RUE THE DAY WHEN IT WILL BE TRANSLATED INTO SPANISH. Jenny Sanford did not already have a book deal, somehow, but it is fine, because now she does! Her “inspirational memoir” will be released in May 2010. It is tentatively titled The Book of Job. [CNN]
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Authors
Jim Newell (5418)
Wonkette Jr. (623)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (796)
Kaia Mursi (43)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Liz Colville (94)
Ken Layne (6695)
Blair Burke (170)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 35 comments }
She should co-author a book with Elizabeth Edwards and really bring the “inspiration”. The inspiration to drink heavily.
Will wait for The Book of Hand Job.
not enough Job jokes
“Don’t cry for me, Argentina”
Dear editors and commenters:
Why can’t I change my user name? I fucked it up when I was drunk and commenting late at night and now it’s broken. I am way to vain for this. Do you have any suggestions?
Sincerely,
KevoTron
p.s. Trucknutz, also.
Kev O’: Not only that but I can’t click on ‘reply’ and have your name appear. That’s what getting a job will do to you. Assuming you’re still employed.
[re=417191]Speed Ball[/re]: Well played.
[re=417199]chascates[/re]: I think it has something to do with Prop 8. This is definitely motivated by hate and likely due to the Mormons.
Kev O’
Remove the ‘ from the end of your name.
Monsieur Grumpe’ knows from experience.
To paraphrase George Washington Plunkett: She seen her opportunities and she took ‘em.
Ironic. I believe it was Ms. Sanford’s failure to give a certain kind of “job” that caused her husband to hike the Appalachian Trail in the first place.
[Kevo O'Tron: try inserting spaces around the apostrophe: "Kev O' Tron"]
Jenny should write one of those mystery thrillers that get advertised up there to the left. Something like, A beautiful intelligent woman’s soul-wrenching odyssey to piece together the ancient clues behind a globe-spanning conspiracy tearing apart the modern world.
All the clues would point to Argentina.
Just what the world needs — advice on how to be a supportive wife while your fiscally conservative, fundamentalist husband is compromising whatever principles he pretended to have to gain high office and is now spending the state’s money to screw at least one other woman. Does that sound the least bit inspirational? I guess all the girls who were inspired by Pretty Woman are going to love this shit.
[re=417212]shadowMark[/re]:
“Where in the World is Mark Sanford and why is he banging Carmen Santiago?”
Capitulo 1. Era una obscura y tormentosa noche. Mi esposo estaba en la cama con otra mujer en otro pais. Pense, ? como podria hacer dinero de esta situation? Porque no escribir un libro.
Capitulo 2. El Jardinero entra a mi cuarto.
Rejected titles:
“Jesus Persuaded Me Not to Kick My Husband’s Balls into the Stratosphere”
“Blessed Be the Meek, but Not That Argentinian Fuckslut”
“Dear God, Please Turn My Dickbag Husband into a Pillar of Salt. Love, Jenny”
“Jesus Take the Wheel (and Run Over My Husband’s Sorry Ass)”
[re=417208]memzilla[/re]: [re=417206]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: The site won’t allow me to change the “nickname”. I tried removing the apostrophe and changing to KevoTron but I get an error message that says “you can’t change this.” I don’t know. Ever since Sara left for maternity leave…
I think Juli has it in for me. The banhammer’s next.
[re=417216]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: ¡Usted miente!
[re=417218]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: That last one would make a hell of a country song, wouldn’t it? Dolly P. or Reba should get all over this one.
Kev O’: It’s the email address you can’t change. You can’t just use backspace to alter your user name?
ShadowMark > if I lie, may the good lord strike Kev O’ with a powerful lightning bolt so hard it changes his name.
[re=417221]Kev O’[/re]: The apostrophies cause the problem. Since they’re string delimiters, the database that stores all the info for this site expects them in pairs. When that doesn’t happen, you can’t update information with apostrophes in it.
Whoever Wonkette’s software developer is can fix this by writing a function that parses any string before it gets added/updated and change the lone apostrophes to pairs — so, for instance, it would write your name as Kev O”Tron. Most databases understand this to be an escape sequence for a single apostrophe, and save it as such.
Kev O’: an email appeal to Jim, along with the sacrifice of a virgin to the IT viziers under his thrall, may be effective.
[re=417226]chascates[/re]: Nope. Won’t do it. I click update and it highlights my name in red. I’ve tried logging in and out and I waited 24 hours before trying again. I guess I’m just Kev O’ unless I get a new account which is kind of a nuisance but WHATEVER. Sorry for shitting all over this thread.
[re=417215]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Win.
“The Pre-nup Will Fall To My Wrath.”
[re=417244]SayItWithWookies[/re]: HAHAHAHA! Wonkette software developers! Priceless.
Hello, commenter stars anyone?
Jenny should co-write the book with María. They could call it, “Our Mutual Friend”, or “Marked”.
[re=417213]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Really. I still say she has not taught her sons anything but how to abuse their future wives. Jenny, call us when you get the divorce.
What’s inspirational about having your husband take an enormous horse-sized runny dump all over your shriveled beauty in public?
[re=417277]Gopherit[/re]: “commenter stars anyone?” I will Ho no Mo, forever.
[re=417433]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Perhaps she has the courage not to kick him in the balls? I dunno, really.
Kev O’: It’s not Juls, she’s sweet and innocent! Whatever.
“Appalachian Summer”
Given the source of her fortune, Jenny should entitle her little screed “Tools That I have Known.”
[re=417244]SayItWithWookies[/re]: This is how I failed teh college. Apostrophes.
[re=417215]ManchuCandidate[/re]: ““Where in the World is Mark Sanford and why is he banging Carmen Santiago?””
This is hilarious on two fronts. Firstly, it’s a clever play on a cultural item. Secondly, Carmen San Diego has become Carmen Santiago, her poorer, less attractive cousin, I assume.
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