Early 2010 comedy meme Harold Ford Junior’s testing-the-waters strategy of “fuck up at least one interview per day” found the starving Merrill Lynch anti-candidate on the Colbert Report last night, where he behaved like the most uncomfortable shitsack politician ever to appear on television during a 2/1/10 11:30 ET basic cable timeslot. Is he one of those people who likes Colbert because he thinks his conservative caricature personality is real? Does Harold Ford Junior even exist beyond the lens of a camera, or is he just one of Wolf Blitzer’s holograms — the one that escaped? These things, and more.
You might be tempted to credit this confession here as “honest,” because he’s admitting that many politicians just make it up as they go along. But honesty or the appearance thereof was probably not on Harold Ford Junior’s mind, because he’s not really self-aware, and doesn’t understand that saying “Oh I just lied to get elected by those crazy people down there, but it was years ago” does not convince people that he won’t lie like a crazy person again whenever he gets the chance. Like in a New York Senate race!
So, when I ran for Senate in Tennessee four years ago, I’d walk into rallies and forums and some of the anti-abortion activists would have baby dolls, and they’d smash the heads of them as I walked in and yell I’m a baby-killer. When I’d walk into forums I’d look before the audience, and say “Let’s tell all these people that we’re really the pro-life ones, the ones who support education and health care and veterans benefits.”
Epic! When he said he was pro-life in Tenneessee, he was speaking to OTHER THINGS that weren’t abortion, even while responding to questions about his abortion position. He’s bragging about how he lied to people, which is also a lie, because he wasn’t! THIS IS THE CARD HE’S PLAYING.
He also calls Kirsten Gillibrand a “young lady,” and she is older than him, so Harold should probably lay off the hilarious attempts at subliminal sexism, because they’re about as transparent as THE AIR ON PLANET EARTH.
Please run, Harold. Please, please run!
[NY Mag via Glenn Thrush]
{ 40 comments }
I’m Karl Rove, and I approve Junior’s message.
My faith in the wisdom of the people of Tennessee is somewhat restored by this.
Fucking retard politicians.
Harold Ford Jr.:Barack Obama::Kobe Bryant:Michael Jordan
(In the ass-raping department, mostly.)
[re=506070]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]:
That’s the douchesack seal of approval.
Now we know who’s been calling Harold.
That Junior! He’s comedy gold!
Because Harold is fucking retarded…so said Rahm. expect a Palin FB screed shortly…written by someone else as usual.
He’s just a beautiful, beautiful person – one of God’s little angels.
Harold, I challenge you to a game of horseshoes.
A game of horseshoes!
$1 billion dollars in 2010 campaign contributions from free-speeching human being Merrill Lynch can’t be wrong!
He looks like a little baseball player so we should probably vote for him.
[re=506083]Radiotherapy[/re]: Damn you beat me to it!
Today, we are all young-despite-actually-being-middle-aged ladies.
To be fair to Harold, the “I was lying about my views on abortion and gay rights to win elections in my state” strategy worked very well for Mitt Romney in the 2008 primary, which is why he’s President today.
For about 6:04, I almost forgot he was black.
Not enough Negro dialect. FAIL.
His Dad invented the car, so we should probably vote for him.
Did he show Colbert the large slit in his back by means of which he’s operated like the giant corporate puppet he is?
[re=506091]snideinplainsight[/re]: A snorted Amp on my keyboard assist.
Back before I knew better, I used to hear this carpetbagger on Don Imus’ radio show. Imus absolutely loved him, probably because he was light skinned, could sound black if encouraged to do so, and was able to put up with the standard racist comedy on that pitiful fuck’s show. Man, they deserved each other. And I live in NY; please don’t wish this dingleberrie’s campaign on my forlorn state.
This guy has more flip-flops than a Myrtle Beach Wings store, but he is light-skinned.
Also, that Gillibrand doesn’t hurt my lens-implants, if you know what I mean.
2006 Harold Ford is on 2010 Harold Ford’s ON NOTICE board.
Thou hast committed…fornication, but that was in another country, and besides, the wench is dead.
Let’s see…”providers of capital markets services, investment banking and advisory services, wealth management, asset management, insurance, banking and related financial services worldwide.”
Ah here we go:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtNM2Kr6QnQ#t=02m22s
[re=506103]bitchincamaro[/re]: Ya know what IROC stands for? Italian Retards Out Cruising. IN their Bitchin Camaros.
[re=506092]JMP[/re]:
Damn you! My joke was:
If you stare at his image long enough he morphs in to Mitt Romney.
BUT.YOU.BEAT.ME.TO.IT.
Grrrr….
Do I have to smack a prommie?
This bears repeating: Let me get this straight: This weasel and Gillibrand are the choices in New Fucking York.
[re=506103]bitchincamaro[/re]: Now we are getting somewhere. If you run against these two, I will vote for you.
[re=506122]Norbert[/re]: I will set you free, etc., etc., etc.
[re=506110]Jim Demintia[/re]: Would that Junior were erudite enough to be compared to The Jew of Malta. Truth be known, his speed is more “Dukes of Hazzard” or “Touched (Inappropriately) By an Angel.”
This guy is just about Edwardsian in his inability to see just how badly he is self-destructing. Carolyn Kennedy figured it out in, what, a week?
[re=506121]bitchincamaro[/re]: There’s a big lizard on my lawn. I am going to Leggets.
This Ford fellow, his crude antics may go over with the rubes out in the sticks, but this is Capital City he is dealing with, now.
[re=506119]Tommmcatt[/re]: You gotta be a bit quicker on the trigger around here sometimes before the good jokes get taken.
I think he’s made a wise choice in hiring Martha Coakley’s campaign team
It’s so cool that Derek Jeter is moonlighting as this whacky comedy-persona in order to make Gillibrand look good. Go Derek!
[re=506070]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Obviously the only way to get the truth out of him is to have him personally waterboarded by Alberto Gonzales.
Needz moar melanin.
[re=506144]Prommie[/re]: No fair. it was a choice between him and bob cracker… dumb and dumber.
[re=506085]Extemporanus[/re]: Kudos on your excellent Comment form and inline hotlinking, Extemporanus. Very classy, savvy and well done.
Just wait until he moves to Mississippi to run for a congressional seat down there. He’ll be against affirmitive action, the voting rights act, ACORN and will profess his long standing love for the sons of the confederacy and the KKK.
I just want to know where Gillibrand is getting the money to bribe this guy to make her look good? That is the *only* explanation that makes sense (unless bodysnatchers really do exist…)
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