Apparently Arkansas Senate candidate Kim Hendren is unaware that the Federal Election Commission has strict rules about slave auctions (candidates may sell no more than four and three-fifths slaves per month). Luckily there are many sneaky euphemisms for that kind of thing in Arkansas! [The Hill]
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{ 41 comments }
5 angus cows might bring $7000 if they’re registered and the market is good (which it is not). That will pay for sweet ad buys. Or maybe some sweeter stickers for his Corvette.
[re=525653]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Damn you. I had to look up the prices of registered B A on google so you got there first.
“5 angus cows might bring $7000″
Or some magic beans.
Never mind that, apparently the Republicans have made some sweeping changes recently: “KIM Hendren … joked to The Tolbert Report HE had to…,” I had figured that the GOP’s hatred of gays also applied to transsexuals, but apparently not; they’ll even become Senate front-runners in the deep South.
Farmville?
[re=525653]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: He sold them to Wellpoint and got half a mil for them. Vagaries of the market and all.
And here I was thinking that I’d already heard every street name for a brick of opium.
Riley, I take it you are now Wonkett’s Twitter correspondent?
Just lost the PETA endorsement.
Ohh, so that’s how Hendren got the nickname “Tippy”!
Thanks, Riley! Learn somethin’ every day…
Sell your big black cow,
and get out of here.
You Dildo
On the drive from Seattle to Wenatchee, you used to pass a huge roadside sign about midpoint, proudly declaring the land there to be “STUART ANDERSON’S BLACK ANGUS” ranch. The letter G was pretty much *always* getting stolen from that sign. (May have even done it once or twice myself).
Thought this crowd might appreciate that.
A Black Angus is a valuable fucking thing. You don’t just give it away.
I wonder what game he is talking about? Seems a bit extreme for most LARP’s.
Michele Bachmann rents her womb when she needs a few extra bucks.
I’m off to Hardee’s!
Selling off 5 black cows will allow him to invest in new lingerie for his remaining stable of black hotties. In this recession, we need to applaud this kind of entrepreneurial spirit.
When Huckabee needs money, he sells pigs, or his children…as if you could tell them apart anyway.
Kim Hendren for US Senate. He’s not a Jew.
About Kim picking out a cow to sell …
“Here, chick, chick, chick.”
http://tinyurl.com/y9eq9ek
I think SenKimHendren has spent a little too much time on Facebook playing Farmville.
[re=525672]Radiotherapy[/re]: Perfect.
You were going to sell them anyway you dickface.
It might be a lust for nostalgia, but I just got a warm fuzzy reading this as it somehow reminded me of playing The Oregon Trail on my Apple IIC. Loading up at the supply depot with wagon wheels and wagon tongues as the mid-range carpenter, and always shooting more meat than you can carry, using mere arrow buttons. “You have shot 500 pounds of meat. Unfortunately, you can only carry 20.” Not to mention asking the Indians to help you ford the river, and the “Little Susie died of dysentery” custom made gravestones. Thanks, wannabe Sen. Kim for the trip!
You apparently haven’t heard about the most popular livestock here–the rubber chicken you can trade for gold
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9xaXQisPcU
[re=525761]Looy[/re]: No shit. I spend all this time telling my students that elected officials work hard to meet constituents and bag men for corporations and interest group flacks and hold hearings and vote on Important Matters of State, and they engage in this FB fappery instead? Shit!
He maybe selling the cows but the bull he gives away for free.
Kobe or GTFO.
I’m a yankee so I don’t know all the customs down South, so help me out folks. Are cows in Ark equivalent to mules in Georgia?
http://rawstory.com/08/news/2009/04/30/candidate-for-georgia-governorship-says-hed-kill-his-own-son-to-secede/
[re=525672]Radiotherapy[/re]: Awesome! I didn’t think anyone else still listened to Steely Dan (or knew what one was!)
Gawd, I would have sent this in but I’m living in Arkysaw now and it’s just embarrassing. I did make an accompanying video, more to come: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kzSmh0SCio
Also, I am pretty involved in the election cycle, and I get the candidates and rumors and all that. This other Democrat “DC MOrrison” Just filed to run in the (D) Primary against Halter and Blanche. Nobody knows who he is. He’s given no interviews, he has no facebook. His job was listed as “Agricultural Loans.” He had to pay 12.5k to file? SLEEPER CANDIDATE?!?
[re=525861]I_Like_Tigers[/re]: I’m betting it’s a LaRouchie.
“5 angus cows might bring $7000″-
Or 5-6 little gold sprayed dashboard St Reagan statues.
[re=525862]SayItWithWookies[/re]: We certainly need more heros like him.
[re=525861]I_Like_Tigers[/re]: I haven’t heard of him (her?). Any chance Blanche is backing a super duper left wing nut to pull some votes away from Halter?
[re=525786]gjdodger[/re]: At :20, it sounds like the chicken is saying, “that’s my fucking gold”. Awesome ad.
[re=525862]SayItWithWookies[/re]: They’re still around?
I haven’t seen anything like that since I decided to hide all the Farmville updates on Facebook.
[re=525882]zhubajie[/re]: Sure are! One of them just won the Democratic primary in Texas’s 22nd U.S. congressional district. Her name is Kesha Rogers, and in her victory speech, she mentioned war with the British Empire. 54-40 or fight!
If it works in the Republic of Texas, it’ll probably work in Arkansas.
Sell dem cows, and ger y’self elected!
Then you’ll get the cows back later from a lobbyest.
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