August 28, 2009 at 2:47 pm

I have a feeling GHWB will be watching the proceedings from a nearby grassy knoll…

Min August 28, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Bush Sr. just doesn’t want to be seen in public with his disgraced son. And who can blame him?

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Easy on “Tinny Arf” Bush, folks — he still thinks brain cancer is contagious, so he’s sending the family member who everyone knows has immunity.

Cicada August 28, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Well that’s just…dickish.

King of the Dipshits August 28, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Maybe he just doesn’t want to get stuck having to listen to Bill Clinton go on and on about his rescue mission to North Korea:

“So George what have you been up to, still falling out of airplanes. You know I was on an airplane recently with two women I rescued from Kim Jong-il.”

germansteel August 28, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Barbara (the Blue Hair) Bush nixed George H. W. going when she remembered the name of his girlfriend from the 1980′s – Fitzgerald. She isn’t sure she is related to the Kennedy’s but she’s taking no chances.

annievt August 28, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=397475]Tommmcatt[/re]: Win! I nominate this for comment of the day.

Katydid August 28, 2009 at 2:55 pm

You’re taking this all wrong, Wonkettinis. As a New Englander, I can say, with some confidence, when someone dies ’tis traditional to break out the limbo stick and chant, “How low can you go, how low can you go…” Then you prove it.

Speed Ball August 28, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Great. Send in gag ACME brand Exploding Novelty President (TM)

ushekim August 28, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Cheney is the living 43rd President. No Bushes needed to be present.

AlexisHidell August 28, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Poppy sends his regrets because he already has plans. He’ll be at the Bohemian Grove enjoying an invigorating childblood drinking session with fellow “dead” lizards Falwell, Novak, and the Queen Mum that day.

Elm Hugger August 28, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Another prime example of family values being played out in the public’s eye, Just like his son skipping out while his daughter was having surgery right after he was awarded the presidency and he needed a vacation. God, I just love these people.

WadISay August 28, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Attending the funeral would interrupt Babs’ annual celebration of Katrina, which, as she remarked at the time, did such great things for the people of New Orleans.

Vulpes82 August 28, 2009 at 3:41 pm

He’s about a thousand years old; maybe he’s the next to go, but doesn’t want to spoil everyone’s surprise by saying, “Sorry, I’m on death’s door, and since I don’t want that idiot son of mine near me anyway, he can go.”

graceless August 28, 2009 at 3:44 pm

When he says his son, does he mean Dubya, or Bubba?

Constantine August 28, 2009 at 3:47 pm

This is either a classy move by a guy on his deathbed who doesn’t want to steal TK’s thunder, or it’s one of the biggest jerk moves of all time.

GreenHalo August 28, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=397503]freakishlystrong[/re]: Now that’s C-Span worth watching. “BRRAAAINS! BRRR — the fuck? ‘CSI: Purgatory’ couldn’t find brains in this fucking place. I passed a Mensa 18-30 smart-drug rave to get here! Yo, Agent Smith, you keep pumping lead into me and I’ma reach up your ass and pull out your beating heart. I’m out of this dump anyway. Losers.”

Woodwards Friend August 28, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Clearly H.W. does not want to been seen in public with his son. Can you blame him?

BlueStateLibtard August 28, 2009 at 4:19 pm

Bush Sr. just doesn’t wanted to be reminded again of how all his sons turned out to be disasters.

DangerousLiberal August 28, 2009 at 4:21 pm

In today’s New York Times:

President George H.W. Bush, who vacationing at his family’s home in Kennebunkport, Me., about 85 miles north of Boston, will not attend, his spokesman, Jim Appleby, said in a telephone interview. “At 85, a car ride of that length is a little out of the realm of things,” Mr. Appleby said. “The President spoke with Mrs. Kennedy yesterday and expressed his condolences.”

WTF? Would an 85 mile drive tax his Depends? Would the drool cup overflow? What?

My family can’t talk my 94 year old grandpa out of planning to drive himself from Seattle to somewhere in North Dakota to “help a friend with the harvest.” GHWB can’t be driven 85 miles to a funeral where all he has to do is sit there and wish his chromosomes hadn’t created that chimp about three seats down. Once again, GHWB solidifies his sterling reputation as a wimp.

kdaddy August 28, 2009 at 4:44 pm

Yes, his luminescent son will well and amply represent the Bush Legacy.

chascates August 28, 2009 at 5:24 pm

He could honor him best by another sky dive. Without the chute would be the hightest honor.

Fly Over Girl August 28, 2009 at 5:55 pm

Seems to me like the twins would have been better representatives for the family. Teddy liked girls who could party.

Scoops McGee August 28, 2009 at 6:14 pm

He could send Neil, to pick everybody’s pockets while they’re distracted by grief.

Jukesgrrl August 28, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=397952]Scoops McGee[/re]: An appropriately cold WIN.

Extemporanus August 28, 2009 at 6:58 pm

[re=397797]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Would skydiving to the funeral be more in “the realm of things” than a chauffered car ride? Because he just did that two fucking months ago!

What [re=397877]chascates[/re]: said. And he should do it twice, just to be sure.

Johnny Zhivago August 28, 2009 at 7:38 pm

[re=397797]DangerousLiberal[/re]:

Bush skydiving on 6/12/2009:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/12/george-hw-bush-skydiving_n_214973.htmlago?

the cold war makes me hot August 28, 2009 at 7:54 pm

Wow, I’m really surprised he can’t find a way to get flown down to Boston and be respectful. I mean, the guy could fly himself. He’d just have to ride on Barbara’s back.

BlueStateLibtard August 28, 2009 at 7:56 pm

Too frail to sit in a plush air-conditioned stretch limo, but not frail enough not to skydive. The Bushies are just lying assholes to the end.

DoctorCulturae August 28, 2009 at 9:56 pm

Reprehensible. This was a litmus test on character. Epic fail. Of course. Dick.

Paul Tardy August 28, 2009 at 11:31 pm

I thought there was a law that all living POTUSs could not be in the same place at the same time in case a terrorist attack killed them all.

katrina August 29, 2009 at 1:37 am

Babs didn’t want to waste her beautiful mind on this sort of thing.

villageatrois August 29, 2009 at 2:56 am

As a former CIA Director, Bush learned a few things about the Kennedys. Thus, they know a few things about him. They try to get people hired to start each others’ cars.

LoweredPeninsula August 29, 2009 at 3:15 am

Besides the Bush’s and Kennedy’s being back-stage mortal enemies, it seems most likely to me that Herbet Walker, as he made pretty clear during the last eight years, doesn’t want to be seen anywhere near his son Rosemar — I mean George? Too snarky?

Mr. Mephistopheles August 29, 2009 at 6:28 pm

z[re=397493]magic titty[/re]: It’s worse than that. They played golf on the day that they buried their three-year-old daughter, Robin.

on2u August 30, 2009 at 2:47 am

Having that child pray for socialism – God card – and for socialism, destruction of the american economy and constitution is the equivalent of michael jacksons dad using his sons death to promote his record label.

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