Levi Johnston Now An Internet Pistachiomonger

who let him appear fully clothed?

I don’t even need to click the clicky. The still shot works just great. fapfapfapfapfapfapfap

Somehow I have the feeling this is not the first time we’ll see him with nuts in his mouth.

I like pistachios. And big black guys. So this is a bit of a win for me. But who’s the white kid?

And he doesn’t speak! This is the first time an Election 2008 famewhore has stayed within his range of talents. Also probably the last.

When editorial cartoonists satirize this bit of artwork the hunky bodyguard will be portrayed by an image of an internet clipart hippotamus.

LULZmonger, fishmonger, pistachiomonger…is pistachiomonger code for (common law) mother-in-law banger? Because for some reason I enjoy imagining Levigh banging that stretchmark-covered word salad shooter.

Protection, nuts, Levi, pistachio-green shirt. That was actually kinda funny.

I mean, how funny do you expect an ad for pistachios to be?

great. another snowbilly grifter gets paid. if retardation truly pays, I’m betting Alaskans have a much deeper vein to tap than oil or timber. Bristol, you’re next, honey.

Why. The. Fuck. Does. He. Need. A. Body. Guard!?!?!!

[re=426940]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: and she squeezed little tripp out her pee-hole!

[re=426954]el donaldo[/re]: Only good-looking retardation pays, or where would Hollywood be?

This is all part of Tank Jones meticulously researched PR campaign.

I guess Joe The Plumber wasn’t available to play the part of the body guard?

If the bodyguard had said “Get Crackin’ with the Cracker” i might have bought some.

Worst. Gay. Porn. Evar!

[re=426951]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: and in only 18 seconds.

Thank goodness they wrote ALASKA over the map on his tee shirt, or we wouldn’t have known.

Would you rather eat nutz or have one of these on your dash?

http://www.bobbleheads.com/product/tabid/85/p-317-sarah-palin.aspx

[re=426986]OReillysVibrator[/re]: Who in his life will have the skills to teach the son of Bristol and Levi to read?

[re=426942]MingPicket[/re]:

EXACTLY. Thank you!

Trig toodles toward camera, against a white background. Falls flat on face. (Voiceover): Don’t be a retard. Eat pistachios. Now.

[re=427008]WadISay[/re]: Total WIN!!

[re=427008]WadISay[/re]: water-out-nose!

[re=427012]thefrontpage[/re]: Are you kidding? Levi is too much of a poor. Besides, Meghan McCabe and her hair would never stoop so low as to date a coat-tail riding goofball. No. Never.

[re=427012]thefrontpage[/re]: Babies will have clown syndrome.

Why don’t you go tenderly kiss a trisomy 21, you Wasilla weasel. Man up assnuts, Trig is your spawn.
Fuck, I just got it!!!! Tri…somy, Tri….g
Maybe Spalin could “adopt” this type of ad to make a few moose bucks.

With “protection” this big, no wonder Levi’s walking funny.

I would love to see him join that cast of The Hills. For the first time ever, he would always be the smartest guy in the room.

I’m re-whoring this tasteful yet mildly-NSFW (no nudity, but lots-o-Levi-skin) Levi Johnston centerfold desecration because 1) the last time I linked to it, the killjoys at Photobucket killed it after only a few hours, 2) I’m sensing a lot of pent-up nuts in this thread that could use a fap aid, and 3) it’s highly germane to the post, and to not do so would simply be negligent.

Alright, carry on.

it’s not unfunny but it’s not that funny either

I watched that three times and I still don’t know the name of the Pistachio nut company

[re=426986]OReillysVibrator[/re]: I don’t agree. Do you think Levi is depressed about his mother makes her money?

I would *still* hit that. You go, Levi. I like you more all the time.

Since I missed a few days of Wonkette- did we have anything on Ensign and his continuing scandal news(pressuring gov’t agencies on behalf of his girlfriend’s husband’s lobbying firm)- that even Coburn(his doctor and confessor) is distancing himself.

Why can’t I read stories of 12 hour sexathons with Levi????

Damn he’s too hot.

Good Porn Title: “Levi’s Johnson”.

[re=427093]NopantsMcGee[/re]: except it’s Johnston.

One of the greatest tools on earth, and one of the greatest names for a tool, and greatest names for a gay prono, is the “johnson bar.” http://www.iheartrobotics.com/2009/04/cool-tool-johnson-bar.html

In Turkish, “fistik,” is the word for pistachio, also is slang for a super Nana, a major babe, a female of awesome attractivness and, now, for gay Turks, Levi.

[re=427050]Way Cool Larry[/re]: It’s “Wonderful.” Wonderful Pistachios.

I know because my some of my family’s nuts are in the bag Levi’s eating. Munch, munch.

I think I have found the way we survive this Sarah Palin mishap. Levi should eat her.

[re=427107]Prommie[/re]: “I suggest the 7 foot length for maximum leverage.”
Sheeet. Overkill. All it took was a bottle of muscatel with a screw-on cap and a Vienna sausage to put a loaf in Bristol’s oven.

“When the Lamb opened the seventh seal…”

[re=427107]Prommie[/re]:

You have weird ideas about what Gay dudes find sexy, Prommie.

I don’t need an ad to convince me to buy pistachios since I already love them. However, I did enjoy this ad after thinking that our resident Snowbilly was probably spitting nails after watching it.

[re=427287]ithasatilde[/re]:

Can you tell me which one is the bottom? I’m trying to get a good mental picture here….

Levi Johnston: Eats, nuts and leaves.

[re=427307]Tommmcatt[/re]: Well, only because you are pursuing a legitimate academic question:

After some playful struggling, ultimately Shep would be the top, right? Because otherwise it’s just too predictable.

[re=427337]Robert Zimmerframe[/re]: That was effing beautiful, man.

I don’t get Levi’s appeal. He’s not particularly good-looking, or particularly tall (really, what is he? Like 5’8″?), or particularly anything else, for that matter. But, I guess standards get lowered when you consider that he comes from the psuedo-political realm where his average competition are repugnant, overweight, middle-aged-to-eldery white guys.