MICHAEL STEELE CONTINUES TO NEVER PLAY RACE CARD: Moo moo motherfuckers: “I don’t see stories about the internal operations of the DNC that I see about this operation. Why? Is it because Michael Steele is the chairman, or is it because a black man is chairman?” It’s because Tim Kaine is really boring. And yes, the black skin/RNC combo does make for more hilarity. [Plum Line]
-
Authors
Wonkette Jr. (623)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (796)
Jim Newell (5417)
Kaia Mursi (43)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Liz Colville (94)
Ken Layne (6695)
Blair Burke (170)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 40 comments }
Also Mike, YOU HAVE THE JOB BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACK. Being retarded also helps tho.
“Is it because (a) Michael Steele, an incompetent attention whore, is the chairman, or is it because (b) a black man is chairman?” Yes on (a).
So, do you want coverage or don’t you?
Its all about YOU Michael because your so awesome (fuckingretard)
That is not racial trans…transsend…tr…
Fuck it, let’s laugh at the funny RNC man!
Yeah, you’re sobbing all the way to the bank, Mike.
The Tommy DeVito of the RNC:
Michael Steele: “You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m darker maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?”
GOPer: Just… you know, how you run the RNC, what?
Michael Steele: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!
GOPer: [long pause] Everything, Mikey. Everything!
Let the DNC have a hologram of Donna Brazile dressed as Mrs. Butterworth and I will give 2 shits about what they are doing.
Yeah! And why do people who go to the circus always laugh at the clowns, but never pay attention to the janitors?
Yeah, why didn’t anyone cover Tim Kaine’s showdown with Rush Limbaugh, who made him back off his claim that Limbaugh was just an entertainer? Or notice when Kaine was going to reach out to all manner of previously excluded groups and try to bring them in to the party by talking in square-tries-to-be-hip speak? Or laugh at Kaine’s egregious attempts to modernize the party’s image by making gimmicky web pages while not actually changing an iota of policy? It’s because the liberal elite media is directly descended from Simon Legree — that’s a known fact.
For reals, the DNC could try and make more funny. They’re not good for much else at this time.
“Is it because Michael Steele is the chairman, or is it because a black man is chairman?”
Perhaps it’s because Michael Steele insists on speaking in the 3/5ths person.
[re=510078]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: Mrs. Butterworth. Yes.
Black Republicans: always have been, are, and always will be hilarious.
[re=510081]uncletravelingmatt[/re]: Isn’t it rich? Isn’t it queer, losing his timing this early in his career?
And where are the janitors? There ought to be janitors.
Well, maybe next year…
“I don’t see stories about the internal operations of the DNC that I see about this operation. Why? Is it because Michael Steele is the chairman, or is it because a black man is chairman?”
It is because Michael Steele is the chairman and a known crook and retard.
When the DNC is run by a cabal of traps and midget porn actors I’ll pay attention to them, Mike. But until then, you’re the best show in town.
:::Closing number. Hushed house. Irised spot. The band starts slowly as Ms. Holiday (“Lady Day” to her legion of fans) ends the set with her signature number:::
Strange Fruit
The GOP’s run by a very Strange Fruit,
Raving of tea leaves . . .or bags. (He’s a hoot!)
Black boy caddying to his White Massas’ needs,
A Strange Fruit twisting in the political breeze.
A Luau scene with a toading crouch,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of semen, stale and pressed,
Some KY Jelly in some House page flesh.
Here is a Fruit for the Wonkies to pluck,
For Palin to ponder, for Rush L. to suck,
For the sun to darken, as if he’s Man-Tan,
A Spike Lee parody that thinks he’s “The Man.”
:::Wild applause:::
(Gesh. I love the jazz classics. Don’t you?)
either michael steele is the chairman or a black man is the chairman, it has to be one or the other.
[re=510096]Extemporanus[/re]: Keep that Stephen Sondheim crap to yourself. There hasn’t been a decent musicial since “West Side Story.”
Well, okay, maybe “Hair.” And “Jesus Christ Superstar.”
(My god. I can’t believe I said something nice about Andrew Lloyd Webber. Someone hand me one of my guns: It’s time to kill myself.)
We could lay off Michael Steele and go after Tim Kaine, but then Steele would say, “Why are you ignoring me and heaping attention on Tim Kaine? Is it because I’m a black man?” That’s why Michael Steele is such an effective leader–he’s always one jump ahead of us!
Question: if I attack Tim Kaine, am I being PC or am I being a race traitor? I need to know now. I was only five years old back in 1974, so I’m a little sketchy on how identity politics are supposed to work. Thank you for your help.
[re=510106]Neilist[/re]: I want to say that “Hair” was awful, but would that make me racist against delicious black boys?
[re=510093]Extemporanus[/re]: Yeah, when did he become an NFL player? That kind of ego usually only comes with an athlete’s mindset.
I think Freud would have put it thusly: Sometimes and incompetent twatwaffle is just an incompetent twatwaffle. Retarded, also.
[re=510109]Larry McAwful[/re]: Yes. And if you want Great Moments In Delicious Black Boys Cinema, please see “Mandingo.”
Ken Norton was ROBBED of an Oscar for that one. ROBBED!
[re=510096]Extemporanus[/re]: Don’t you love farce?
Mike’s fault, I fear.
He thought that you’d want what he wants . . .
Just a few mil a year.
Mr. Steele,
I’m going to talk to you honestly because you and I are from the same area. We’ve been in the same restaurants fairly frequently, until you took the RNC job.
1. Ehrlich picked you to be his lt. governor because you are black and he thought that you might be able to deliver PG County and maybe parts of Baltimore City to him. After the election, you were basically trotted out for photo ops and were pretty much a non-entity, even on the scale of lt. governors.
2. You stood in the general election for Senator in Maryland against Ben Cardin and lost. Contrary to your hopes, black people didn’t vote blindly for you based on your race or the scare tactics used by your campaign and party. That should have been a wake up call, Mike. Maybe it was. Your aspirations changed quickly from our State to the national level.
3. You were picked to run the RNC because you are black. Those southern hardliners don’t like you. You barely won and it was because some members of your party wanted you to be a counterweight to Obama. Those folks in your party who give you a hard time? They always will. Always. You could deliver every seat in the US Congress to your party and those folks will always pick you apart.
On some level, Mike, you have to know all this. I actually think you genuinely want to drag your party forward, but the GOP people you need to move along still have metaphorical Klan hoods in their closets.
Sincerely,
that chick in Maryland who looks sort of familiar
There’s Steele being silly while Kaine is boring, but also the media will cover him more for the same reason they covered Howard Dean more from 2005-2008 than whoever was the head of the RNC. As the titular head of a party that’s currently out of power, Steele is one of the official leaders of the GOP, and is supposed to be coordinating his party’s attempt to make a comeback; as the head of the DNC while the Democrats control the White House, Senate and House Kaine is below the elected officials who actually hold real power.
Steele isn’t black enough. He’s all “look at me white bread, I’m rye” and Obama’s like “shut the fuck up, pumpernickel’s in charge” and meanwhile buckweat keeps gettin’ fucked.
“Is it because I say stupid shit to any media outlet larger than a PTA newsletter? FUNK DAT!”
Who dat?
Step Off!
I Got This!
This story is prepostriss
Stop the dissin you be missin my kissin
that’s why you be actin like you was in prison
Uh-huh-huh-huh-HUH!
That’s to get your attention
Fuckin’ with the liberals is def’nitely my intention
Crankin’ up the wurlitzer as if it’s my invention
Ain’t so much black as I’m brown, you see
that’s why you find me runnin this town, you see
with a smile not a punk-ass frown, I be
now I’m strokin’ out the butterfly while the judges be watchin’ you drown, tee hee
RNC chair cold rocking the joint
I’mma blast you with 5 tons of Powerpoint
Steel-ee-oh the real deal-ee-oh
you picked the wrong Messiah to annoint
I’m crossing borders
y’all a bunch of Harold Forders
I’m plastering the cable shows
Don’t forget to set your recorders
How’s that hopey-change-y workin
I went to Hawaii too, but I wasn’t shirkin’
Tom Kaine don’t hafta deal with this shit
But I guess a black man isn’t a real Amurkin.
Spread the toleration
peace out
[re=510093]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh, snap!
Of course Michael Steele has never played the race card. It’s hard to do when you are in fact a walking, talking, human race card.
[re=510106]Neilist[/re]: Uh…Sweeney Todd happened you know. But that one is probably off your radar since the protagonist slits throats with a razor as opposed to blowing their heads off with a secreted mini-arsenal of ballistic weapons. They actually considered updating the story in such a way that Sweeney the barber kept a sawed-off shotgun taped to the back of his swivel chair and when bent down supposedly to grab the perfume atomizer…BLAM! It was provisionally titled “A Little Off The Top.”
Plus, you shouldn’t go out on a limb pronouncing the musical dead until you have seen Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark.
[re=510093]Extemporanus[/re]: Two snaps, WAY up!
I don’t know… The way he talks about the black man chairman on the one hand and MS on the other, it makes me think he might have that Tweety amnesia thing where he forgets that he’s a black man for an hour.
Speaking of Twatwaffles, Ron Christie was recently overheard quietly sobbing: “If he’d just give me a reach-around, just once…Would that kill him? Michael can be so mean!”
Sorry Ron, politics ain’t beanbag… or is it?
[re=510106]Neilist[/re]: Rent- you are forgetting Rent and also Rent
[re=510111]Gopherit[/re]: In addition to making me hungry/horny, your use of the word “twatwaffle” brought to mind a tangentially relevant question:
If I eat Aunt Jemima pancakes somethered in Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup, does that make me a racist or a player?
[re=510149]Mr Blifil[/re]: Word to your palm, Vanilla Steele.
[re=510177]finallyhappy[/re]: “Rent”?
You mean “Lease,” don’t you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yC7HwPh6Es
[re=510180]Extemporanus[/re]: That makes you Gandalf tha N*gga.
/deadspun
Comments on this entry are closed.