HAHAHAHAH: So Jim Newell and Ken Layne wrote the same exact goddamned post — a vague rant about this latest terrorism thing basically being the Sack of Rome — with the same picture, and posted it at the same time. Never forget. [Version One & Version Two]
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Does this mean we will be treated to the Overture to Götterbanhammerungen?
haha. fail.
I liked Ken’s better.
The Sac of Rome? Are we talking about Ratzinger again?
Ken’s has better graphics and profanity. FTW
Whoa hey I thought that was the assignment — I already texted my choice for “Favorite ‘Please Don’t’ Screed” to the America’s got talent vote tabulation accounting center.
Plus Ken’s crop of the main photo shows Kissinger and his horse-faced wife. Winner.
Matter and anti-matter colliding! Aaah!
This is how management rolls where I work. It’s a test to see who’s better. Then fire the sucky one. Times are tough, blame YOUR president and Tiger Woods.
The inevitable result of allowing gay marriage in DC.
[re=485646]pampl[/re]: No, no…that was the SACK of Rome. Our favorite psychotic red emo tackler leads the league in Pope Sacks this year!
[re=485640]Mr Blifil[/re]: That’s NOT how German works. You can’t just tack words onto other words indefinitely and call it a new word. Oh, wait. That’s exactly how German works.
Two men, attached by the same pair of Truck Nutz.
I’m not saying it is gay, but … you should be tossed from the Army. That’s all.
Mizz Wonkette is back!
Let’s be fair. W is sitting behind the flag, which does make it more confusing if you want to hold it up for the cameras. I don’t know if I could have figured it out either.
Shouldn’t that be “Mizz Wonkett”?
[re=485678]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: And he’s holding it upside-down because his ass is where his head should be.
Ken is in California. Jim is in D.C. So Jim’s post was actually here three hours earlier. Because that’s how time zones work.
[re=485681]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Come on, wookies…how many times have you fed paper into the printer and it printed upside down? That can shake a guy’s confidence for life.
I really, truly hate it and despise it when Wonkette is repetitively redundant.
Slow news day, eh?
Isn’t this double posting just another example of the lack of coordination between agencies that allowed Burned Balls on the plane in the first place?
Thank goodness, I thought I had some double vision disease
[re=485681]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Running with your flag upside down is the international maritime symbol for “MAYDAY”
‘W’ was trying to warn us, we were just too pig headed and self absorbed to listen.
That poor, poor misunderestimated man…
[re=485684]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Now you’re the one being unrealistic — if a lifetime of failure can’t shake Dubya’s confidence, nothing can.
Ken’s does include the photo of The Medusa in the bottom right corner, making it a far stonier article.
This is like Nigerian Terrorist Incident I and Nigerian Terrorist Incident II, except that in they were not the same, because in the first one, a guy tried to blow up a plane, and in the second, a guy tried to take a shit on a plane (an equally heinous act, in my opinion). The TSA has now prohibited shitting, and pocket pool or any kind of groin-pulling, in the final hour of all flights. Everyone knows Nigerians cannot ignite their knobs during the first hour of a flight, so we are safe now.
Jonah demands someone should step down.
Newell- get your ginger-ass to writing school, you got worked. Merry Christmas, also.
I’m so ready for the SAC! I have a bunch of Melvins on my hard drive, a sack of clementines and two bottles of whisky! Never forget, also too!
[re=485688]geminisunmars[/re]: …and continually superfluous, also.
This is a good way to address this entire mysterious episode. First some elite highly educated Nigerian get on a flight, goes into the bathroom and does something for a long time (extracting explosives from rectum?) Goes back to his seat, covers up with a blanket and tries to explode his feces with firecrackers. The next day another elite Nigerian goes on the same flight, also not properly screened, goes in the same bathroom, claims to be sick and won’t come out! Is this some form of time travel? Is it related to the large hadron collider? Is reality duplicating itself into multiple dimensions each reality slightly different from the others?
Operation Protectin’ Freedoms will actually pay for itself. We will be supported by a broad coalition of US States and Territories. We should be home by Christmas. We know exactly where the matches are, they are in the North, and the South, and the East, and the West.
Where can I buy 2/3′s of an American flag?
The look on Bush the prettier’s face is priceless but c’mon….everyone should have known that if the guy with a vagina eupemism for a last name was elected president we’d all get fucked. I did like having the two Bush daughters Tangy and Smelly in the news every week doin’ wacky college girl shit and freaking the Secret Service out. Good times.
[re=485716]Ducksworthy[/re]: Is it related to the large hadron collider?
Yes, only they managed to create miniature black assholes. The “ass” was not part of the original specification.
As far as the double-post, I figured it was the new Editorial Hegemony that will characterize the new decade.
So, is Miz Wonkette the editor of this internet-rag? If so, she let both slip through, so it’s her fault. But if she’s just the ombudsperson, acting as the empowered voice of the readers, well, “Thanks?”
[re=485681]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Given that flying the flag upsidedown is an international distress signal, I actually give W some kudos for being candid about our situation for once.
Think Firecrotch The Terrorist is showing off his scare in prison. Kind of a conversation piece.
[re=485710]BigDupa[/re]: Are you suggesting that “writing school” can improve someone’s writing? Maybe I just went to the wrong one…
[re=485694]dijetlo[/re]: No wonder the people of Yemen have been having trouble with their mayday signal, have you seen their flag?
My take away of this is that Jim’s post was meant exclusively for gingers.
Greetings and Salutations!
I am Barrister Lionel Hutz, who has been hired by the son of a Nigerian Banker to get him a visa to the United States. Unfortunately, in this current environment, it has been very hard to get the paper work approved.
My client is in need of visiting your wonderful country in order to procure 72 virgins. If you can help us, I have been directed by my client to offer you a reward of one third (24) of the virgins, of your picking.
Of course, per the Koran, we must make sure that you are worthy of such a special reward. As such, we must ask you to first send us your name, address, phone number, mother’s maiden name, social security number, bank account numbers, credit card numbers and a head shot so that we can do a full background check. Once we have this information, we will immediately begin the transfer of the virgins to you.
I hope that you will be able to help us and to be rewarded so greatly.
Yours, very sincerely,
Lionel Hutz Esq.
Barrister, Nigerian Supreme Court of Law.
[re=485716]Ducksworthy[/re]: You mean they’re each a manifestation of the Higgs Bozo coming back to prevent itself from coming back? It’s like Groundhog Day at the Event Horizon.
Holy Firecracker-in-my-poop. Just as I was typing that, the power mysteriously went out, interrupting my multi-dimentional line of thought. SPOOKY. (The fact that it’s snowing hard enough that I can’t see 100 feet out the window is irrelevant.)
Clearly, we need to restrict all travel to one flight a day with Dick Cheney and a cage full of quail on board. Won’t be nobody popping up outta their seats on that plane.
QA&QC is for commies
[re=485740]Flanders[/re]: Setting your junk on fire is the rarely used back up signal.
[re=485721]S.Luggo[/re]: On Canal Street.
In fairness to Jim and Ken, it should be noted that Politico did about fourty-leven articles on Parker Griffith’s party switch.
[re=485755]depraved indifference engine[/re]: On E-Bay there’s a recent retiree who relocated from DC to Dallas last January. He says that he was one, but he thinks it’s printed upside down. Should I buy?
or was Jim writing a snarky parody of Ken’s post?
Didn’t we all have to Mizz Wonkette long enough over the so-called holiday weekend?!
So Nigerian #2 was in the bagno “with the nuns”? We let nuns fly on planes now? Only in Amsterdam!
I warned you two about regifting.
Love how the journos keep desicribing how “mild mannered” Firecrotch The Terrorist is. Well, if your man sac melted away like butter you’d be pretty “mild mannered” yourself.
To whom I owe the leaping delight
that quickens my senses in wakingtime
and the rhythm that governs the repose of our sleepingtime
the breathing in unison
of lovers whose bodies smell of each other
who think the same thoughts without the need of speech
and babble the same speech without need of meaning…
T.S. Eliot knows it and now we do too. Best to you both in 2010, and here’s hoping you can find a state that will allow your union.
[re=485731]Cape Clod[/re]: “Given that flying the flag upsidedown is an international distress signal, I actually give W some kudos”
Uhh, he calls himself “M”.
This doesn’t end well.
[re=485748]oldguy[/re]: By George, I think you’re on to something:
The Dick Cheney & Quail Cage Solution.
[Remind me, what happens to cabin pressure when the shell is punctured at 30,000 feet?] Seems like a win either way, whether the plane lands safely or explodes into shrapnel whilst Cheney is aboard. Well OK, there’s that deaths-of-innocent bysitters thing, not to mention the loss of an expensive plane. But on the other hand, Cheney sent to his just reward is an appealing prospect.
The entire world almost ends and Wonkette only has two posts? The only way this could have been a bigger story was if it had been Tiger Woods on fire and there was video of his wife putting out the flames with a golf club.
[re=485795]S.Luggo[/re]: I don’t think you should seriously consider buying the retiree in Dallas. They’re not really collectors items, and most have serious issues that aren’t reported in the listing. If you do, make sure to have a full inspection done.
“an embarrassment of riches”
I’m a little late to this party so I’m reading all three posts in three different browser windows at the same time.
Oh man I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks. Grandpa Pat was on the teevee saying we should torture the s.o.b, forever. Also.
I’m sure the folks at WND and Red State now have a good high from all the magicmarker faxes they’ve sent to Obama over the weekend.
[re=485706]Prommie[/re]: Detroit is safe now. [/fixed]
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