WHAT KIND OF ABORTION BILL DOESN’T PROPERLY ADDRESS ABORTION? This is quite a line from frumpy prosthetic muppet Ben Nelson, as he’s declaring that he won’t vote for cloture for the latest health care bill, naturally: “There’s a lot of improvement on the legislation but the basic question on funding for abortion hasn’t been answered yet.” Seriously, if Barack Obama wants to pass his signature Abortion Bill so badly, he should probably address *abortion* more fundamentally, before getting sidetracked on all of these little porky $900 billion health care restructuring riders people threw in at the last minute. [The Hill]
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Authors
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5429)
Wonkette Jr. (626)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Kaia Mursi (44)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6695)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 46 comments }
THREATEN TO SHUT DOWN OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE!!!1
Oddly enough Big Ben’s behavior makes a compelling case for abortion.
Time to abort the bill; go back to the House, reconcile the shit out of it and fuck you Ben Nelson, et al.
From our friend Wikipedia:
Nelson made his name and money in the insurance industry. After graduating from law school, Nelson landed a job as assistant general counsel for Central National Insurance Group of Omaha. In 1975, he became state insurance director before going back to work for Central National Insurance as an executive vice president and eventually president
re: alt-text – No Newell, I don’t think I’ll imagine that at all, thank you.
RECONCILE and piss off the fundies. Please! I’m so fucking sick of this.
[re=480836]chascates[/re]: what a whore he is and let’s make sure the poors can only get insurance from kindly private companies who never, ever turn anything down.
Judging by his ugly mug, Ben Nelson was aborted once and he’s still bitter about it.
The bill clearly states, in section seven, page 237, paragraph 12, that Michael Goldfarb will be retroactively and repeatedly aborted (postborted), so long as any federal funding sources remain.
[re=480846]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Is it too late to abort him again? I generally wouldn’t condone late-term abortion, but I would be willing to try it on this fuck.
C’mon, how can Ben support the bill when there’s a possibility it might, in some indirect roundabout manner, actually assist women in asserting a basic constitutional right? The next thing you know, ladies might start voting and having jobs, and we can’t allow that to happen.
Ben Nelson is a fucktard.
I need to go walk-off Jim’s alt-text now.
See y’all in a couple days…
Do Catholic Bishops get free health insurance? The Catholic creed apparently dictates that pedophiles are OK unless they waste sacred sperm which contains one homunculus per load which then grows up to be a Catholic in the mommy’s tummy. No eggs necessary.
This insane medieval gibberish is the basis for our health care policy forever.
[re=480839]magic titty[/re]: Reminds me of the Sam Kinison bit wherein he explains why he insists on being buried face-up, so that grave-robbing, necrophiliacs, like Ben-Gay, wouldn’t dig him up and ass-bang his rotten corpse. Ha.
This is clearly all Obama’s fault.
Too late to abort Ben Nelson, then?
I can see his point. What if Jesus gets aborted?
http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/12/chuck-norris-mary-might-have-aborted-jesus-christ-under-obamacareherodcare.php?ref=fpblg
Can we just start a Ben Nelson/Joe Lieberman channel on the teevees so these two can stop fighting over air time and just mug for the cameras 24/7 forever?
Does Obamacare cover prosthetic hairpieces?
I support retroactive abortion of idiots like Nelson.
[re=480870]Gopherit[/re]: holy (no pun intended) shit!
Some of those TPMers are pretty funny, though: Best comment:
“Apparently Chuck managed to roundhouse-kick himself in the brain this morning…”
Is it important? You’re yelling so loud
Makes no sense at all
Walking around with your head in the clouds
Makes no sense at all
Makes no difference at all
Nebraska Huskers love this shit:
Tarrance Group for American Future Fund [Pollster.com]
12/14-15/09; 500 likely voters, 4.4% margin of error
Mode: Live telephone interviews
Nebraska
Favorable / Unfavorable
Ben Nelson: 58 / 34
Job Approval / Disapproval
Sen. Nelson: 51 / 41
[re=480836]chascates[/re]: So let’s see, Nelson was and is a tool of the insurance octopus, Lieberschmuck’s wife is a lobbyist for Big Pharma, as well as having Purdue Pharma be his #4 campaign contributor, as well as Hartford and Omaha being major headquarters of insurance companies… not that we’re noticing a pattern here or anything… but why isn’t Rahm Emmanuel screaming about this at the TOP OF HIS F***ING LUNGS???
I was going to say boycott Nebraska but why bother.
[re=480870]Gopherit[/re]: I can see Walker’s point, though. Just imagine if abortion had been legal in Austria in the 1880s, and Hitler’s mother didn’t want to have a kid; the world would be a different place today.
Can we get an abortion bill that properly addresses the abortion that is his hair piece?
Ben Nelson thinks that no one should get healthcare unless women stop being such whores.
[re=480850]Hamster[/re]: The Democrats in the Senate can still abort his acephalic fetus of an opinion — via the nuclear option. It’s a little obscure, but here’s the operative graph:
The nuclear option would begin with a filibuster or other dilatory tactic by the minority. A senator from the majority would then raise a point of order saying that the filibuster or dilatory tactic is not permissible in this circumstance. The presiding officer would rule in favor of the point of order. The minority would appeal the ruling, thereby opening debate on the point of order. The majority would then move to table the appeal. A vote on tabling would follow immediately. The majority would prevail with 51 votes, ending the appeal and thereby sustaining the point of order and establishing a precedent. The filibuster or dilatory tactic would thereafter be barred by the new precedent.
Invoke cloture, Harry — and let’s get this clusterfuck over with.
You guys calling for reconciliation do realize that it’s a completely closed-door process, with no guarantees and would limit the the regulatory strength of whatever bill emerges, right?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reconciliation_%28United_States_Congress%29#Byrd_Rule
Basically, if it doesn’t affect the budget directly it will probably be tossed out. Buh-bye pre-existing condition protections, buh-bye any price controls, buh-bye anti-rescission measures.
This is why reconciliation is seen as a bad option for this type of bill. It is primarily used for budgets and tax cuts, not reform measures.
[re=480902]SayItWithWookies[/re]: If they do that, then they better put the medicare opt-in and the public option back in, otherwise, why go to the trouble?
[re=480856]Extemporanus[/re]: Remeber when Ken hadda “walk off” some of Jim’s writing and ended up walking clear to San Francisco or whatever?
bring back Wario!
This place really[re=480902]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Christ on a stick! Is that for fucking real? It’s like trying to wrap my brain around credit default swaps. …this place really is turning into Idiocracy. Makes me want to go get Buttfuckers hamburger, or Five Guys at least.
[re=480902]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Doesn’t that mean that the precedent will become that filibusters are never allowed? Will 51 Democrats actually support that?
[re=480909]Gopherit[/re]: I agree, but I think Reid and Obama are content to let it pass as-is, though this might be as watered-down as they’re likely to let it go. On the other hand, they might save the nuclear option for when the bill gets out of the conference committee — that’s the really big vote. Right now, it almost doesn’t matter what bill goes out of the Senate, because all the liberal stuff is in the House bill anyway.
Since the bills differ so greatly, it’ll have to go to conference committee, and then back to the House and Senate — the House’ll probably pass theirs easily, but the Senate will probably be impossible without the nuclear option. So I’m hoping that’s the strategy they’re aiming at, and that most of the goodies get put back in, and they blow away the final filibuster attempt.
The sad possibility though is that Reid won’t use the nuclear option. The White House hasn’t been that in favor of a public option, and Reid and Nelson are two peas in a pod on the abortion issue — but I think he’ll have to use it to get a bill passed anyway. And as at-risk as his seat is now, I think Reid’s far less likely to get re-elected if he goes to all this trouble and comes up with bupkus.
It’s time for Democrat Republican Abortion/Gay-zoid Freak Caucus. Some of these ass-clowns are absolutely obsessed with wombs and buttsects. No issue is examined until it’s looked at through these prisms.
Farm subsidies?
Finance reform?
Tax Laws?
Highway funding?
For each of these the very first question seems be: “Does this in any way condone what I believe to be disturbing anal or vaginal penetration of people I don’t even know? If so I vote no.”
It’s getting to the point when I hear the word “Republican” or “Congressman from Nebraska/Kansas/Missouri/Texas I immediately think “gay sex obsessed” and “abortion addled.” Fuckers.
[re=480947]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: From my (limited) understanding, their decision would have the affect of a precedent — but it could be a very narrowly-defined one, maybe limited to bills of a certain size or scope.
It’s not quite the same as the nuclear option as it would’ve been invoked by the Senate Republicans in 2006, under which they were aiming to do away with filibustering any judicial nominee. And anyway, it would only last through the remainder of that Congress.
I call his office at least once a week to respectfully request that he take that stupid thing off his head and go home and lead a quiet life. You should too.
Sen. Ben wants to alt-text little ol’ me? Makes a feller all quivery inside.
But I can understand his trepidation: I once got a bill that included an abortion and the thing took months and months to pay.
[re=480894]JMP[/re]: That is in fact the premise of a very funny novel by Stephen Fry called “Making History”.
[re=480912]SmutBoffin[/re]: I was gonna do the exact same thing.
Then I remembered that I live in San Francisco, so I just walked a few blocks to the bar, hit the massage parlor next door, and then headed back home.
My book chronicling these exploits will be published on Twitter in 5 minutes.
The system is broken. The answer, of course, is to get rid of the Senate. it’s not a representative body, the seats are not apportioned by population so some ass clown representing sixty thousand goat fuckers can bring a country of 300 million to it’s knees.
An alternative fix to this problem is decimation. Have the Senators draw lots and every tenth one is decapitated with his head stuck on a pig pole spaced evenly around our majestic capitol as a reminder to the others the price of craven cowardice.
Worked for the Roman Legions and what’s good enough for the army ought to be good enough for our elected official.
Screw it. With Public Option and the buy in gone, whats left?
Medical Marywanna and life time bottles of Extenz?
B+ for effort Barry.
[re=481114]rocktonsammy[/re]: Insurance for people who don’t have a public administration fetish.
Anyone remember a few years back, oh, when the Republicans had a 55-45 majority in the Senate in 2005 (and a 51 majority in 2002?) and got shit done, in spite of that? Oh, you do? Ok, so why do we keep up this charade that we need 60 votes for every damned thing we do, again? Damnit, folks; we’ve got 60 fucking seats with 9 to spare for anything we want to do.
And, we’re scared of the fucking possibility of a filibuster?! Really? Fuck the GOP; really, just fuck ‘em.
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