Gawker has found a short but delicious profile of New York Times misogynist neckbeard holy warrior-columnist Ross Douthat, from his days at mean old Harvard. Here’s a fun pargraph! “His room is adorned with posters of Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe – stars from Hollywood’s glamour heyday – as well as a towering tribute to Gladiator. ‘I think that Russell Crowe’s evocation of manhood is something all men should aspire to,’ he explains, ‘particularly when there are such obvious parallels between Rome and the United States, with the combination of splendor and decadence of Empire.’” Jesus… OH WE GET IT… you were trying to play matchmaker with David Brooks when you hired Ross Douthat, weren’t you, sneaky New York Times? [Harvard Crimson via Gawker]
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- New York Times Finally Hires New Bill Kristol
{ 111 comments }
Does everyone realize this guy is gay? Because he is, right? Am I the last one on earth to know this? Not that it’s a bad thing….
Nobody good ever came out of Harvard.
Move Over, Limbaugh? The chiropractic lobby must have funded that story.
American meritocracy has been dead for a long time (perhaps it was never alive), but a story like this is like urinating on its grave.
It’s 1:30pm, and only three posts today? One of which is recycled from Gawker last week? Grammy hangover, or what?
[re=505192]JooJoo Bee[/re]: This guy is like the tyrannical short guy with an archtypal little man’s complex blindingly obvious to everyody except said little man. Except his little man’s complex is teh gay.
And he also has a very, very sexy column in today’s Times about sex, and teenagers. Basically, he says that if you tell them not to have sex, they have it anyway, and if you tell them not to have unprotected sex, they do it anyway unprotected, so why bother.
That gladiator shit is so gay.
Oh, Mrs. Doubtfire, always with the insightful observations!
Referring to “Gladiator” to evoke the parallels between Rome and the USA? Does that mean we should look to Spain to find our true leader?
What, Ross is too hip for a Judy Garland shrine? Actually, I want to know what the “towering tribute” to Gladiator was — I’m betting it wasn’t a movie poster.
Goddammit! I had to replace most of the blown circuitry in my gaydar after reading that.
The next sentence reads “Ross scanned the Variety headlines and caught the blurry, long distance photo of Liza exiting the rehab center. “Why can’t they just leave that poor woman alone!?” he shreiked, covering his face with the back of his hand and fleeing from the room.”
In answer to your excellent alt-text Jim; Gladiator.
Douchehat
[re=505211]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
This is Douthat we’re talking about. Odds are it wasn’t “towering” either.
Yes, the drive for vengance of a man whose family was slaughtered is the template for us all.
Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and Russell Crowe as Gladiator??!!??? Jeezus, why not just hang a rainbow flag on your door? Well, it so happens that the NYT building is not too far from Townhouse bar, and since he plans to be a *rich* writer (rather than a good or profound one), he’ll be able to afford the rent boys there.
Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Ross: No sir, I’ve never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”
This is tangential, but I really wish someone would put a definitive end to this this “the U.S. is just like ancient Rome” decadence canard. Has there ever been a more boring received idea?
Also, what’s up with these young conservatives and their seeming inability to reference anything other than “Braveheart” and “Gladiator”?
[re=505222]norbizness[/re]: Ross, do you like movies about gladiators?
Orginal Title.
Move Over Limbaugh, You’re Hogging the Duvet Again.
[re=505224]One Yield Regular[/re]: Actually, if you happen to read “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” you will notice some striking parallels. Beginning with Gibbons reference to the “present troubles in the American colonies” and the fact that the author clearly attributes the downfall of Rome to the Christians.
They forgot to mention his huge collection of original cast recording LPs. And the gay porn.
[re=505223]FMA[/re]: Something tells me Ross HAS seen a grown man naked…
What Republicans do wrong in governance echoes in punditry.
Maybe this is because I went to a public school, but I thought every undergraduate room was required by law to have a Bob Marley poster, a Jim Belushi poster, or a poster of some ladies making out.
I think that Russell Crowe’s evocation of manhood is something all men should aspire to
Yeah sure, Mr.Doughy McFlabbenstein. Looks like you’re aspiring pretty hard there yourself.
I suppose every man I know must be a failure then since none of them happen to be Roman generals, maniacal sword-wielding gladiators, or shitty, one-dimensional actors starring in grossly overrated movies.
[re=505194]Come here a minute[/re]: You say nobody good ever came out of Harvard? What about evil war dwarf Henry Kissinger?
Okay, bad example.
What about serial philandering war-starter John F Kennedy?
All right, I give up.
Like I said before..
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/101002307-Emo-Douthat-Dreams-of-Cock?offset=8&owner=chugs
[re=505224]One Yield Regular[/re]: Also, Red Dawn and Top Gun.
[re=505227]Ducksworthy[/re]: I know, I know, but today it’s just used by docile people as a convenient excuse for letting everything go to rot.
Is anyone else watching the live youtube interview? Hopey talkin’ bout health care.
http://www.youtube.com/citizentube?feature=ticker#p/c/EB843ABAF59735FD
[re=505234]V572625694[/re]: One more: I believe our beloved Mother K Smith is a Hahvahd grad. So there’s that.
wow, that really is the gayest thing I’ve ever read.
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?” -Captain Oveur.
I wore striped bell-bottoms with an upside-down stars and stripes patch sewn on the ass-cheek, in college. But I think I can forgive this douchehat.
Sure, there are parallels between Rome and the U.S.
They were both the greatest power in the world.
They both fell apart.
Supreme power doesn’t last forever, you know.
“I am Fartacus!”
so… so… he’s a… a wahabbist, right?
[re=505242]gurukalehuru[/re]: They both liked “The Jerry Springer Show” also.
Does he like fishsticks?
[re=505194]Come here a minute[/re]: Al Franken in a Harvard grad. David Halerstam, also.
After rubbing one out to the grim visage of Maximus, he gestured to the pathetic puddle of mangoo on his dorm floor, cast his glance toward Audrey and Marilyn, and howled with all the basso profundo he could muster, “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?”
[re=505235]El Pinche[/re]: Brilliant.
Halberstam, my B is stuck. Anyway, he was good.
“I regard myself as a conservative in the aesthetic sense,”he muses.”
Which means “I like cock”
[re=505235]El Pinche[/re]: 6 motherfuckin stars, bro.
[re=505227]Ducksworthy[/re]:
[Gibbon] clearly attributes the downfall of Rome to the Christians
Yes, Gibbon does piss all over the Christians, but his basic line is that civilizations have a life span, like people–there is youth, middle age, old age and death. That stood out in my mind, because it puts an end to all speculation and fake explanation and rationalization for the decline and fall of the US. Right now we’re in the death throes. It’s natural and inevitable and why fight it? So now I don’t have to feel bad about not voting in the next presidential election. I’m just gonna sit there like old king log and watch all the poisons in the swamp HATCH OUT (paraphrased from Emperor Claudius).
Alt-Text FAIL! There was, is, and never will be a ‘spot’ when it comes to that fucktard and masturbation.
C’mon people, he’s totally straight; we all know the reason he freaked out while making out with the chubbier Reese Witherspoon and ran out was being horrified at the thought she might not end up knocked up, as all straight men would.
[re=505224]One Yield Regular[/re]: Now, they also love to reference “Red Dawn” and “300″. They love anything where the commie / brown menage gets defeated by the young, tough manly men, preferably wearing skimpy clothes that show off their big, strong macho muscles and the glistening sweat they work up while thrusting their long, hard swords or guns with great skill and strength.
[re=505225]imissopus[/re]: dammit, I should read previous comments once and a while.
Jeepers, he accomplished a lot while working on his Bachelor of Douchebag.
He went to college?
[re=505231]SmutBoffin[/re]: Actually it is JOHN Belushi wearing a “College” shirt, Bob Marley and a combination/ variation of the hanging cat (Friday’s Coming) The dogs playing cards and one of those Spencer’s Gifts black light posters for when things get, you know, freaky.
[re=505257]JMP[/re]: He must be straight ‘cuz he’s glad he ate her. [rimshot] thank you thank you, I’ll be here all week.
[re=505257]JMP[/re]: From Ross Douthat, Privilege, bottom of p. 184:
One successful foray ended on the guest bed of a high school friend’s parents, with a girl who resembled a chunkier Reese Witherspoon drunkenly masticating my neck and cheeks. It had taken some time to reach this point–”Do most Harvard guys take so long to get what they want?” she had asked, pushing her tongue into my mouth. I wasn’t sure what to say, but then I wasn’t sure this was what I wanted. My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas, threatened my ability to. I was supposed to be excited, but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business… and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered–”You know, I’m on the pill…”
Now is that gay, or what?
[re=505254]bitchincamaro[/re]: [re=505251]donner_froh[/re]: Today, I am Beyonce.
[re=505256]Snarkalicious[/re]: Grammar FAIL!
Lying, laziness and ineptitude could never get him fired from the NY Times. He’s one of their prize “conservative” columnists, after all. But the discovery of the Harvard Crimson profile is the “smoking gun” that may do the trick. Don’t you have to be an out gay to write for the Times? Fire his ass.
What’s his favorite song? I’m guessing “It’s Raining Men.”
Yes Yes. I too had a towering iron phallus in my dorm room but mostly to keep my geh roommates occupied ( terrified)
“Not no more it ain’t!”
[re=505264]Aurelio[/re]: To prove his heterosexuality, Ross will point to the huge crushes he had on Cher and Madonna as a kid.
[re=505269]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Along with Abba’s “Dancing Queen”.
[re=505192]JooJoo Bee[/re]:
Yeah, pretty much all they left out of that description is his extensive collection of Judy Garland and show tunes albums.
[re=505250]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: Awesome!
How does he not acknowledge his gayness?
The words “‘I love my boyfriend and I want to marry him” roll off his tongue with ease, apparently:
http://www.observer.com/2009/media/n1-panel-cat-got-douthats-tongue-topic-gay-marriage
At n+1 Panel, the Cat Got Douthat’s Tongue on Topic of of Gay Marriage
[re=505215]freakishlystrong[/re]: Really? Too obviously. I was thinking “Cabaret” or maybe “All That Jazz”.
[re=505264]Aurelio[/re]:
Closeted and self-loathing gay conservative.
[re=505282]JesusButter[/re]: I think the posters and gushing about Crowe’s manliness are a tacit acknowledgement. How long before they try and de-gay him?
Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained?! Is it not why you are here?
Underneath the Marilyn poster: Fight Fiercely Harvard! http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B001U2HSHA.jpg
So how DOES one pronounce that name anyway? Do-that? Doubt-hat? Dooth-at?
Another Harvard man – John Lithgow. Just sayin’.
In the alleged “profile,” more like a blurred thumbnail, he admits that he likes being the conservative because he gets to be the only one saying that silly stuff. He’s in it for the attention. Crowe’s poster was there for the libido, and distant, mythological Audrey and Marilyn for the unresolved mother issues.
[re=505255]Aurelio[/re]: As I recall, the hero of the decline and fall was one Flavius Claudius Julianus (was he a good Claudian) who tried to restore paganism. He is my model for how to handle these latter days of the present empire.
[re=505265]El Pinche[/re]: Almost perfect, but needs more dancing penis bananas.
[re=505300]Gorillionaire[/re]: Fred “Herman Munster” Gwynne,also.
[re=505310]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: but what doesn’t, really?
People who go to Harvard f’ing weird, as in spastic pure bred dog weird.
[re=505235]El Pinche[/re]: Red State will be sending piles of Stallone Cuts.
(http://wonkette.com/411607/redstate-about-to-blow-olympia-snowes-mind)
[re=505302]Ducksworthy[/re]: I agree. We should push polytheism, which is a very tolerant religious view, and persecute the shit out of the Cylon monotheists.
[re=505279]JMP[/re]: Along with Abba’s “Dancing Queen”.
This is obviously good news for John McCain.
Is Douthart French for douchebag?
[re=505263]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Knock knock. Who’s there? Gladiator. Gladiator who? Gladiator out before the gang bang, da da da da, when I was younger, and in my prime, I used to gang bang all the time, . . .
[re=505264]Aurelio[/re]: gayer than the volleyball scene in top gun!
um, I can’t speak for all straight guys, but usually too much vodka doesn’t prevent us from banging fatties. In fact it facilitates it. And if it does, somehow get in the way, this isn’t how it happens. But hell, drinking never got in the way of me and a girl, fattie or otherwise. blow, sure.
We has an empire?
[re=505255]Aurelio[/re]: I have a theory that rather than old age, the US is like a former child star now in his/her late teens or twenties: once we were a colossus with lots of money taking care of the rest of the family, but we invested badly and the money’s gone. Meanwhile we’ve lost our cuteness, ratings plummeted, the show got cancelled, and we can’t gracefully slide into adult roles. So we’re bitter and pissed off. It remains to be seen whether we can transition into adulthood but accept that instead of the lead role we might just be part of an ensemble on some CW show, or if we’ll be poor, work as security guards for eighteen bucks an hour, and occasionally show up in the news for a DUI or domestic disturbance charge.
[re=505347]imissopus[/re]: So we should be perp-walked on TMZ any day now, right?
[re=505313]Doglessliberal[/re]: Last night’s Michael Jackson tribute on the Grammys? Oh, wait.
[re=505347]imissopus[/re]: Gawd, what a horrifying analogy that makes us Gary Coleman or, gulp, Dana Plato.
[re=505236]Radiotherapy[/re]: ” Also, Red Dawn and Top Gun.”
WOLVERINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
Sorry. That just slipped out. My bad.
(And speaking of GayDar: In “Top Gun,” the “Rear” (i.e., Radar Intercept Officer) was nicknamed “Goose” because that’s what Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer liked to do to him.
CHECK YOUR SIX!!!!!)
[re=505369]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: bwaahahahahahaha
[re=505347]imissopus[/re]: Meanwhile we’ve lost our cuteness. That is certainly true. We used to be adorable but now we are punching out our fans and committing domestic violence, like Gary Coleman.
Who says pompadours are out of fashion?
I’m always titillated by anyone who would decry an increase in teenage pregnancies specifically because it gives all them dirty libruls a “a grim sort of satisfaction” about all the fuss they raised over abstinence-only sex-ed programs.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/01/opinion/01douthat.html
Obviously, people blog, or protest, or write hot-headed comments on sites like this, do so solely because they want to prove prigs like Douthat wrong. Too bad for the teen mothers who were magically cajoled into pregnancy for the specific purpose of discrediting social conservatives, but that’s just how ACORN operates.
Video story recently on MSNBC:
“U.S. debt too big for National Debt Clock”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/27051006#27051006
I think I haz a sad.
[re=505440]give us a bob[/re]: Ugh, wrong thread.
Just because a bloak has a Harvard degree and spews out 3000 words each week doesn’t make him a decent writer.
Too bad the NY Times and Post haven’t learned that.
[re=505347]imissopus[/re]:
The Todd Bridges/MacCauly Culkin of nations?
[re=505405]Aurelio[/re]: And robbing banks like Rip Torn, because that’s where all the money used to be.
[re=505235]El Pinche[/re]: sheer genius, there. Not to mention frighteningly hypnotic. If I were on acid, that would be one total freakout.
He’s precocious
and he knows just what it takes to make a pro blush
all the girls think that he’s a gay guy
he’s got Andrew Breitbart eyes…
[re=505391]Neilist[/re]: Thats the least Gay comment I have seen you post.
The strategically positioned,lightly bristled goatee is there to lightly stimulate the area around which he’s pressing his lips against and flicking his tongue into, right? And that area would be?
Whatever happened to Fay Wray?
That delicate satin-draped frame . . .
As it clung to her thigh,
How I started to cry
Cuz I wanted to be dressed . . . just the same . . .
[re=505577]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Oh, Suds . . . you SAVAGE!
Hey, if the animal was gay, would it be . . .
VELVETINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Or something?)
[re=505347]imissopus[/re]: … and occasionally show up in the news for a DUI or domestic disturbance charge — or when we endorse the former governor of Alaska for president. FIXED.
One of teh gayez says what? (cough)
[re=505300]Gorillionaire[/re]: John Lithgow isn’t gay, dummy.
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