• February 13, 2012
  • IMPORTANT DECISIONS: Your editors will NOT be liveblogging this education speech at noon, because it will simply be the president telling kids that education is important, and while that is wrong, there is no sort of controversy or news or anything of any interest to be found here. We would rather liveblog the cloud formations changing. The wingnuts have a problem with THAT, too. [White House]

{ 62 comments }

FMA September 8, 2009 at 11:31 am

But you will be liveblogging the Republican response, delivered by Dubya, telling kids that it’s OK to drift through school in an alcohol- and coke-fueled haze, rely on your daddy’s business connections to get through life and pretty much fuck up everything you touch — and you can still get elected president.

FMA September 8, 2009 at 11:35 am

[re=404451]FMA[/re]: Or rather, I should have said, “have the Supreme Court appoint you president.”

Doglessliberal September 8, 2009 at 11:41 am

[re=404454]FMA[/re]: and then scare the shit out of the idiot populace with lies so you actually do get elected the second time around.

mookworthjwilson September 8, 2009 at 11:42 am
Come here a minute September 8, 2009 at 11:42 am

I suggest a liveblogging in these comments. I would love to participate, but I will be busy with my appointment at socialist reeducation camp.

AnnieGetYourFun September 8, 2009 at 11:42 am

Nimbostratus… or socialist indoctrination???! YOU DECIDE.

magic titty September 8, 2009 at 11:42 am

It was only a matter of time before wingnuts realized the public school system was a form of Socialism and opted out.

nbawriter September 8, 2009 at 11:43 am

My kid stayed at home just to read your liveblog of the speech that he isn’t allowed to see in school.

Lesson: My kid can depend on exactly zero adults. I’m going to see if he would like to be aborted in this, his 24th trimester.

V572625694 September 8, 2009 at 11:47 am

[re=404463]magic titty[/re]: Yep, and next they’ll realize that the sewer system, water supply and garbage collection are socialist institutions too (in most places). So you’ll be able to recognize their domiciles by the heaps of garbage, dead plants and smell of human fecal matter.

“Going Galt,” they call it. Peeyou!

dougbob September 8, 2009 at 11:47 am

oh, i see. wonkette has joined the boycott. there goes your liburil credentials.

4tehlulz September 8, 2009 at 11:51 am

ZOMG I SEE A CLOUD THAT LOOKS LIKE AN UNCIRCUMCISED PENIS IT MUST BE KENYAN

Hooray For Anything September 8, 2009 at 11:52 am

Shoot, how am I going to be able to decode the speeches subliminal Commie codes now?

Brendan M. September 8, 2009 at 11:57 am

The price of liberty is eternal vigilance, you slags.

widget09 September 8, 2009 at 11:57 am

Teaching personal responsibility is pure communist propaganda. And the final statement: “God bless America”, which god is Barrack referring to: Muslin Allah car bomb god, Morman Wild West Jesus six shooter God, Mary the mother of god, Hindu Fart God, Shinto suicide god, or Bhudda panniculas god?

theanswer September 8, 2009 at 11:58 am

But if you play the speech backwards it says, “Democracy is dead!”

DoktorZoom September 8, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Liveblogging anyway, dammit…Has this “Timothy Spicer” been vetted?

V572625694 September 8, 2009 at 12:03 pm

When Obama says “Study hard,” what the children will really hear is “All private property is theft.

When he says, “Do your homework,” they’ll really hear, “Behind every great fortune there is a great crime.”

When he says, “Go to school every day,” they’ll hear, “The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves and then we will save our country.”

DoktorZoom September 8, 2009 at 12:04 pm

Prediction: Wingnuts will turn several shades of magenta over the fact that the class president at Wakefield HS is also a communist Kenyan Muslim

WideStance September 8, 2009 at 12:06 pm

The more often Obama (1) causes the wingnuts to sound the alarm for two weeks about what damage he’s about to do, and (2) then does nothing even arguably objectionable, the better.

Baconcat September 8, 2009 at 12:06 pm

[re=404478]Brendan M.[/re]: Nuh-uh! The price of liberty is A BUCK OH FIVE!

OReillysVibrator September 8, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Obama needs to make a point to use random harmless words that he knows Beck will interpret as crazy leftist hypnotic words. Like just now – “turn off the X-Box” – as in, no more X *Box* and more *MALCOLM* *X*?!?!?! TRAITOR!

OReillysVibrator September 8, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Aaaaahahahaha he IS using leftist codewords, and talking about the poor and homeless! Ohhhhhhh it’s going to be fun seeing Republicans tie this to communism. I mean they’ll probably win the debate on that because of the country we’re in, but it will at least still be funny.

DoktorZoom September 8, 2009 at 12:13 pm

This is easily the most inflammatory address I have ever been exposed to. Obama has clearly lost the homework-avoiding, talking-back-to-teachers, not-trying vote forever.

El Pinche September 8, 2009 at 12:13 pm

[re=404479]widget09[/re]: Yes, an elitist Harvard education has taught our Comrad Barakk well.

And don’t forget the Kabbalah messages from the numbers in the speech, which translate to “beat up whitey, steal his lunch money.”

Open your Minds Children. Listen to Our Leader.

DoktorZoom September 8, 2009 at 12:16 pm

“Set your own goals?” “Wash your hands”? Straight out of the Marx Engels Reader!!!!

DoktorZoom September 8, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Uh-oh…”JK Rawlings? Serious erosion of your nerd cred there, Barry.

Canmon (the Inadequate) September 8, 2009 at 12:23 pm

The Revolution will not be liveblogged.

El Pinche September 8, 2009 at 12:24 pm

So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.

Who’s “us”?? Ahhhh (draws on chalkboard ala Beck)

US -> U.S. -> U.S. gubment-> COMMUNISM!!1!

Don’t let the U.S. government down or we’ll kill your family.

Nice try nobama.

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 8, 2009 at 12:26 pm

Admit it, Jim, you all didn’t live blog this because you were all afraid that if you did listen, you would end up soulless commies.

Mr Blifil September 8, 2009 at 12:26 pm

I will say it was inappropriate when he kept pretending to insert the tip of his pointer into the nostril of that giant enlarged photo of Trig.

house of the blue lights September 8, 2009 at 12:27 pm

[re=404463]magic titty[/re]: It’s called “charter schools”

DoktorZoom September 8, 2009 at 12:29 pm

My god…that was EXACTLY like watching Triumph of the Will.

geminisunmars September 8, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Thank God I don’t have children. I wouldn’t want them exposed to all that pressure. How dare he extol the virtues of hard work. That’s communist right there.

Hooray For Anything September 8, 2009 at 12:32 pm

[re=404507]DoktorZoom[/re]: Even worse, that’s going to piss off the Jeebus lovers too as they hate Harry Potter because of all the magic, sorcery, and wand holding that goes on in the books

Larry McAwful September 8, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Obama has told us to stay away from the capitalist Xboxes and, by implication, go buy a socialist Wii. Now we know which video game system hates America.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 8, 2009 at 12:36 pm

[re=404541]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Exactly. Plus this will just reinforce the fact that Barry is teh AntiChrist.

factnorfiction September 8, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Are you really going to let some black guy talk to our kids??????

S.Luggo September 8, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Following the speech, all ofays in Congress will be arrested and the revolution of the persons of coloration and dusky tint will be complete. Barry will step aside for the People’s new leader, Van Jones.
Glennda, ya be such a suckah.

T-thyme September 8, 2009 at 12:41 pm

Sure, indocterinating innocent school children is crummy…but you have missed the real tragedy of the day. Our valiant and noble Sen. Chuck Grasshole has had his wee heart smashed to smithereens by that vicious Kenyan pretender. Apparently said chocolate fellow does not sound adequately bi-partisan to Sen. Grasshole. Oh woe!!! How can we expect the dear Sen. to keep up the good work of warning everyone about death panels???

ignatius_riley September 8, 2009 at 12:41 pm

I was expecting more fist pounding on the podium, for emphasis. Didn’t Hopey’s MENTORS, HITLER and MUSSOLINI, do that all the time when speaking about how learning is COOL??

Johnny Zhivago September 8, 2009 at 12:41 pm

What the hell is this ACORN Armband my kid came home wearing today!!!!

AtlasHugged September 8, 2009 at 12:47 pm

If you play his speech backwards you can hear the major tenants of the Communist Manifesto.

factnorfiction September 8, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Are you really going to let some black guy talk to our kids?

Kinkster September 8, 2009 at 12:57 pm

[re=404479]widget09[/re]: Don’t forget Some Mung Moon!

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 8, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Actually, if you wanted to have fun, you should have covered the wingnuts on MSNBC who were criticizing Obama for being articulate and encouraging children to study, as it is just one short step from that to teh gayez getting married.

Maxine of Arc September 8, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=404563]AtlasHugged[/re]: The Communist Manifesto has tenants? Any idea what the rent is like?

Humpback September 8, 2009 at 1:06 pm

How can we have this socialist propoganda in our public schools??!!

Deacon Frank Orris September 8, 2009 at 1:07 pm

[re=404575]Maxine of Arc[/re]: “From each according to his ability to pay,” I think.

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2009 at 1:12 pm

Shit. Already posted what I thought on another thread. My favorite part was Dr. Nancy calling the assface, bucktoothed hillbilly crazy. Or that’s what I heard, anyway.

RoscoePColtraine September 8, 2009 at 1:20 pm

[re=404573]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Agreed. “Obama is so likeable and articulate and good looking, that it is nothing short of DANGEROUS to let our children see him without our being there to tell them that he’s a queer-loving america-hating muslin nazi socialist.” That wasn’t an enviable task, but I did enjoy watching teh black conservative pundit contort himself to find fault with this speech.

TGY September 8, 2009 at 1:23 pm

[re=404581]Deacon Frank Orris[/re]: And ‘to each according to the fullness of his beard’. Marx, you know. He was a pre-Taliban.

CycloneArmageddon September 8, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Since when did we make a Kenyan Secretary of Education?

TGY September 8, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Outrage! How *could* the editors ignore this non-event?

JooJoo Bee September 8, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Hard work! Work! Like WORKERS. See? Code for Communist! Also, you know, black authority figure. Heaven forfend.

facehead September 8, 2009 at 1:41 pm

But how else will we find out if Obama is turning our children into prostitutes of the state?

iolanthe September 8, 2009 at 2:05 pm

[re=404575]Maxine of Arc[/re]: Thank you. That was “tenets”, of course … one of those words that’s disappearing from the language ’cause people don’t fucking *read* and they figure some rough homonym they heard some TV talking head burble must be just as good.

“Drivel” is also disappearing, to be replaced, in all internet comments everywhere, with “dribble.”

geminisunmars September 8, 2009 at 2:15 pm

[re=404648]iolanthe[/re]: You wouldn’t want them to be driveling on the basketball court, wudja?

Bruno September 8, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Read just like the transcript. TEleProPtERZZZ!!1!!

Bruno September 8, 2009 at 3:49 pm

OMFG. Obambi was home skooled in Indonesia by his illegitimate mother? MUSLIN FASCHIST!!1!

Bruno September 8, 2009 at 3:57 pm

[re=404836]Bruno[/re]: I mean INDO-CHINA

RobPetrified September 8, 2009 at 5:19 pm

The air all across America is filled with the acrid smell of tire smoke…..
As the right wing crazies furiously back pedal on this “issue.”
What bright, shiny, made up thing will the media use to distract them next week?
Stay tuned.
They’ll be told what to think at least by Monday, if not tomorrow.

RobPetrified September 8, 2009 at 5:23 pm

[re=404463]magic titty[/re]:
I actually know people who feel strongly about that.
Not strongly enough to pull a wad of cash out of their pocket to send the junior skinheads to Christian school, but strongly enough to bring up socialism whenever the subject comes up.
They don’t seem to mind socialist fire departments,police departments, roads, etc.

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