Did you know that Demon Sheep Tom Campbell once impersonated Elvis at a party, just like Rod Blagojevich? And did you know that the person who made Carly Fiorina’s famous ad was one Fred Davis, who also made the terrible “Celebrity” ad (Barack Obama=Paris Hilton, plus phallic symbols) a couple years back? Who wouldn’t want to employ this genius admaker, after all he did for President McCain! Anyway, the point is, Tom Campbell is not just a weird laser-eyed pervert who wants to fuck your wooly ungulates. He is actually Rod Blagojevich, which is even worse. (Terrifying illustration courtesy of Lauri Apple.) [TIME, Tom Campbell for US Senate]
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Fred Davis: The rat. The ox. The sheep.
What’s next?
This is actually more disturbing than the laser-eyed sheep
An ungulate is a fucking valuable thing. If you are horny you can fuck it. If you are hungry you can eat it. I suppose you could try to do the same with a Senate seat but nothing good would come of that.
Looks like W.
clearly we have a top republican operative who is a furry, likes to dabble in bestiality or both. Perhaps he’s also a bear.
Well of course they’d want to hire the genius behind the Obama wants to sex our slutty white celebrities ad; after all, the media fawned over it and believed it was going to win McCain the election, despite the surface message making no fucking sense whatsoever, and their general pretending to ignore the obvious implicated message.
Sure, Fred Davis pretends to be all cool and hip and politically au courant, but he is a Wonketteer In Name Only.
All we like sheep…
He’s done pigs too. I looks like he’s running a Chinese Horoscope. We can look forward to Tigery tigers, wascally wabbits, demented dragons, meddlesome monkeys, rampaging roosters, drooling dogs, horrible horses, and snarky snakes. No, snarky snakes is our job, need something else there.
I don’t know. He likes Shatner, MST3K, and hates Fiorina. I feel bonded to this guy.
Except for the sheepfucking. That’s just plain wrong.
So, “blow-dried Republican”::”blow-jobbed Republican” as “potato”::”potahtoe,” amirite?
[re=508239]memzilla[/re]: Today, we are all WINOs.
The weirdest thing about Fred Davis is that he’s Sen. Inhofe’s nephew.
OT (?) but am I the only one contemplating getting a lauri apple tattoo?
[re=508260]Crank Tango[/re]: Thats fucking ponderous, man; its like you believe in shit and stuff. Unless it would be an ironic lauri apple tattoo.
The GOP: where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.
Did I know? No.
Did I want to know? No.
Will I ever un-know? We’ll see what tonight’s booze binge says.
Jesus Christ, did you kids get into the pixie sticks or something?
Does he fuck the sheep, or eat them? Though I guess there are many who do both.
I usually like Lauri Apple’s work, but this thing with Campbell is very disturbing.
[re=508265]Prommie[/re]: actually I was thinking of commissioning her to do a version of me as St Michael. Cuz there isn’t a St. Crank.
Halloween cannot come soon enough.
Personally I think going after the laser-eyed sheep demographic is a smart move…
There just doesn’t seem to be any end to the creative magic one can coax out of Photoshop.
Laurie Apple should illustrate a children’s book called “Help, Mom! There are Republicans under my bed!”
Sara, this ain’t important news, Snowpocalypse is almost upon us, bearing down like a runaway snowstorm, soon we will all perish. Its time to break out the oldest vintage port in the celler, and Sara, just so we can die happy, could you show us your tits?
For an ungulate where are the fucking hooves? Hooves are a valuable thing, you don’t just leave it out for nothing.
If not you, could you convince whatsername, the one with always the bow in her hair, could she show us her tits?
Fred Davis also made that ad in Tennessee about Harold Ford Jr. going to the playboy mansion.
I would buy a children’s book illustrated by Laurie Apple.
A Winter Storm Warning remains in effect until 10 PM EST
Saturday.
* Precipitation type… heavy snow.
* Accumulations… storm total accumulations of 20 to 30 inches.
Localized amounts over 30 inches possible at higher elevations.
* Timing… snow will move north during the morning and will
continue through Saturday evening. Conditions will deteriorate
rapidly this afternoon…
“Fuck your wooly ungulates” = imissopus spits coffee all over his monitor.
Also, Fred Davis, like Breitbart, is one of the few die-hard conservatives in Hollywood. You’d think they could find one in this town who does not appear to be either a furry, sexually repressed, or completely insane. Or all three.
[re=508309]Flanders[/re]: Snow has started in Silver Spring. I am moving to the bomb shelter now!
[re=508314]finallyhappy[/re]: Well, be glad it’s Silver Spring and not Fairfax, VA: we got two inches of the shit already in the shadow of the NRA headquarters. Fucking hell.
Now the storm is saying, “Sometime tonight you will wake up to find Tom Campbell’s head in your bed.”
[re=508281]JesusButter[/re]: I’m already picturing a huge herd of revelers wearing sheepskin seat covers and LED red eyes, milling about the intersection of Market and Castro.
In case anyone is interested: best deal anywhere on the internet on wooly ungulates … Duluth Trading Company… XS through XXL…all merino…imported.
SNOMG GET OUT OF THERE YOU PEOPLE THERE WILL BE DISRUPTIONS AND A BREAK DOWN OF LAW AND ORDER WITH RAMPANT SEXUAL PROCLIVITIES TAKING PLACE FOR THE PURPUSE OF GENERATING BODILY WARMTH
On second thought maybe I can still catch the Metroliner inbound to DC…
[re=508325]Mr Blifil[/re]: I have concluded its time to start approaching random strangers and suggesting that if we are all gonna die, might as well go out having sex, which is how I always imagined it would be in the event we ever got the alarm that the nuclear warheads were on the way.
Psst…hey buddy….wanna buy an ungulate?
[re=508302]Prommie[/re]: Tits are valuable things, etc., etc.
[re=508318]chaste everywhere[/re]: Now the storm is saying who’s laughing now, beeyitch? Got your cuddly widdle socks and your lame little snowplows ready?? HA HA HA.
So Tom Campbell’s basically a trippin-balls Republican who makes whacked-out ads — that pegs him as a liberterian, I’m betting. All the stoner Republicans are libertarians. And as for Lauri Apple’s grayish-white doughboy elephant with jackass ears — it’s as though she looked into his soul.
[re=508326]Prommie[/re]: Would make a good FB group: WONKETTE APOCALYPTIC FUCKING BRIGADE. It would also be useful towards establishing our “safe” words beforehand.
[re=508260]Crank Tango[/re]: No, you are definitely not the only one contemplating a Lauri Apple tattoo. But then again, she’s well aware that I’m her #1 fan.
[re=508339]Flanders[/re]: Best entry yet in the “How should we spell the word most of us spell *biotch*” contest!
I already went to bed and woke to find, not Tom Campbell’s head in bed with me, but the whole guy, you guys! Says he flew his private jet to DC to find out what it’s really like to be in the Senatorium, then the storm terrified the h. out of him and he climbed in bed with me. I reminded him he’s running for governor and shoulda flown to Sacramento instead. But he’s adamant, about many things.
http://gayspecies.blogspot.com/2009/06/tom-campbell-for-governor.html
http://www.campbell.org/
Shouldn’t he have figured out by now which orifice he’s running for?
I can only describe his smile as sheepish. Film at 11.
[re=508266]Red Zeppelin[/re]: If you’re going to use the wisdom of the late great U. Utah Phillips, who said the same about Utah, please attribute. Otherwise you will be forced to eat a slice of Moose Turd Pie.
Perhaps someone should tell Davis that “pulling the wool over their eyes” is a figure of speech (and a position of preference for a few)?
[re=508311]imissopus[/re]: Sara meant to type ‘underpants’.
Where is the obligatory livestock ear-tag? Or is that merely ornamentation for the females of the species?
[re=508380]sanantonerose[/re]: good! I feel better now…
No joke- Fred Davis has literally made every funny republican ad that Wonkette has gone crazy for for the last 3 years. He is fucking awesome and getting better.
I thought nothing could be scarier than Grandpa Cornpants, but I guess I was wrong.
[re=508424]chaste everywhere[/re]: I looked at E!Online for a spelling of that word in question and got bee-yotch. I figured they would know, being the Kendra/Kardashian network and all.
Laurie–thanks for the nightmares tonight.
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