Unsatisfied with the terrible death and destruction in Chile, the Evil Earthquake is now hoping to wipe out the Hawaiian Islands with a Terrible Tsunami. Alleged Hawaiian Barack Obama just warned his people on the Sandwich Islands that the killer wave spawned by the 8.8 Chilean quake should start bashing the shores in about an hour. Why does Nature hate everybody?
Ha ha, nature does not actually care, as it is simply a “force” and not a “Dick Cheney trying to kill everyone on purpose.”
So the plates of the Earth continue shifting around like crazy. Haiti, that was bad! Chile, this is very bad! There were also 6.9 and 7.2 temblors in Japan and offshore near China, last night. Argentina just had a 6.3. Shit’s going bananas! Oh, and the West Coast is due for an eight or nine on the olde Richter Scale, too — that 6.5 in Eureka, California, last month was just an appetizer. Even the mob/ACORN midwest city of Chicago had a 4.3 two weeks ago. THE EARTH IS TRYING TO SHAKE ALL OF US TO DEATH, which is child abuse.
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oh jebus, the fucking right wing Christians are gonna start crowing about the Rapture and shit any second now.
“All you dirty commie pinko liberal sinners repent NOW!!11!!” in 3, 2, 2.5, 1…
Oh fuck, the damned Religious people are gonna start blaming this on us commie, librul, pinko, femi-nazi cooters in 3, 2, 1…
This is great news! Now Obama can tell the birthers that his birth certificate was destroyed by the tsunami.
2010- And you thought 2009 sucked
Nature is just getting even with us. Well, wait a minute. That’s not true. Nature doesn’t hate us – it doesn’t even know we’re here. But I’m sure that both sides of the aisle will be anthropomorphizing this to make some point.
If the tsunami comes around the world and hits West Palm Beach, would it be a case of the irresistible force hitting the immovable object when it strikes Rush Limbaugh?
[re=521327]CaliforniaMike[/re]: I just shook my fist at Mother Nature and yelled “You’re too late, Limbaugh was in Hawaii months ago!”
LOL. The xinhuanet link uses a file photo from 1986 for Okinawa.
Good morning Wonkett!
It’s not just the Voodoo-powered Kenyan Hawaiians who must tremble in fear of the Angry Tsunami Gods, but us (somewhat) innocent Antipodians are also doomed! Only our constant, fervent prayers to our Imperial Brittanic Mother-Goddess Lizzy-th’Deuce can save us now….
But at least your Reich-wingers (and ours) haven’t blamed this on last night’s Sydney Mardi Gras parade of teh Ghey, yet…
[re=521323]samsuncle[/re]: The tsunami hit Kenya too?
this is all a part of gods’ plan to make it abundantly clear to everyone that he doesn’t give a shit about anyone… mostly because he doesn’t exist, but also because he’s just a giant dick
well played god, well played
This is really going to piss Pat Robertson off. He thought that Hatians were the only ones that made a covenant with the devil.
plowman: nice!
You’re missing the story… This is Obama’s work: he (or his evil minions) fiendishly caused a magnitude 8.8 earthquake in Chile, KNOWING the ensuing tsunami would wipe out his secret birth records in HAWAII!
Take off your blinders, America! He’ll stop at nothing!
This is all just further proof that Global Warming is a hoax
[re=521321]Merry Christen[/re]: Aren’t all “dirty, commie, limbrul sinners” on the west coast any way?
[re=521322]Merry Christen[/re]: You might want to have that multiple personality disorder looked into. Or not.
In order to spread the Evac message to the younger demographic, President Obama followed his standard teLlypRomPTerz address with a Rockband Expert Drums 5 Star level performance of “Run to the Hills”…
NOAA’s records indicate that 10 out of its 39 deep-ocean pressure monitoring stations, also known as DART buoys, were failing.
Congress should pass legislation for monies for more sensors, just so Bobby Jindal can look like a fool again.
For those who care, you can watch the LIVE DEVASTATION OF HAWAII right here…
Good news for John McCain. He’s still alive, no?
“Nature does not actually care.” Now that’s a quote to top all the miserable Smiths lyrics from the last thread.
HAARP. HAAAARRRRP.
HAARP. HAAARRRPP.
[re=521340]Bearbloke[/re]: Thanks, all the others required me to install a plugin.
[re=521340]Bearbloke[/re]: Sunny blue skies, gentle waves on the ocean…oh the humanity!
[re=521348]V572625694[/re]: I know! I keep waiting & all I see are surfers & people lining up on the beach to watch. At this rate, this is not going to merit a celebrity telethon.
“Just like California to make a fool of me
Steal the sideshow, burn the disco
Slide into the sea”
-The Old 97′s
[re=521330]Bearbloke[/re]: Look at it! It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, man!
Let me go out there and let me get one wave, just one wave before you take me in. I mean, come on man, where am I gonna go? Cliffs on both sides! I’m not gonna paddle my way to New Zealand!
Come on, compadre! Come on!
[re=521350]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Poor Chile…all the possible celebrity telethons and money-raising songs have already been done for Haiti. How are Chileans going to get any money if “We Are the World” has already been re-recorded?
Has anyone compared the timing of these things to the dozens of Cheney heart attacks? Just sayin.
All a part of the Creator’s plan to force us to bow down before Al Gore, Oracle of Science and Stuff. The Goreacle has already posted his OpEd piece at the NYT. Snowmageddon, Haiti Earthquake, the Olympic Winter Games in “balmy” Canada and now this…all proof of the end of what we used to call “climate”. I’m sorry I never got to see Hawaii before it was consumed by the Pacific. Maybe God will compensate by also taking out Alaska (while the entire Palin/Johnston clan is at home).
As to the earlier posting, no John McCain died years ago in Veet Nam. That is one of Disney’s first animatronic “Senators” that escaped from an Epcot exhibit.
You know how a dog with fleas scratches itself furiously and shakes all over as it tries to claw them off its skin? That’s what the planet is doing to us. Only the tapeworms (the Zionist elders living inside the hollow Earth) will survive these calamities.
I trust our friend DustBowlBlues is enjoying the Davey Shusterfest on MSNBC.
[re=521334]RoadScholar[/re]: [re=521348]V572625694[/re]: [re=521350]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Just wait until the millions of hectares of marijuana plantations are destroyed, and the local economy has to revert to pineapple, cannibalism and globally-televised championship surfing competitions… THEN you’ll see the devastation! And nObama can enact Phase 4 of his insidious, decades-long plan to Destroy America by funneling billions of White Christian taxpayer dollars to Hawaii so ACORN can build his NEW “White” House and Global-Command Mosque/Bunker on his secret Voodoo Island… the fiend!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIQUOR CABINETS!!!!!
BREAK OUT THE MAI TAIS!!!!!
ALOHA!!!!!
The Health Care Summit was more interesting…
[re=521343]Poochie[/re]: McCain was last seen gettin’ all Maverick-y in Northern California.
Unfortunately, due to his tortured, baby T. Rex arms, it was impossible to determine whether he was waving, drowning, or furiously, fruitlessly fapping.
You Wonkie LIE-Bruals in here NEVER get the POINT:
If the People’s Republic of Hawaii had not outlawed handguns, those surfer dudes and dudettes; lei-dripping, hip-thrust hula honeys, and fat, sunburned, pre-skin cancer victims would be able to look that Killer Wave right in the eye and say, “Go ahead, H20: Make my day.”
That “Sue-Nami” — (Hey, why does a Chilian wave have a Nip girl’s name?) — would be back in South America so fast . . . .
Oh, and the NRA is working on an earthquake prevention system that involves a .50 cal. Desert Eagle. Pointed at a certain Republican Raccoon-Shooting Legislator’s foot.
“Go ahead, Dirt: Make my day.”
:::BANG! THUMP!:::
I don’t like this evacuation plan. I think people need to return to where they were, and we should start again with a new plan. Sure it will take another 6 weeks, but it’s what the American people want.
[re=521359]proudgrampa[/re]: “Shop as usual. And avoid panic buying.”
Andy Cooper is en route to airport while looking up Chilean B&B’s in his Damron guide.
[re=521332]jetjaguar[/re]: Win
[re=521330]Bearbloke[/re]: Only our constant, fervent prayers to our Imperial Brittanic Mother-Goddess Lizzy-th’Deuce can save us now…
“Fervent Prayers;” that’s Aussie slang for masturbation, isn’t it?
________
[re=521352]Extemporanus[/re]: Careful, you might end up on some deserted isle, only to find out that Ginger and MaryAnne prefer skinny sailor boys better.
[re=521335]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Dammit Hooray, you beat me to it. But seriously, how long before some retard says this?
OT, but why the fuck is NBC interrupting Olympics coverage with some 9/11 thingy? I’m in the bar and can’t hear, but it’s like some sort of Rudy Giuliani campaign ad! Give me stocky Norwegian lady x-country skiers any day.
“Hawaii, huh? Well, thank God it’s some foreign, exotic place, and not America.”
–Cokie Roberts.
[re=521368]Red Zeppelin[/re]: You best bet for that is right here, I think…
[re=521362]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Exactly right, it’s not that we don’t want a better evacuation procedure, everyone agrees that our current evacuation plan costs this country too much money (even though it’s the best evacuation plan in the world) because of frivolous lawsuits that ultimately drive up flood insurance rates. We just want it to consist of small, incremental evacuations – a helicopter here, a boat there – a city at a time. Because in this time of war, can we really afford to such a costly experiment?
etc, etc
CNN has wisely shifted away from the mass death and destruction in Chile to the terrifying prospect of vacationing Justins and Madisons from around the world being forced to move their cabanas 10 meters up the hill.
[re=521362]Sparky McGruff[/re]: The plan definitely needed to be more bipartisan– relied too much on federal government.
[re=521372]Bearbloke[/re]: Yeah, the retardation is pretty thick on the ground in that sector of cyberspace.
[re=521321]Merry Christen[/re]: I will repent after I take part in some indiscriminate panic fucking for a while first.
Guess they couldn’t find any virgins to sacrifice to keep this event from happening.. or nonevent for Hawaii, as CNN is now saying Oh we Dodged a Bulletd!
This is because of the Rev. Wright, isn’t it?
Dr. gUPTA AND A.C. are already on their way.
[re=521333]samsuncle[/re]: Now, when the Dole Family first reached Hawaii, this is true, they made a bargain with the Devil. They would grow his demon plant, which is neither a pine nor an apple, but contains the seeds of mankind’s destruction like another apple of old. In return, the Devil made them wealthy, but he also cursed their paradise to destruction by volcanos, tsunamis, and being the home of America’s first black Muslin President. Now all of this is true. God works in mysterious ways.
[re=521374]Scooter[/re]: I think the scariest thing of watching the early coverage late last night on CNN is that CNN is apparently staffed by 14 year-olds on the weekends. Fortunately, they seemed to know their stuff.
FOX, on the other hand, had Dick Morris and Karl Rove on to discuss how this was another failure for Obama.
[re=521377]Mr Blifil[/re]:
panic fucking is the best fucking,ever
In all seriousness, it was pretty amazing how quickly the USGS and NOAA got information up on the web last night. Shame no one on the right never points out the 999 times out of 1000 where government works well. Although, as [re=521361]Neilist[/re] points out, if we simply armed everyone, no one would have to worry about shit like this. Or rove Killer Whales…, Also.
Fuck it, I’m in the Atlantic. On a beautiful island. With lots of liquor.
[re=521387]the problem child[/re]:
Since you announced your location,God will find you and may kill you.
God is in God’s Revelation mood.
Pat Robertson will say this is God’s revenge for homosexuality and abortion in 3,2,1…
And Charlie Rangle will claim his staff never told him there was an earthquake in the first place…
[re=521321]Merry Christen[/re]: I like the first version better.
[re=521333]samsuncle[/re]: Undoubtedly its that heathen Queen Liliuokalani’s fault!!!
`[re=521366]Autoo[/re]: “Fervent Prayers;” that’s Aussie slang for masturbation, isn’t it?”
No mate – that would be “put(ting) a shrimp on the barbie” – we call the seafood creatures “prawns” in the ANZAC lands…
Too bad the Haitians have to settle for the silver medal. It looked like their 7.0 would be good enough for the gold until the Chileans took it away from them at the last minute.
[re=521386]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: WHY do you LIE-Bruals find KILLER Whales “cute.”
Vicious brutal, half-black/half-white KILLERS.
Sort of like our so-called “President.” I mean, if Orcas came from Kenya.
The Greg Brady Tiki Curse just ran out. Pfew.
[re=521386]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: In all seriousness, it was pretty amazing how quickly the USGS and NOAA got information up on the web last night.
Halliburton would have done a much better job. Sure, they would have had gang-rapes and cost overruns up the yin yang. They probably would have released the warnings about a day too late, too — but they would have kicked back some sweet campaign cash, and that’s what counts.
[re=521371]gjdodger[/re]: Let us never let that trollop live that quote away. Let us bury her to its dulcet tones, when she’s 85 & dead, interred in a mausoleum in the Bayou.
The only question left unanswered: will she also be sixty-nining George Will in Hell?
[re=521344]Come here a minute[/re]: That joke isn’t funny anymore.
my workplace has a facility in the high plains of northern Chile, which was largely unaffected. But that facility is at 16,000 feet, so very few employees actually live there. Most live between Santiago and towns up to 3 hours further north. Quite a few coworkers have been badly shaken and/or inconvenienced, and luckily I have not heard of any major injuries or fatalities. We continue to monitor the situation.
[re=521407]hotdog[/re]: Don’t be so cocky…. the year’s not up, and California hasn’t weighed in yet.
Did someone try to fool Mother Nature with Chiffon margarine again?
None of those people from Hawaii have a birth certificate.If they fall down in the sexy jungle, will anyone hear them? And the only reason all those angry mobs were peaceful is because they were carrying.
[re=521461]covered[/re]: The problem is that they don’t have the “long form” birth certificate, just the official document that says “Certificate of Live Birth”, which doesn’t count. You need to have the “long form” one, which is the one that has the coupons for the muffler shop on the front and the connect-the-dots puzzle on the back, just like the menu at Dennys.
[re=521465]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Denny’s!11! Deelish. Free Grand Slam on your birthday, too. Oh, wait. Is it still free if you only have the State Department version or do they want the “long form” to exclude hobos and usurpers? Lemme see. If Denny’s turns me down on my birthday cos I only have the “live birth” thing, I’ll have a sad. Maybe I’ll try some fancy pageant walkin’ to get the muffler coupons as a parting gift.
[re=521346]elpretentio[/re]: Don’t want to HAARP on this, but the waves were knee-highs in Hawaii. Ni-hi’s in California would have been an actual disruption to the space-time continuum.
Time to call on the Hawaiian kahunas, appease the gods with human sacrifices of all Republican members of Congress!
[re=521468]villageatrois[/re]: I seem to remember Ni-hi as some kind of soda pop in my Iowa childhood.
[re=521472]zhubajie[/re]:
They only trade in virgins so they’re going to have to settle for Jonah Goldberg and the governor of Arizona…
A sign of things to come.
The quake would not have happened if Chile had malpractice reform.
southern mark smith: Mining or astronomy?
[re=521356]AxmxZ[/re]: Or as Bill Hicks said, people are just a virus with shoes.
[re=521524]Slamtundra[/re]: Astronomy.
[re=521531]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Retrovirus, actually, but that’s just a quibble.
[re=521494]dijetlo[/re]: I still think throwing them all into Mauna Loa would benefit the USA and the human race.
Cats and dogs living together!
[re=521391]canadasteve[/re]: Robertson has blamed the evil socialist libruls of Chile who mercilessly persecuted Gawd’s (well Nixon CIA’s, same diff) appointed dictator for life St. Augusto Pinochet….to death. And all for what? privatizing social security and murdering his opponents? For shame libruls. No suffer Gawd’s wrath.
[re=521586]Ducksworthy[/re]: Whoops. Turns out that story on salon was something called Satire, meaning not necessarily 100% accurate. But Robertson is an evil douchebag, so that part was accurate.
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