• February 15, 2012
TOO LATE BRO

by Ken Layne

10:26 am March 1, 2010

'Today we're learning Arabic.'OBAMA ANNOUNCES EDUCATION FOR AMERICANS! Barry’s on the teevee, live, talking about schools or whatever. Tune in, if you’re naive enough to think the United States will ever again have a “highly educated work force.” We’ll be lucky if we ever get back to having a work force at all. [White House]

{ 24 comments }

Delicious March 1, 2010 at 10:30 am

Thank God my cable is out.

TGY March 1, 2010 at 10:34 am

Will he teach them to have enough sense to come in out of the tsunami?

JMP March 1, 2010 at 10:34 am

As long as half the states’ boards of education are in the control of people who want to teach fairy tales to children as facts, nothing the feds can do will help much, besides actually dictating standards instead of letting local idiots do so, but no one’s willing to do that.

rmontcal March 1, 2010 at 10:35 am

Glenn Beck is going to be furious when he finds out that Obama used his chalkboard. Either that or he’ll break character and go all Z0MG! fangirl…

This Cat March 1, 2010 at 10:38 am

Now, I am going to leave this room for five minutes by which time that disgusting object (John Boehner) had better be removed and the windows opened to clear away the stench.

Mr Blifil March 1, 2010 at 10:46 am

Better educated workforce is unlikely, but I think it’s likely that the degree of erudition demonstrated on webcam prØn chats will slowly rise over time.

JMP March 1, 2010 at 10:54 am

[re=521645]This Cat[/re]: Sorry, but you can never control when Boehner is going to pop up, or when it’ll go away.

SayItWithWookies March 1, 2010 at 10:55 am

I believe America will be better educated when the nation finally realizes that America’s Funniest Home Videos has been playing the same scene of a guy getting hit by a kid’s Wiffle bat for its entire program for the last umpteen years.

WadISay March 1, 2010 at 10:55 am

[re=521641]rmontcal[/re]: If Obama starts crying, I will be totally over with him.

Terry March 1, 2010 at 10:58 am

[re=521645]This Cat[/re]:

Are you referring to the honorable Mr Boehner (R – OoompaLoopa Land)?

Norbert March 1, 2010 at 11:04 am

[re=521635]Delicious[/re]: First Hussein came for our guns, now for our cable!!!

Red Zeppelin March 1, 2010 at 11:08 am

We can haz edumacationz?

freakishlystrong March 1, 2010 at 11:12 am

Our Children isn’t learning.

Cape Clod March 1, 2010 at 11:56 am

Good luck teaching anything to this bunch of future Morlocks.

Snarkalicious March 1, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Fuck you, Hopey! My ass got Spark Notes! Now I can learn all about Harry Potter in 5 minutes right on the AOL!

An Outhouse March 1, 2010 at 12:43 pm

High school was the best place to score herb.

Hooray For Anything March 1, 2010 at 12:49 pm

I also think we’ll be lucky if we ever get back to having anyone highly educated at all.

lochnessmonster March 1, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Meh, the next guy will just change anything Obama says…kind of like corporations. They go along and take years to ramp up for their new program…all of a sudden, there is aa new president with another idea and the whole thing that is finally in place is scrapped without finding out if it will work or not. The exception in this case though is No Child Left behind left the schools scrambling for money. They had mandates with no funding for them. What I never understood is how Bush got that NCLB passed when the same program bankrupted the Texas school system. Congress had blinders on I guess.

steverino247 March 1, 2010 at 2:37 pm

[re=521639]JMP[/re]: Sad, but true. You really think anybody is going to bring high tech, “futuristic” jobs to the United States when 40% of us believe that Jesus rode dinosaurs? Why the hell should they? If you want a pool of highly educated workers in the United States, you need to work really hard at it. Sure, there’s a lot of smart middle management types out there looking for positions in those companies, but enough of the drooling masses still cling to their copy of Beliefs of Bronze Age Nomads to sink the chances for everyone. Look where those kinds of jobs are now and they’re little bright spots on an otherwise bleak map of Stupid. Yup. We’re doomed.

plowman March 1, 2010 at 2:42 pm

‘We don’t need no education,
we don’t need no mind control…’

Accordion-o-rama March 1, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Educating potential voters is a pretty naked power grab for the Dems.

Aurelio March 1, 2010 at 7:21 pm

This piece of shit looks like No Child Left Behind to me. If he’s gonna fire principals and shut down schools, what is he going to use the $900M for?

In order to be eligible for a School Turnaround grant, school districts need to decide which model they will use on low performing schools.

Turnaround model – replaces the principal and half the school staff
Restart model – closes the failing school and re-opens it under a charter school format
School closure – close the failing school and re-enroll students in another more successful school
Transformational model – replaces principal; implements comprehensive instructional reform; creates a community oriented school and provides operating flexibility and support

Aurelio March 1, 2010 at 7:26 pm

Damn, I’m sorry I voted for Barry. We coulda had Walnuts and his cougar wife, and Meghan as first daughter. We would have had the same rotten domestic policies. But can you imagine the laughs? And we coulda bombed Iran, too. Endless entertainment. But no-o.

rottenart March 2, 2010 at 1:53 am

[re=522306]Aurelio[/re]: I admit to being woefully uninformed, but why is option D so bad? Do principals have less inflence than I think? The community-oriented part sounds ok too…

I’m torn on charter schools but if they can be integrated with regulation and oversight (I know, wishful thinking) then maybe we can tinker with them a little bit.

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