“ECONOMY” GROWS AT HILARIOUS PACE: Ha ha ha GDP grew 5.7% during the last quarter of 2009, just like in the good old days, when people had jobs. How healthy does this economy sound: the major reason for growth was that “businesses reduced inventories less aggressively.” Stupid move, businesses. It’s not like anyone’s going to buy your shit. [Reuters]
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“businesses reduced inventories less aggressively.”
Businesses once shot their inventories just to watch them die. Now they just slap them around a little.
Must have something to do with the sale of all those iPads.
Well that is good news! Time to buy a new car like a Toyota, Saturn, Hummer, Schwinn…
Fortunately businesses continued to aggressively reduce their inventory of employees.
The economic turnaround was lead by a surge in sales of wiretapping tools and fake phone repair guy outfits; thus, the irony.
Must be from all those census workers fianlly being able to afford hobo beans.
Business better hurry up and make more money.
The 2012 election is going to buy itself.
This is great news for John McCain cause now he can say “See? Thank God you idiots didn’t elect me. Now vote to keep me in the senate before I get any more big ideas.”
Webcam porn will save us all.
What country is this? China?
Interestingly enough, 5.7% of the GDP is approximately the amount that Wall Street paid itself in bonuses.
Hey, I’m laid off and I’m buying shit! Shitty food, shitty clothes for my children, etc. Did you know you can buy food at dollar stores? Mmmm, melamine.
Thank Jesus for the Bush Recovery!
Those Haitian orphans we picked up were a great deal. Got to work fast, not like lazy American orphans.
Of course businesses reduced their inventories less aggressively. Due to municipal budget cuts, the garbagemen only come around twice a month now.
[re=504111]Paul Tardy[/re]: They never say,”Please sir, may I have some more?” They’ve never had much.
“businesses reduced inventories less aggressively.”
What the hell does that even MEAN?
We are so freakin’ doomed.
“Reduced inventory”? Doesn’t that mean “sold stuff”? I guess it could mean “gave stuff away,” but if profits are up, then I’m more inclined to believe it means “sold stuff.”
I usually assume that businessspeak is designed to couch bad news in confusing terms, but it seems like they just might be trying to couch good news in confusing terms here, and heaven knows why. Apparently American business is just as willing to report its bad news as it is its good news, which means not only is American business honest, it’s also stupid.
I wonder how much Wells Fargo paid that economist Silvia to conclude that “we don’t have an economic boom here.” Next he’ll be telling us that the Chicago Cubs won’t be in next year’s Super Bowl.
[re=504147]Larry McAwful[/re]: I’m pretty sure “reducing inventories less agressively” means that when you go to the teevee store they have 10 teevees you can choose from instead of the usual 5 they’ve had for the past year. Of course two years ago, they had 50, ergo the reduction to 5 was an “aggressive reduction of inventory.”
But I’m in the hotel business, so what to I know? Can somebody tell me how to reduce the number of rooms I have, to lower my overhead costs? Short of arson, that is. That one’s already been done at my location; I think if it happens again, the cops and insurers might get suspicious.
[re=504205]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Pass rumors that some rooms are haunted. “We could let you have room #356, but the last tenant was never seen again except for his boxers…” Write them off as ‘spiritual occupational hazard areas’ et voila!
[re=504223]TGY[/re]: Now THAT’s a creative solution! LOL.
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