HOUSE PASSES BILL TO PRETEND-REGULATE WALL STREET! Oh look, the House finally passed a financial regulation bill, its third major legislative feat of the year. Now, as usual, it will go to the Senate to die. Not that this bill has anything even resembling teeth in it at all: “In preliminary votes ahead of the measure’s approval, lawmakers scaled back the bill’s ambitions slightly in ways that may increase its chances of overcoming objections from powerful financial interests.” Phew! [NYT]
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Failed Asset Relief Troubles?
Gee, I’m just glad the financial lobby remains as powerful today as it was before the Great Meltdown.
So long as the blood-funnel of the slimy world-girdling octopus which is Goldman Sachs can still be inserted into anything that smells like money, I feel safe. [credit to Mike Taibbi]
From now on financial lobbyists will be required to use an open #3 wash tub to place their bribes into.
I guess the financial interests exclaiming, “Poppycock!” would’ve been too much for them.
Asking lawmakers to regulate the financial industry is like asking junkies to pass drug laws. Everyone’s got to get his fix.
You know the old saying: if you owe the bank $100 then you have a problem. If you owe the bank $100,000,000 then a senator will give you a hand job.
House Republicans harshly criticized the Democratic legislation, saying it could restrict the availability of credit, cause job losses and necessitate future bailouts of troubled businesses.
…as opposed to their preferred policy of no regulation or oversight, which led to the current financial disaster, which brought us restricted credit, job losses and bailouts of troubled businesses. Really, do Republicans do anything besides project their own failures onto their opposition?
I, for one, am just glad that in the future, when the thieves who run our economy accidentally set it on fire, they will get a sternly worded letter from the government, of course, in addition to billions and billions of dollars.
I think the Democrats should pass a really strong reform bill if only to watch the Tea Baggers heads’ explode when they finally realize that they’re protesting for the right of Bank of America to up the interest rates on credit cards to 50% and for the head of BofA to make 20 mil a year as opposed to just 15 now.
Oh, no! They might object! That means congress might not have the privilege of teabagging them anymore? THIS MUST NOT HAPPEN.
It’s just so cute when our government pretends to govern.
In other words: “Here’s the keys to the vault. You guys, uh, just be sure to let us know if you’re going to steal anything out of there, mmm-k?”
WAKE UP SHEEPLE, THERES STERIODS IN BASEBALL!!11!
“In preliminary votes ahead of the measure’s approval, lawmakers scaled back the bill’s ambitions slightly in ways that may increase its chances of overcoming objections from powerful financial interests.”
and then there is all those senators to get buy (sic)
As it was written somewhere in the constitution(or on the side of Dolly Madison’s ice cream wagon)that money is free speech.It would be uncostitutional to have laws not favorable to the ones bearing the most free speech papers.The supreme court may be less succeptable to corruption,they seem to own stupid.
Finally, a 12-Step program for investment banks… I think we call it Plungers Anonymous; the logo would be humbling.
Thank God we are listening to this countries major financial institutions, who have proved themselves so competent over the last few years.
I this it’s time for pitchforks and torches. I’m imagining the scene in Frankenstein only it’s on Capital Hill and the monster is well, all of Congress. OMG I’m starting to turn into a teabagger!
This must be how it was 100 years ago when Teddy Roosevelt jerked knots in the robber barons. Of course today he would be mocked on Fox as a commie/pinko/librul/socialist pussy.
[re=476994]Oldskool[/re]: Yes today’s congress is just like that, except instead of ‘jerking knots’ in the giant banking institutions, they are providing unlimited access to government money and guarantees. If that doesn’t teach CitiGroup to be more responsible, I’ll eat my freedom tray.
bully, also
“In preliminary votes ahead of the measure’s approval, lawmakers scaled back the bill’s ambitions slightly in ways that may increase its chances of overcoming objections from powerful financial interests.”
What a bunch of sorry-assed journalese. Let’s try this, again:
“In preliminary votes ahead of the measure’s approval, bought-and-paid for lawmakers declawed/defanged/deboned the bill’s ambitions completely in a single way that will increase its the money-grapping power our rich-as-fuck, wealth-addicted, small-penised, plutocratic overlords.”
When it comes to being bought, the difference between Democrats and Republicans is that schleping a Democrat requires copious amounts of foreplay. That is to say that they are harder/more difficult lays, but capable lays, nontheless.
Sometimes, I dream of being a handsome, young pageboy/chief-of-staff, a buxom blonde legislative assistant, or a corpulent DC lobbyist. Then, I’d have the chance of buying my very own senator; maybe even one of the two from my state!
Oh, yes. I have a dream, today! Also.
Lawmakers scaled back the bill’s ambitions slightly in ways that may increase its chances of overcoming objections from powerful financial interests.
Well, that puts it delicately. Why not just say, “Capitalist lackeys squash progressive legislation?” You could use this headline for every story about Congress, except for the sexy-time stuff, which could have its own boilerplate headline.
[re=476994]Oldskool[/re]: This must be how it was 100 years ago when Teddy Roosevelt jerked knots in the robber barons.
Well, they’re jerking something on the robber barons today.
Oddly, Sarah Palin has not weighed in on the subject as of yet…
[re=476985]betterDeadThanRed[/re]: No you’re not turning into a teabagger, your screenplay just properly has the people with pitchforks ascending the Hill from the right AND the left. A hatred of Congress is the one opinion all Americans can share.
[re=477143]Mr Blifil[/re]: And, pray — to her god, to my non-god, to ANY damned god — that she doesn’t. For the troops. Also.
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