- FREE LEARNING SESSIONS OVER AT REDSTATE: Erick Erickson prepares to make an epic argument: “Let’s review our grammar for one moment. A noun is a word that defines what an object is, i.e. a dog. An adjective is a word that describes one attribute of the noun, i.e. the dog is brown. The noun is the dog because that defines the object in question and the adjective is the color of the dog, describing one attribute of the dog.” Next week: prepositions! Be scared! [RedState]
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{ 69 comments }
A noun is a person, place or fail.
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ERIK ERICKSON | IS | DICK
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\ A
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That’s not even correct?! “The part of speech that is used to name a person, place, thing, quality, or action…”
What the motherfuck is he even talking about? I just read that dipshittical post and it is all Jim Newell’s fault.
I now await links to sexxxy hott pixx of Tiger Woods’ latest third-rate poon to make up for it.
A noun does not exclusively refer to objects. It can also refer to subjects. Declension is beside the point.
Fuck’s he talking about? My grammar are gooder than he’s.
[re=476475]nbawriter[/re]: FUCKING FUCK THE GODDAMNED REFUSAL TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY SPACES, WONKETT!
(Sentence structure fail.)
I can’t wait for the Red State Primer on Apostrophe Use (‘s).
So many RedStaters dropped out of Junior High, Jim. Now let’s not get involved with Erick’s schoolin’. He knows what’s best for his people.
Why would a definition need a description?
Millions of English teachers cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
John Galt is the thing in feathers.
Remember when the Republicans started denouncing RINOs? Now they’re trying to separate out the real conservatives from the CINOs. Of course that acronym might sound like they’re somehow dishonest. How about Freewheeling Untethered Conservative Knockabouts? Then Erick could welcome all the FUCKers to RedState.
English as a first language for moronic Red-staters.
That was one big ugly bear.
TLDR. Hectoring, boring, and pedantic, also. FAIL.
As someone who has taken many courses in sociolinguistics, my eyes have rolled so far back in their sockets that I am typing this blind.
Combine this sort of linguistic narrowness with that list of “how much do you love Ronald Reagan, no, not the real one, but the one we’ve invented” test and you have GOP SATs.
[re=476484]nbawriter[/re]: Dude, it’s HTML, doesn’t deal well with spaces.
Adjectives have an inherent liberal bias. We must stop using them.
“Boy Dog Tree Catapult Nixon.”
I feel better already.
Well, *someone* needs a semicolonoscopy.
Noam Chomsky hates a prescriptivist. It’s the one point where his politics and his linguistics are sort of touching cheeks.
No true redstater needs to know about gerunds, though. Those crossdressing verb/nouns threaten the sanctity of the traditional sentence.
[re=476507]Mad Brahms[/re]: My linguistics degree burst into flames when I read that post.
[re=476511]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Is your caps lock broken? What’s with all the lower case?
Shorter Erick Erickson:
“Yea, let the purges of the impure continue until the streets run red with the blood of the moderate Republicans. Witch-hunts without end, Amen.”
[re=476476]uppercanada[/re]: Must’ve gotten the definition from Conservapedia.
what is all this “a noun is a word that… an adjective is a word that…” nonsense? words are signifiers that both point the way and block the way to the signified. every second-grader knows this. they learn it while they are learning how to learn.
Well so the real question is, what is the lefty analog to the conservatives (whoever) using ‘Democrat’ as an adjective (and one freighted with contempt)? Is there a good response to that?
[re=476507]Mad Brahms[/re]: The title of his next post–
The Zeitgeist, Weltanschauungen and the Umwelt: On Being a True American
One is given to wonder if EE has been giving this kind of instruction for many years, and that a new language has diferentiated itself, slowly, from American-style English. Maybe, when the sorts of fidgety fucks that populate Red State admonish us all, within these borders, to “Speak Murkin, doggammit!” they’re actually blindly stumbling over Erickson’s attempt to leave a mark on history.
Or he’s a motherfucking dundercunt.
Next week: RedState math or why you should always donate 120% of your income to RNC!
[re=476516]yargisbargis[/re]: I believe a traditional sentence is between a noun and a verb. It’s wrong to raise little articles in a perverse home with two gerunds living in sin. They shouldn’t be allowed to adopt pronouns, either.
Now, on with your lesson, pupils:
A noun can be a person, like Ronald Reagan. A verb is an action, for example violating his corpse sexually. An adverb would describe the amount of conservative zeal in your violation of Reagan’s corpse.
It’s a bit more complicated, of course, as exemplified by such common phrases as “kitchen appliance”. An asshole conservative is the juxtaposition of two nouns, whereas a conservative asshole is an adjective + a noun.
Also, what about “easy living”? Does “living” define an object and if so, which?
We could go on, although but it makes little difference here, for in the land of illiterate Redstaters, Erick Erickson is obviously king.
Once they’re done writing The Conservative Bible, they can move on to Websters -
Is this going to be on the test?
[re=476539]comicbookguy[/re]: Bwa hahahahahahahahahahaha…hoo.
Yes color or its use as short hand for race is an adjective. When black person became the accepted term replacing colored person, my dear southern belle mother would always scold anyone who call someone “a black” or “a white.” She would always remind them that they were “a black person or a white person – the person being the more important part.” To this day I cringe when I hear newscasters use the terms “blacks” or “whites.”
Does that mean “Trucknutz” is a verb or just a proposition…
Ug point at big rock. We all talk about rock. Uh oh, Ug cannot discuss big rock now because only sand here.
The noun is the dog…and the adjective is the color of the dog…. A noun is a word, right? And a dog is an animal, right? So a noun is an animal. Do nouns have fleas?
DEFINES an object? Jesus H on a dictionary crutch.
Okay, I couldn’t resist clicking through…
“I don’t mean to pick on a President I like…” but I an terrified of having to own up the failed policies of his buttfuck awful administration, hence the circular, dead-end logic I am applying to the problem of propping up my beliefs, despite their utter lack of relative applicability to the world at large.
I especially like this: I think we conservatives need to do a better job of finding people to run for office who are defined as conservatives, not as party men. Oh please. Oh please. Throw away the one feature of your movement that actually works, the thorough fucking over of members of the party for not voting the party line. Absolutely none of your idiotic, not actually policy crap would every be foisted off on the rest of us again. Yay!
Let me guess: does this have anything to do with the “Democrat” party?
Next up: Erick discusses how real Conservatives use VOWELS!
We stand in a circle and laugh, a bitter, cruel laugh as the poor, pathetic, but earnestly despised Erick Erickson descends inexorably into madness.
hehehe
[re=476530]snideinplainsight[/re]: Is there a good response to that?
“Learn English” would be one choice response.
WTF?
Yes, we understand how a word can be both an adjective and a noun, dipshit, you don’t have to spend 600 words explaining it. Or maybe with your readership, you do.
Erik, Erik, Erik, son of Erik,
You don’t have to worry about something as elitist as Grammar to make your point.
It is well known that Ronald Reagan was a strong swimmer. And no one questions his Conservative credentials (even though Reagan avoided doing almost anything actually Conservative other than cut taxes).
Why was he a strong swimmer? Because, otherwise he would sink.
So, obviously, we simply have to bind all Republicans and throw them into lakes. If they float, we know that they are not true Conservatives, like Charlie Crist, and must be eliminated before they can pollute the rest of Conservatism. If they sink, they are true Conservatives, and surely God will save them if they are important to the movement.
I am sure, Erik, that you will want to immediately want to prove your pureness by immediately having yourself bound and thrown into a lake. I say “God be with you.”
Que?
Is it OK to move my vowels now, when there’s noun here to be offended?
Ow my brain. Hey, I saw Eric Cantor’s name somewhere in there. That guy sure does like anal.
How terrible to be dogged (ha ha) by the hobgoblin of foolish consistencies. Yet, I have to think that if the new purity test for the GOP is going to be a grammar quiz, things are looking up for the red staters. Prescriptivism is SO much fun, whether it’s telling you how to cross your t’s or when to kill your homosexual aborting socialist nazi taxapalooza overlords with your fully automatic weapons!
[re=476657]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: More climategate. Stolen emails show so-called grammar experts deliberately using a “trick” to “hide the decline” of adjectives. Also marginalizing critics who contend that we don’t yet know enough about grammar to take concrete action that might sacrifice our free-form expression.
They ridicule our word usements. Also.
Weeow, the front page diaries on RedState are just like the crappy ones that Dailykos seems to try really hard to bury.
The Latin abbreviation meaning “for example” is e.g. NOT i.e. you brown dog-fucking Erick-monger!
[re=476508]binarian[/re]: And yet I keep trying to make it work. Brokeback MountHTML.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course; and no one can talk to a horse, of course, unless, of course, the horse, of course is the famous Erick Erickson.
Bob has spoken.
[re=476743]Extemporanus[/re]: And if your audience is someone who need “noun” explained, just use the words “for example”. I.e., Erick Erickson is a fucktard. Q.E.D.
[re=476770]apropos of nada[/re]: oops! Left out a comma after “of course” (of course).
You know you’re a wingnut when… you think it’s a good idea to clarify that George W. Bush isn’t genuinely conservative enough for you.
Hey master grammarian,
“Here is where the trouble comes in — there is no rule to separate between the two.” Say what?
Wingnut 101 at the Redstate Learning Annex. Today’s lesson: A handy rule to separate conservatives from literally everyone else in the world. Next week: Your ass and a hole in the ground, a comparative study.
Removed from the curriculum: proper use of i.e. and e.g.
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it.
CLIMATE CHANGE IS A HOXE!! CLIMATGATE!! YOU LIBARALS FAIL TO SEE MIKES TRICKERY, HIDING THE RECLINE, AND FUDGE PACKING IN THE HTJPEG CODE. I LOOK OUT MY WINDOW AND I SEE SNOW, WHERES THE PROOF!?1!
“I’ve done my best to make some sense of this.”
Now there we see the real problem.
I guess he couldn’t use “e.g.” because everyone knows that “e.g.” stands for “pro-choice.”
Whereas in GOP circles, “i.e.” stands for “illiterate moron.”
[re=476664]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Now, with 20% more win! Good job.
[re=476515]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Colorless green ideas eliminate habeas corpus.
[re=476516]yargisbargis[/re]: very good!
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