Tucker Carlson’s fabled journalism Internet is finally getting published on Monday! “The Daily Caller” is going to be like Huffington Post – Alec Baldwin + Tucker Carlson x Tucker Carlson. How much news will it contain? Millions of news! Carlson can afford to buy all the journalism, thanks to the ace PowerPoints of his business partner, some former Cheney aide, who explains, “We were very lucky to get the amount of money we did [$3 million] based, basically, on a PowerPoint.”
What does $3 million and a succession of PowerPoint slides get you these days? Reports Dave Weigel:
According to Carlson, there will be at least one editor monitoring and posting stories “24 hours a day, around the clock, in the office.” The top story of the moment will run at the top of the page, with more content running beside it. Stories written by the magazine’s reporting team, which includes Washington Times veteran Jon Ward and Government Executive’s Gautham Nagesh, will be cycled in, marked as “DC Exclusives,” much the way that stories by Huffington Post reporters trade space with headlines that link to stories from other publications. A staff blog — possible names include “Caller ID” and “The Daily Trawler” — will indulge in more humor, some of it written by long-time conservative blogger Jim Treacher (real name Sean Medlock) who moved to Washington from Indianapolis after Carlson gave him a call. And an iPhone app is on the way.
Remember to save Monday’s copy of the Internet to show your grandkids and their pet robots!
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{ 76 comments }
I bet he’s the first blogger to ever wear a bow tie to work.
Millions of news! How will I be able to fit that into the 3.5 terrabytes already infecting my brain?
What the world needs now is another dilettante-produced vanity project like I need a hole in the head.
Also, the page should have an animated spinning bow tie at the top, ala Breakdancing Steele. Just sayin’.
Powerpoint contributed to the destruction of the space shuttle. So there you go.
http://www.edwardtufte.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg?msg_id=0001yB
“The Daily Trawler”
Yes. Please name it that.
What’s the over/under on when the comment sections get invaded by folks screaming about “darkies” and ACORN?
His next move in the picture on the right is to jab his knee in her back and beat her senseless, because she looks like all the girls who would never talk to him in high school.
An iPhone app is on the way? That and a ticket to Minneapolis will get you a blowjob from Larry Craig in the men’s room (now that the heat’s off). My favorite part: “The top story of the moment will run at the top of the page, with more content running beside it.” INNOVATIVE!!1! Usually conservative media empires place the top story along the perineum, and the content dribbles down the thigh. Why does Tucker want to make Breitbart cry. I hate it when young scions get all catty and fight.
Hey I wonder if “just like Huffington Post” they will attempt to allow reader comments. If so, I hope “Jim Treacher” (real name Jim Felcher) is looking forward to giving up some of his humorific indulgence to spend time preventing that shit from turning into Trucknutz Central. Wait, lemme guess, there’s no PowerPoint slide on paying anybody to monitor the comments.
i hope they link to Newsbusters. those guys are hil.ar.ious
[re=490502]magic titty[/re]: “The Daily Tucker” sounds a bit too much like a blog for transvestite fashion tips which, come to think of it, isn’t too far off.
Online is the way to go for Tucker. That way we don’t have to look at his smarmy, arrogant “I’ve never had to work a day in my life because my mommy is rich but have no problem looking down on the rest of you slobs” smirk. But, on the bright side, he’ll never live down Jon Stewart’s take down!
will indulge in more humor, some of it written by long-time conservative blogger Jim Treacher
Someone needs to tell the conservatards that “conservative” and “humor” basically amount to
“epic” and “fail”
So this is going to be more full of fail than Pajamas Media?
What the interwebs needs now are more clueless coservative bloggers. What they have another? Who? Tucker Carlson?
I guess one way not to get fired from you job is to be your own boss.
A right-wing version of the Huffington Post – um, the Politico already pretty much does that. And, just like the Huffington Post and Politico, this should be utterly useless.
Considering Tucker’s long history of failure, anyone have bets on how long until this does belly-up?
[re=490524]JMP[/re]: Failure is a relative term. After all, they did get some sucker to give them $3 Mil for a powerpoint.
I’ll bet $1 that they spend more on office furniture than IT parts.
[re=490496]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: Man sized of these: Link text?
[re=490529]rottenart[/re]: So the $3mill is one of the green shoots in the new world order?
Which Tucker will work for this, I wonder? The vainglorious, smarmy, bow-tied rich brat from Crossfire and MSNBC, or the wide-eyed war correspondant and O’Reilly detractor who is constantly befuddled that the world outside the beltway does not conform to the easy contours outlined in Cato Institute brunches.
Also, the comedy section should be called “The Tucker Tickler”. IT IS SO!
[re=490541]Franklin Pierce & Pierce[/re]: That sounds like a condom.
[re=490536]Pithaughn[/re]: Today, we are all trust fund media whores.
Oh boy. More conservatards taking a crack at this humor thing they’ve heard so much about. This should turn out well.
Lemmee get this straight, comic Sean Medlock changes his name to Jim Treacher…WTF? Does this guy write knock-knock jokes? If you’re changing your name, don’t you change it to something like Eagle Savage or Xavier Onassis?
[re=490516]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: True dat. Once a dick…
The Daily Caller? Does that mean stalker or just annoying and needy?
Tucker don’t need no Power Point. He could finance the whole thing with frozen dinners.
Half of that money came from Microsoft for them to say “Powerpoint” as often as possible.
Finally, there’s a news outlet that’s compatible with the rich, white conservative viewpoint. All those liberal publications such as the WaPo, WSJ, Politico, Washington Times, TheFoxNation and all the others will be shaking at the advent of this new paradigm.
Oh, what a Web site this will be, condenscending posts written by smug, trust-fund jerk followed by illiterate, gibberish comments written in ALL CAPS.
It’s not funny, you guys! Michael Steele could have really used that $3 million to make improvements on the GOP website.
THE DAILY CALLER, brought to you by TruckNutz.
[re=490518]Gopherit[/re]: Is that even possible?
Wonkette’s got me so confused this morning. I thought the point of the Rudy-on-Larry-King piece was to remind us that old people are ugly. Now you give us these pix, which prove that “young” people are even uglier. Or should that be young “people”?
[re=490524]JMP[/re]: Aw c’mon, don’t you think calling the Huffington Post “useless” is a tad bit harsh? HuffPo frequently posts pictures of beautiful, scantily clad women, both famous and unknown.
Where else are you gonna find that on the internet?
[re=490588]chaste everywhere[/re]: Don’t let the botox fool you; Tucker’s 40, hardly young anymore. His brain, however, alternates between 85 and 6.
[re=490529]rottenart[/re]: Boo, never underestimate the mind control capability of a well done power point presentation. Especially if it contains animations…wow! I’ve watched people spend more on less based on one of those things and some statistical confabulation that I’d rather not go into before the statute of limitations expires on that scam.
The entire internet bubble of the late 90′s was based on power point slides and jolt cola…a potent combination that the world is better off without.
If Tucker will continue to confine his journalistic efforts to an easily avoided web site, I promise to buy more of his step-moms frozen TV dinners and feed them to my rottweiler, who is the only creature I’m familiar with voracious enough to consume one.
[re=490598]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I get all my porn from HuffPo.
Oh, Swanson, what have ye done!
[re=490598]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: The funny thing is, while I’ve made fun of Huffington Post’s uselessness (not to mention it’s support of bullshit fake medicine) in front of my conservative friends, they continue to assume that as a liberal I must be a fan. It’s almost as if they think we’re a hivemind, like they are.
Let me get this straight: The top story will run at the top of the page? Innovative!
Speaking of the Butt Sex, isnt this what Dan Abrams did last year??
[re=490598]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah, it shows once again some sort of conservative cognitive dissonance in that they think HuffPo is some sort of progressive news making & muckraking journal with significant sway in both liberal circles and the media. The reality is that most of it’s hits come from celebrity news and pictures of scantily clad bimbos. So if Tucker really wants to compete, then his site will have to go All Lohan all the time.
[re=490651]sezme[/re]: And more content running beside the top story? Wow. That is not only innovative, it’s unprecedented!!
I too look forward to the elevated discussions that will take place on the Daily Crawler’s comments section. It is evident that the filth that appears so regularly on this site is deterring right minded americans from participating in the Wonkette discussions.
I am somewhat disturbed however by the description of Carlson and Neil Patel sitting around their DuPont Circle office discussing the “growing aspirations” as it is well known that aspirations is how young conservatives (and 40 is about as “young” as conservatives ever get) refer to the “johnstons”. I did enjoy Ana Marie Cox’s tongue in cheek praise of Carlson’s creativity, however. But not enough to dispel the image of Carlson and Patel stroking each others aspirations.
Is it going to be like Briefart’s Big Hollywood and complain how the MSM is all liberal and gay all day?
If it’s going to be Huffpo-like, then I assume it will contain red 1200 pt font headlines about nothing.
For $3M you’d better have the best clip-art evar!
Please let Tucker write a breaking news item called “The Hot Carlson.”
Monday? I’m salivating on my shoes.
[re=490611]dijetlo[/re]: I dunno, Jolt will do in a pinch if your local meth dealer sets himself on fire. Of course, now we have Cocaine (the other one) so we’ll all be fine as we’re thinking up new, uber-awesome internet ventures like The Daily Carlsoningtonian-Picayune-Tattler.
“The Daily Caller” sounds like a euphemism for a stalker.
Tucker + Treacher = HALF HOUR NEWS HOUR – laff-track
[re=490502]magic titty[/re]: How ’bout The Daily Troll?
[re=490600]JMP[/re]: Anyone born the year I started into college will always seem young to me. But no doubt you’re right about the Botox; I prefer detox, which helps explain why I don’t look as young as Tucker C. will when he’s my age (assuming he doesn’t DailyCall himself to death).
[re=490504]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You are assuming the first published story isn’t about darkies and ACORN?
[re=490703]rottenart[/re]:
Cocaine was pulled from U.S. shelves as a result of the FDA’s decision that Cocaine “was illegally marketing the drink as both a street drug alternative and a dietary supplement
Did it make you grin all the time and grind your teeth?
“The Daily Trawler” — will indulge in more humor….
MORE??!!1
Like the photo — looks like a Real Husband of Orange County trying to pull his wife off a golf pro.
It kind of looks like she’s holding Tucker’s enormous, invisible choad.
Actually, Tucker Carlson is an enormous, invisible choad.
Oh, man, if this is HALF as funny as the 1/2 Hour News Hour, it’ll be a quarter as funny as a Bob Hope TV special, circa 1979.
[re=490611]dijetlo[/re]: You kids and your high-caffeine “energy drinks.” You know what else has the caffeine of a Jolt Cola? This new drug/beverage called “coffee.” Wash down a couple No-Doz with a nice cuppa Joe from Waffle House, and save five bucks.
[re=490551]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Someone has to fill the gap, now that the Jeff Dunham show is canceled. How else will real America survive without it’s weekly dose of racist puppet humor?
Who’s the chick?
[re=490758]Lazy Media[/re]:
“You take Sally,
I’ll take Sue,
There ain’t no difference
Between the two,
COCAINE,
Runnin’ all around my brain.”
[re=490795]TGY[/re]: Oh, Elena Grinenko. I might have known.
[re=490778]Cicada[/re]:
Jeff Dunham got cancelled?!? Ye gods, how is this miracle even possible? Every average Joe idiot I know thinks Dunham’s just a hoot and a half.
Now only the hi-larious Mallard Fillmore stands between Tuckerz Trawlerz and the Crown of Conservatard Comedy.
[re=490825]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Fortunately, while it started off to Comedy Central’s best ratings ever, they soon went downhill fast. Turns out the racist puppets couldn’t sustain ongoing interests. It restores one’s faith in America a bit; and it’s always good to see bad things happen to bad people.
[re=490845]JMP[/re]: One would think the fact he could only come up with a new joke and/or puppet every 6.5 years might have tipped off a studio head or two.
I know raging homosexuals who can handle a woman with more tenderness, grace, and manly passion on the dance floor than Tucker Carlson does in these eye bleach-worthy photos. That’s apropos nothing in particular, but it came to mind immediately.
[re=490926]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Wait, are you saying Tucker Carlson is NOT a raging homosexual?
Jim Treacher is known for his sense of humor.
Needs more Gutfeld.
I would have gone with “The Gentleman Caller” (with a gray bowtie logo). “Courting Your Opinion Since 2010″
why is Mr. Carlson hurting that lady?
Sorry, no time for stupid right wing “news”.
[re=490531]Pithaughn[/re]: A wood panelled office lends you much more respect than laptops and PJs on the sofa. It also provides desk space for imporant teletype machines, faxes, stock tickers and 3 separate telephones (one ideally a red hotline to something).
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