Hey, look at this! The Department of Education “has been conducting a ‘Program Review’ of Kaplan University’s main offices in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., since September. The Post business desk seemed not to notice any of this, but Post investors might want to.” Kaplan is the college loan-shark/test prep death company that makes all of the Washington Post Company’s profits, and now Obama’s Education Department is investigating it for looting the federal government in order to make all of those profits, which are dropping anyway, so that’s kind of funny. [Barron's via Romanesko]
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So I can forget about my online law degree from Kaplan’s unaccredited law school guaranteeing me appointment to the Supreme Court when John Roberts kicks the bucket?
Can someone translate that Barron’s article from Financial into English, please?
My, what a shocker that one of those for-profit, unaccredited online fake “universities” may be ripping people off. What’s next, the University of Phoenix; and/or a lawsuit from graduates who’ve discovered their “degrees” are worthless, and in fact get their resumes dumped right in the trash?
I do remember the Kaplan’s courses from back in the High School days, used by many of the dumb kids who needed help to do well on the old SATs.
Haha, shoes. Weird.
I had no idea the Washington Post was actually getting its money from a fake college. But now that I think of it, that’s probably where their editorial staff got its economics and military history degrees.
An actual paragraph–
Like a president elected with a low voter turnout, the low-volume rally is valid at least until the next election, even if the vote doesn’t send as strong a message of the entire public mood.
Glad that’s cleared up.
Review by Kaplan student:
First class was ok, but after the first class, things went down quickly. Not only no textbook for the class, when doing discussion board (blog), the instructor’s common limited in “good job.”, “goo post.”, and “I enjoy your post.” Honestly, I didn’t even know what I was writing and guess what, I got the full point. This is a school for people don’t want to learn anything to go to, if you just need a degree without knowledge, Kaplan is the right school for you!!
I take it that “goo post” is a “rubric” used by Kaplan instructional staff to indicate they got sticky fingers while masturbating to the XXX pics in the student’s work.
[re=526722]JMP[/re]: Can someone translate that Barron’s article from Financial into English, please?
I think it means the obsolescent fish-wrapper scandal sheet, Washington Post, runs a diploma mill, and that’s where the Post makes most of its money. Jeebus, you learn all kindsa stuff here on Wonkette.
[re=526732]Aurelio[/re]: Goo post!
[re=526722]JMP[/re]: Really. Because the SATs are “aptitude” tests, that measure your native intelligence without any societal or economic filtering. People really used to believe that. Just ask my manservant Rochester, who’s son couldn’t get into Harvard because he didn’t know how many chukkers in a polo match.
[re=526722]JMP[/re]: University of Phoenix must be better at it. They managed to buy the naming rights of a football stadium.
Today, we are all goo posters.
I am in the higher ed business, and even the for-profit ones that are legitimate offer services that are at best equivalent to a community college at Ivy League prices. Not a good deal for anyone, especially the schlubs they target. Yet another reason, beyond Broder, to hate WaPo.
I guess I’ll dust off my Foley-Belsaw Institute diplomas and display them proudly, this time.
[re=526758]Red Zeppelin[/re]: As a former “admissions counselor” at a for-profit career college, I couldn’t agree more. And it’s a damn shame, because I think there IS a need for directed, career-focused education. Unfortunately, most of what’s out there exists solely to fleece the undereducated and underemployed.
Wait–does this mean my Kaplan-certified diploma from The University of Guam at Palo Palo in Aerospace Engineering, which I proudly received in six months, isn’t valid? What am I going to do about my executive job here at Lockheed Martin as the Executive Associate Vice President for Aerospace Engineering, Aerospace Engineering Sector? Hey, I’m making $175,000 a year here, approving reports and attending meetings all day!
If this was happening in Venezuela, the New York Times and the Washington Post would be howling about an authoritarian government trying to intimidate the press into silence. If it was the Washington Times, Fox News would probably do the same. But, haha, nobody gives a shit about the Washington Post.
Dean Quinn may put y’all on academical suspension for this.
More pictures of naked college seniors, please.
Upon hearing of these allegations, Sen. Bob Graham changed his underwear. Again. For the fifth time today.
[re=526722]JMP[/re]: We’re talking about taking the pencil of one man and putting it in the hand of another man and wriggling it around in #2 until the bubble is completely filled in.
More financial troubles for the Post.
Dare I think it: Pink slip for Richard Cohen and David Broder and all the other losers who have no place to go? (I’m lookin’ at you, Warren “Buicks are the greatest because they’re so stylin’” Brown!)
Is this one of the colleges that Sarah Palin “atttended”?
[re=526722]JMP[/re]: To further translate it, the news of the Fed review of Kaplan “University” was buried deep in the WaPo Corp.’s annual filing with the US Securities and Exchange Commission, which Barron’s had to go dumpster-diving to find. WaPo isn’t reporting on WaPo’s troubles, which makes for a fascinating issue of journalistic ethics, unless you don’t give a shit about fishwrap journalism, in which case it’s just funny as fuck.
Who Would Eric Massa Do?
Chicago Way, bitches
Kaplan U. – Home of the Fightin’ Douche Bags
The Obama-Tards don’t want to shut Kaplan down, they just want their “vig”.
http://www.radically-raw.com
Once, when I was unemployed and desperate, I underwent the intensive 2-week training program for Kaplan test-prep instructors. I was let go at the end of the two weeks because I was not “Bennigan’s” enough.
For some reason, I thought that the poor fools who waste their money on that crap should know that (a) they’re wasting their money on that crap, and (b) they could actually learn math, if only they’d disregard everything that Kaplan wanted them to know.
I was bummed at the time, ’cause I really could have used that $8.50/hr.
[re=526875]radically-raw[/re]: Wow. You’re linkspamming a site that sells Photoshopped mugs and thongs showing Obama with demon wings and 666 emblazoned behind him. Creative one, you are.
[re=526875]radically-raw[/re]: Sophomoric, immature, not funny and therefore, offends no one. Methinks you will soon be banned.
[re=526875]radically-raw[/re]: You should make a T-shirt that shows Michelle Obama and a monkey making funny faces. That’d be hilarious!
None of this would have happened if Richard Cohen’s journalism course did not have such a high dropout rate.
But who could know?
I prefer Princeton Review University. The fightin’ Ligers!
What do you expect when you name a university after a 70′s stand up comedian who’s only experience with education was teaching John Travolta how to comb his hair?
Re Pic: Looks like Princeton’s “Naked Olympics”…good times…
[re=526922]artpepper[/re]: . . . And wear it on the DC metro during afternoon rush hour. That sure would be hilarious. Better than most of the entertainment I get on the Orange Line.
kaplan has a newspaper?
So, how’s we poors supposed to grab our online bootstraps and pull again?
From the Guardian: “The Washington Post’s publisher, which has owned Newsweek since 1961, announced today that it was calling in an investment bank, Allen & Company, to seek a buyer for the magazine.”
All those asshole reporters and pundits were riding so high while pimping complacent screed about Our Wonderful Political and Economic System. They will now be lucky to get a job at some obscure website. Obscurer than Wonkette, which wouldn’t take them. This is evidence for the existence of God.
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