Hooray, at exactly 12:47 p.m., it is Winter Solstice! Look outside. Does it look “wintry”? Congratulations, that is how it is supposed to look. And because it’s the shortest day of the year, go ahead and start drinking now. Perfectly legal! [National Geographic, Annapolis Capital]
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Authors
Kaia Mursi (45)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5433)
Wonkette Jr. (628)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6696)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 55 comments }
Sorry, I’m saving my celebrating for the tallest day of the year.
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of Kenya…
…and in this photo, we see the Norse troll-goddess Sjöfn, who rules over her icy domain of the mentally ill and pathologically stupid with her misshapen brood.
She’s an enigma wrapped in a sealskin.
The baby jesus will smite you for your blasphemy, Ken. Everyone knows it’s cold because god is letting the sun rest for a while.
trig palin is doin’ a little dance dis mawnin
[re=482925]Katydid[/re]: Dick III. Nice one.
It’s a cranberry popsicle with an idiot inside!
Today I’m not taking any guff from those “Happy Holidays” people — it’s either happy solstice or I’ll buy my crappy Indonesian electronic toys elsewhere.
I wanted to say “Moosezilla destroys frozen Japanese city,” but the architecture of the ice sculptures is Chinese, and Japanese =/= Chinese and to think so is Racism. Then I realized I think way too much about my Wonkette comments, and really need to get a life.
“Ia Yog-Sothoth! O Keeper of the Gate who art the Gate, O Keeper of the Key who art the Key, who walks between worlds and across centuries, I call upon thee to deliver me forth from this place.”
View Yog Soggoth’s professional profile on LinkedIn. LinkedIn is the world’s largest business network, helping professionals like Yog Soggoth discover …
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[re=482931]SmutBoffin[/re]: Every time I see that picture, I imagine her waiting for the short bus to take her to “special school.” The excitement on her face comes from the dim recollection that school brings her the miracle of fruit punch and graham crackers. They don’t let her see the books. She’d just chew on them.
[re=482933]Mr Blifil[/re]: Pussies, sorry “Slop Holes”
Aurora Moranalis…
There goes Tokyo
I celebrate the winter solstice by ordering up a call girl in that Moosealini costume, i.e., the glasses, the coat, the gloves and NOTHING ELSE.
[re=482949]Gorillionaire[/re]: Boner-killer.
My wife bought my 14-y.o. daughter a coat that looks a lot like that one, and with her similar hair, and similar glasses, you could mistake my daughter for the original snowbilly.
It’s very disturbing to see, but I don’t want to say anything, because my daughter really likes her new winter coat. My teeth will remain gritted this winter.
I never get tired of that picture. Ever, also.
[re=482949]Gorillionaire[/re]: This is sorta how street-walkers dress in Minneapolis.
[re=482939]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Agreed. Today is a fun day for me. I tell all the jooz and jeebus followers “Happy Solstice! All Hail the Goddess!” I even give presents to everyone so they have to say thank you, and no one reports me to HR – even if they do feel vaguely weirded out and “maybe?” offended.
[re=482952]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: You spawned a Snowbilly look-alike? My sincere sympathies, but on the bright side, your daughter already knows more than Snowbilly ever learned or will learn in her greedy, misery-spreading, misbegotten life!
Why do people never celebrate the summer solstice? Solipcism, I say! (That’s like racism, but against celestial bodies that you are not sure even exist.)
[re=482961]Humpback[/re]: I celebrate. That’s when I order up a Dana Perino. Could not find a look-a-like but the actual Dana Perino was suprisingly affordable.
Io Saturnalia! I’m up to my second gin and tonic.
Why do we refer to this day with the foreignery sounding ‘solstice’ word? We should Americanize it and just call it ‘Short Day’. That way more US Americans would understand what it was about.
At last! It’s no longer Fall! Now the weather we’re having is “seasonable”.
[re=482961]Humpback[/re]: Why do people never celebrate the summer solstice?
Oh, come June, I know some hippie drum circles I could introduce you to, out my way. Bring your bongos and you’re in. Bring a djembe (sp?) and you’re in the center.
Well, speaking of winter, the Mayon volcano in the Philippines is about to blow its top, ending global warming as volcanic ash precipitates another ice age. Won’t that be nice?
[re=482961]Humpback[/re]:
Silly American. Midsummer (Summer Solstice) is celebrated all over the civilized world (Norway, Sweden and Finland) Mostly by setting things on fire.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk-8tfdfE3g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfzrv94-jvw
Please, Robby Benson, don’t let this feeling end!
Dies Natalis Solis Invicti! Its the reason for the season!
[re=482967]Cape Clod[/re]: NIce try but it’s not even close to being patriotic enough. I declare that the day shall henceforth be yclept “Winter Freedom Short Day”.
[re=482963]Gorillionaire[/re]: After you finish winding her up. what does she do?
[re=482933]Mr Blifil[/re]: She’s an enigma wrapped in a sealskin…
inside of a sperm whale penis.
[re=482978]NJB[/re]: She answers questions about American history and foreign policy. HA! Just kidding. Can’t even pay her to do that.
She has that look on her face like she’s thinking of touching the sculpture with her tongue.
I double dog dare you Palin.
[re=482980]Gorillionaire[/re]: You tried pulling the string, I assume.
[re=482979]Extemporanus[/re]: That, right there, is why you never see a frowning sperm whale. Apparently at least a few biologists have seen those babies live and up close, and were instantly traumatized.
[re=482969]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Come to any Baltic (Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania) heritage festival in summer here in the US or abroad and it will include either an overt Solstice celebration or “John’s Day”. Like the Nordic idea laid out by Fishskicanoe the centerpiece is an all night bonfire, getting smashed and then trying to jump over said fire. Hilarity is assured! Hippies are generally not welcome, as their stoned drumming screws up the drunken harmonies.
The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said, “Is it true that you’re a witch?”
[re=482961]Humpback[/re]: [re=482971]fishskicanoe[/re]: They also do so in places like Canada where the extra length of the summer days are actually noticable. Usually involves lots of drinking as well as fire, often small watercraft.
[re=482985]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Wetsuit wearing Republican biologists, however, think that they’re totally killer.
[WARNING: Possibly Not Safe for Aquarium]
[re=482970]TGY[/re]: Now there’s a way to celebrate the soltice! Made in the Phillipines Volcano Fireworks.
[re=482997]Extemporanus[/re]: Levi, is that you?
[re=482961]Humpback[/re]: Hey Maate! don’t forget us drunkards at the bung-end of the world, just getting back to the flat frpm drinking myself into summer
HAPPY SUMMER YABLOODY yanks
[re=482974]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: You’re right. Happy Winter Freedom Short Day, Patriots!
Maybe we could bring in some greenery from outside, you know, to celebrate the depth of winter. I have a tree and some branches I could decorate. Nah, it might be considered pagan by some of our friends.
[re=482972]Extemporanus[/re]: Wow, did that obscure reference take me back. (The one to Robby Benson.) Back to a place I never wanted to go again, so thanks a bunch.
[re=482940]Vulpes82[/re]: Don’t we all?
In fairness, those are ice sculptures are wicked awesome.
Wait…what are we talking about?
[re=482942]Gopherit[/re]: Oh, solstice sun! I beseech thee that thou spare me from ever being a Wonkette target.
Todd loves that outfit too.
He lays that woman down, peels layer after layer off of her.
Gets bored and falls asleep.
Heheh Palin looks so cute in that photo.
[re=483015]Bearbloke[/re]: Aye! Throw another roo-steak on the barbie for us mate. Cheers!
[re=482979]Extemporanus[/re]: I think my Craig’s List action is about to get livelier…
Normal Libtard blog. You simply state today is the winter solstice as if it were a fact. There is hardly a scientific consensus that today is the solstice, as if science works according to consensus. You have no proof of this “solstice” thing. It is a well known fact that the sun moves through the sky, and this claim of solstice could just be a part of that natural rhythm. That man can know that it is the solstice is simply a denial of God. After all, how could God make a world where man can know things about the Sun, or the Seasons. They all do what God commands them. Admit it, you just want people to believe it is the “solstice” so that the Government and its “scientist” (and don’t think we haven’t notice that many of them are Jews and Hindus and other non-God believers)can take over our economy. This is right out of Marx through Hitler!
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