- HEALTH CARE BILL MAY FINALLY LEAVE STUPID FINANCE COMMITTEE, NOW: Look, the CBO has scored the final Max Baucus Health Kare Bill! Who cares what it says, just p-p-paaaassssss it on to Harry Reid, for his turn to destroy everything. Supposedly this is when Obama will “get involved” with the final product! Maybe you’ll be able to go to see a doctor soon. [Washington Independent]
Read More:
- This Week: Asses
- Another Bunch Of Cartoons About Health Care, Plus Poop, Literal Actual Poop
- Give Barack Obama Money, Because Health Care Reform Hasn't Been Passed Yet!
- Our Long National Nightmare... Will Now Be Merged With Another Senate Bill, Debated On The Senate Floor, Voted On, Merged With An Also-Debated/Merged House Bill In Conference, Voted On In Both Houses...
- Senate Finance Committee Hearing Getting Epic In A Hurry
{ 23 comments }
Can we officially change the name of H1N1 from “swine flu” to “streptobaucus,” because?
Setting: Not too distant future.
H1N1 is consuming the planet! It dried up the oceans and made deserts of rain forests, etc.
Death and despair blah blah blah.
Glenn Beck pleads for his life in his best Towelie the Towel from South Park impression.
Glenn: Oh, lawdy! Halp me Mistah Corprit Healthcaih! I haz teh Pig AIDS! Halp me wif yur medicinlz!
Corporate Healthcare (played by Daniel Day Lewis): BLARRGGHAAAHAAAHAAARRR! FOOLISH HONKY! I DRANK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!!1 DID YOU THINK THAT YOUR UNQUESTIONING LOYALTY TO OUR CAUSE AND UNWAIVERING OPPOSITION TO NOBAMA’S DEATH PANELZ WOULD WIN YOU HEALTH POINTS? NO! NO HEALTH POINTS FOR YOU! WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE? A CHARITY?! BEGONE COMMIEFACISTSOCIALISTNAZIMUSLIN! FREEDOM ISN’T FREE! YOU MUST PAY 1TRILLIONWHOREDIAMONDS FOR THE CURE OR BECOME A ZOMBIE IN OUR POSTAPOCALYPTIC UNDEAD ARMY OF ZOMBIES!!!!11 BWAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!one!1.!…
Glenn: Oh, boo hoo! Why haz yoo foasakin me, oh mah Corprit Ovalaodz? Who shall halp me nao?
Glenn spots Mr. Government Man .
Glenn: Halp me, Mistah Govmint Man! I haz teh Pig AIDS! I needz me yur anteedoat!
Mr. Government Man: Oh. Well looky who came crawlin’ back wif their tail ‘tween their legs?! You expect me to help after all those tea parties where you was talkin’ smack ‘bout me? Sayin’ I can’t do anythin’ right?! Sayin’ Ima gonna kill granmammy?! Wearin’ my flag as a cape and misspellin’ all them signs? You moran! Here! Take the cure and shove it up your nose!
Glenn: Oh noez! Wy yu so meen?
Mr. Governmetn Man: SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOSE!
Glenn Beck thinks this is a joke, cuz you know how those lefty libtards love themselves the lulz; and not realizing that the vaccine is administered nasally turns into a zombie.
The End.
GreatOldOnesParty: Needs more cowbell.
Max Baux 360 Live! Death Panel edition – 2KB hard drive.
Max Baucus: Game Over.
i don’t need no doctor, but i wouldn’t mind a nurse.
What’s the status of the death panels? Cuz I’ve got a great idea to go into the SUV, ATV, and TruckNutz business by hitting up estate auctions of, uh, “superfluous” wingnuts.
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Wished for fantasy: Baucus become Lieberman the 2nd, aided for reelection detachedly, but banished into perpetual ineffectuality.
[re=429084]Sharkey[/re]: Electric Boogaloo?
Hey, and it saves $81 billion over the next ten years. This effort at responsible government will now be assailed by the Republicans as:
a) Socialism
b) Slashing Medicare
c) Imposing an onerous burden on the middle class
[re=429080]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]:
You, sir, should win a Tony.
Am I the only one who suspects the insurance lobbyists have all the Senate’s Viagra locked up in a drawer and that’s why Baucus and Co. look so happy now. The old boys can have their boners back. Of course, the American public is getting the shaft, but hey, its what we call good gubmint.
[re=429097]DoctorCulturae[/re]: who would montana run to the left of him? barkus? methinks not. baucus is the best polyp what will erupt from the anus of a state that is methtainta. so let’s abolish the senate and you know, represent proportionally. because us libtardz hate the constitution so much, why not?
[re=429083]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Comin’ right up!
Anyone have a boat they can loan me? I wanna go “Barkus” Baucus.
Is Newell secretly Happy Gilmore? What’s up with the st-st-stutter?
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Letterman? He may be available and appears to have a wide stance on issues like the Sen. from Idaho.
[re=429114]Extemporanus[/re]: Or this one.
[re=429192]Jim89048[/re]: I always liked that one—his expression totally sells it.
And now everyone is yammering on about an op-out public option. I don’t exactly what that means. Socialism makes everyone healthy but the Republicans can opt out?
[re=429080]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: tl;dr
[re=429325]InKnockYouUs[/re]: I think opt-out means Red State legislatures will now be able to demonstrate conclusively how much they hate the people who elected them. It might lead to some real fun in the future. Personally, if opt-out is a go, I’m buying stock in Allied Van Lines.
[re=429112]Mr. Herpes[/re]: Their Viagra and Flomax…
Comments on this entry are closed.