GOOD THING YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW, AND NOT IN A SEX POSITION: A polite congratulations offered from a distance to the city of Washington, D.C. today, which the CDC just named the country’s #1 gross hotspot for highest rate of STDs. D.C. STD rates are three times that of Virginia and four times that of Maryland. Who knew those Late Night Shots people were even still alive? [My Fox DC]
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Jim Newell (5429)
Wonkette Jr. (626)
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{ 42 comments }
“The government estimates there are roughly 19 million new cases of sexually-transmitted disease each year.” And how many of them are pages?
Probably all that “Going Rogue”.
Being on the internet can be a sex position, actually. Not that I would know.
It’s all the whores. In Congress.
Hey Congress, don’t be silly, put a condom on your willies! And that goes quadruple for you, Lindsey Graham.
I always keep a condom pinned to my bulletin board, just in case.
Seriously, what else is there to do there?
From the article’s comment section: “…Children in public schools are given rights you would only want full grown adults to have. Childrens brains aren’t fully functional till they are actually in their 20′s…”
So, 8 years of ‘abstinence-only until marriage’ education in public schools worked flawlessly, right? Whatever you do, do NOT teach kids about safe sex, condom use, and the reality of STDs. Just don’t do it! Let them be children!
C Street = Ground Zero
[re=463333]progressiveinga[/re]: “Children in public schools are given rights you would only want full grown adults to have.”
Children are having sex in public school? Man, when I was school we only got to smoke outside the building.
Maybe it’s time to move down to Washington, since it sounds like people are actually getting some down there…
So you’re saying I lost my dignity at Tom-Tom? Close, but no cigar. I lost mine at duplex. By the way, I think the numbers are inflated because they are probably counting logarrhea as an STD. Which it’s not. Probably.
John Ensign had a very busy year.
Braggers.
Apparently this whole “sex” thing is a harder problem to solve than we originally anticipated. The Conservatives got in there huffing and puffing with their abstinence education, but it was a tight fit. It’s time to pull out; the kids are coming home with V.D.
I’m never on the internet if I’m NOT in a sex position! Now I’m worried, thank you!
[re=463343]tbogg[/re]: Hepatitis C Street?
If you take Late Night Shots, middle-aged Republican federal legislators and the C Street house out of the picture, D.C. drops to No. 53 in STDs, behind all of the states, Puerto Rico and American Somoa.
See, $arah was right! Just like Anchorage. Read the book, people!
Today we are STD-raddled sluts.
Oh wait, that might actually be true.
Well, I guess everyone but Virginia Foxx will be bring a little something home to their districts for the holidays…
What about cooties?
And the longtime rivalry between B-more and Chocolate City continues. Don’t worry, Baltimore, I know you can push your numbers up in time for next year’s results!
I’m just glad that we in Missouri have relinquished the title finally.
I think I just found a cure for this…
My position on sex is that it’s a good thing… Huh? Ohhhhh…. Well, that’s different.
[re=463356]thefrontpage[/re]: Factor out the men’s rooms at RNC headquarters and D.C. drops to #63, below Manitoba…
Hmmm, just took a longer look at the CDC Report, and DC is indeed be #1 for STDs from a statewide perspective. From an MSA standpoint, however, DC isn’t even close. That title across the board belongs to Memphis. Hurray! And now I’m off to wrap my dick in 350 cubic feet of Saran Wrap to celebrate.
No more late night lap dances in Dupont Circle?
[re=463375]Jim89048[/re]: Umm…that story ruined Strip Yahtzee for me for life…as did the accompanying mug shot (cue wah-wah cornet).
Interesting they put Will Thomas on the story…
[re=463395]Mr Blifil[/re]: See? Problem solved!
At least they seem to have this boxed up.
It’s just Congress fucking around as usual. Veni, vidi, venereal or something.
[re=463321]magic titty[/re]: The sad truth is that for a great many people, being on the Internets is their sex position. Nobody likes to talk about it but the fact is the poor spelling and lack of punctuation comes from being forced to type with just one hand.
There should be a Recovery Act provision for distribution of free condoms. Of course, encouraging our children to be responsible would be sending the Wrong Message.
Sounds like D.C. has its share of incurable romantics. Maybe those ideas I read in that ubiquitous STD educational handout: “See Dick Run” were communicated too literally.
“GOOD THING YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW, AND NOT IN A SEX POSITION”
Can’t it be both?
I am saddened that Baltimore is no longer the std central. C’mon B-more.
Damn, there go my weekend plans.
[re=463383]Bearbloke[/re]: Funny!
I told them to put a condom on the Washington Monument when they were refurbishing it, but did they listen?
Nooo…
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