Each election season brings a few new nuts to the great snack bowl of America, and we can all look back and laugh/cry over such political dingbats as Katherine Harris, Mitt Romney, Shelley “Dracula Cunt” Sekula Gibbs, Sarah Palin and Alan Keyes. These people are mostly known for losing and quitting and just being insane all the time and refusing to go away, ever. But who will be the nuthatch stars of tomorrow? They are with us already, today! And you can choose the Young Shining Rising Star of American Politics right now! These people are all so crazy and desperate, they might just show up to claim their trophy … and probably randomly attack people, with their teeth.
Can you believe the 2010 Weeping Eagles are almost here? It seems like forever since the last one, which is pretty much true as this is the first one ever. Would you like to look at a “whoopie pie” (SFW) before voting? Because these desserts will be served by Whoops! Bake Shop of DC after you enjoy the “cocktail-ized soul food” by Chef Chris of Penelope’s Catering:
Or you can just drink the cheap beer and cocktails, or do any combination of two of these things, or even all three. IT IS YOUR CHOICE, just as it is now Your Choice to choose America’s newest brightest dingbat:
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and probably randomly attack people, with their teeth
So we’re sticking with Dowd’s wet dreams today, yes?
Sharon Angle, because her political philosophy would basically turn the country into a corporate “Lord of the Flies,” yet her followers are too stupid to see that.
it was a tough decision for about 17 seconds, but of that listing, rand paul is the one who seems to have legs. and/or teeth.
“A person who has been bitten by a mad dog not only goes mad himself, you know, but communicates his madness to any one whom he bites whilst he is in that state, so that the infection may be carried on by this means through a long succession of persons.” — Lucian of Samosata
In every single one of these, it seems, my choice comes in second. Weird.
Since Rogers and Greene have no shot at actually winning, it’s hard to count them; Angle and Paul actually both have a good chance at getting in to the Senate, though, despite their insanity which makes it a contest between them (I’m not sure about Barber). Both are pretty nuts, but Angle takes it over the top with her desire to bring back prohibition and call for her fans to assassinate her opponent.
The answer is Stanley McChrystal.
Please find a way to get Rick “the prick” Santelli on one of these lists. He’s truly insufferable.
Other than that, Rick, “founders pron” Barber. Sheesh, it’s hard to choose.
Angle wins just on the crazy eyes inappropriate smiling at all times persona.
The thing about Rick Barber’s batshit ads is the way he overlooks important details about whatever president he’s talking to, in the best teabagger tradition of forgetting things like the fact that Reagan raised taxes and was pro-nuclear disarmament. He has George Washington telling him to go nuts and revolt over taxes and doesn’t seem to know that Washington had Federal troops quash the Whiskey Rebellion. He has Lincoln tell him that the income tax is “slavery”, but Lincoln established the first income tax in the US.
The best part of that his second ad starts with him getting all defensive about not knowing the thing he didn’t know about Washington in the first ad. Probably his next ad will open with him getting Lincoln to clarify something about why Lincoln’s income tax isn’t slavery, and then he’ll talk to Andrew Jackson about Obama’s “genocidal” oil spill or oil spill escrow fund or something.
it’s gotta be rand paul. any time your street credit is derived in part from your father being a total headcase, you’ve got a big head start (note: not the pre-education program, because it’s probably evil somehow).
Also, why does Lincoln apparently count as a Founding Father?
Any roster of political dingbats – losers who just won’t go away – must begin with Ole Newt Gingrich. He’s the king of them all, y’all!
I read the first chapter of his latest “book” – free on his website – and he is absolutely clueless when it comes to American history. Along with everything else, of course, other than how to recycle wives.
The Amazon “reviews” and Comments are quite amusing. Feel free to join the fun!
Too bad Shelley “Dracula Cunt” Sekula Gibbs wasn’t in the mix, but you correctly note that she is yesteryear’s nut. Still, she needs an honorable mention just because of the nickname.
Rand Paul wins, hands down. Bring on the “wrath” of the Paultards.
One more thing: Please rename the Worst Washington Post Op-Ed Columnist award the “Dave Weigel Memorial Award” or something. The trophy should be a statuette of Matt Drudge, lit by an eternal flame.
I wish I could go to these awards. I’m trying to get my sis and bro in law to go, maybe if they see the scrumptious whoopie pies bathing in Bordeaux it will overwhelm them.
That’s not a nuthatch… I don’t think??
This test is bias. You should grade red-headed Italians on a curb.
[re=612110]Oblios Cap[/re]: Did you recognize the Cuckoo Bird in this category’s art? DRACULA CUNT’S CUCKOO BIRD IS BACK FROM THE DEAD: http://wonkette.com/363769/re-elect-texas-greatest-pretend-representative
In terms of greatest and/or most overt display of insane tendencies, I too think that the “we must kill my political opponent” craziness of Angle should take the trophy.
Wow. That was a tough list. Can I vote again?
I’m going with Alvin Greene of the New Age Party, partly because I know he’ll show up to receive the award, and also because he’ll link to it on his Web site, and many teabaggers, not knowing better, will be very impressed with a “Weeping Eagle” award.
I’m with Rand. Anyone who is lazy or stupid enough not to pass their specialty boards, and instead creates a bogus certificate….Creative douchebaggery, and then revisits the Civil Rights Act. Also, the clip where he says monotone, ironically., “and we will take back our gov’t.”
Angle is not that sharp, she’s more obtuse and open to extreme concreteness.
Angle, hands-down. Yes, she and Paul are tied in terms of potential-relevance of their insanity, and yes, both of them have fairly reprehensible views, but two things tip the scales in Angles favor.
One, Paul has yet to call for his opponent’s assassination.
Two, when called out on the the insane bullshit that’s part of his platform, Rand Paul does the typical conservitard thing of going “Nuh-uh, I never said that- you’re misinterpretting… out of context… gotcha interviews… etc.” dumb-facedly until the interviewer asks something else.
What Rand Paul hasn’t done, then, is threaten to sue his opponent for posting her actual policy positions, written by her campaign. So, point goes to Sharon Angle, for that one.
Seriously: Fair Use, bitch. Learn what it means. We all know you don’t want to be held accountible for your actual views, except with the 20% of the country that, being literally insane, happen to share some of them, but the rest of us are free to point out that this makes you an idiot, and a hypocrite, and insane. Also.
[re=612108]bhosp[/re]: Must be a secret fan of “Mr Show”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI0hvm10AHo
Alright fuckos how many times do have to tells you there is NO SUCH THING AS A FIRST ANNUAL anything because it hasn’t happened yet and we don’t know if it ever will ever happen again until it does the first time. You know, the known unknowns and shit. Ask Donald Rumsfeld
Anywho
Who wouldn’t choose wacka-doodle diamond pooper Prick Barber (the “P” is silent)? He’s the freshest nutter to fail 7th grade American History and arrive in a tea bag.
I vote for Okeefe, the new ralph reed.
[re=612140]mumblyjoe[/re]: Oh, and also, for someone who claims to really be Not A Scilon, We Swear, she seems to be reading the Church of Scientology’s playbook awful thoroughly, what with threatening to sue people for publishing embarrassing facts about you that are part of the public record and also protected fair use, also. Err, I mean, “unfair bias” (please don’t sue!).
I’m deeply offended by the fact that Sarah hasn’t wished us a happy 4th of July from Twatter and MySpaceBook accounts.
Does Sarah hate America?
[re=612123]Ken Layne[/re]:
Thanks for that horrifying journey to the past.
[re=612130]proudgrampa[/re]:
No. I tried.
Listen- I would’ve voted for this Angle broad, but let’s face it, she has no chance for longevity. No matter how many people jump aboard her crazy train, she is not nearly savvy enough to become a long-term fixture. These threats she’s making are certainly central to her general character; thus, she must be disposed of before she is allowed to get too far.
Rando Calrissian (ha. the black one)is our galactic undercover dude ready to rescue the Conservative Party linewalkers from the hands of Jabba the Hut, a.k.a. Rush Limbaugh.
Tough call between Rand and Angle. I think the best has yet to come from Sharron. I mean she is dumb as all get out.
In tribute to Alvin Greene, I voted for the first person listed.
AS always, I voted for the lesser evil, as has been my lifelong habit. And on a scale of evilness ranging from them Barber asshole down through the negro-hating Kesha through the insane self-certifying Dr. Paul I sense no evilness in Mr. Greene. He is truly the dao/tao candidate balanced between yin and yang consciousness and unconsciousness.
Without a doubt Angle. After reading today’s Huffpo piece on Al Greene, he doesn’t seem so bad actually. That porn charge is total bullshit, and being a Southerner I know how these goons down here love to throw out bullshit charges. Especially drug(s) charges!
NONE of these people are doing anything except going straight to WND, just like Micheal Reagan and What’s-his-name Limbaugh’s brother.
My vote went to Greene, because he fills me with joy. My heart is with Angle, though. This kind of monumental batshit crazy used to only come around once in a lifetime, but with the advent of 24-hour “news”, politics is no longer merely show biz for the uglies, though she definitely fits into that category, too.
[re=612152]WarAndG[/re]: Does 0% bother you too?
I have to go away and think about this round. Angle, Paul? Paul, Angle? The tie-breaker might be the ridiculous way she spells her first name.
I went with Angle for her ‘No abortion under any circumstances even if you are raped because God wanted you to get raped.’ That woman is seriously crazy.
Rand Paul–but how, exactly, do you cast your vote? Are there other awards, also? What, exactly, is being presented or awarded, and to whom?
What street is Solly’s U Street Tavern located on?
Can I do a write-in for Jonathan Krohn?
Lesseeee…. Barber and, especially, Rogers may actually be the most nuts of the lot, but they’re going nowhere. Alvin Greene leaves me cold. That leaves Angle and Young Paul; of these two troglodytes (seriously, Randy seems awfully dim for a doctor), Angle wins on spittle-flecked style points. After all, it should count for something that the Son of Ron hasn’t caled for the murder of his political opponents yet.
[re=612140]mumblyjoe[/re]: It’s really tough to beat somebody whose suing somebody else over using things she actually said against her. Paul maybe loony but I have begrudging respect for him because he’s sticking to some of his libertarian guns, although then denying he really meant to say that isn’t helping his cause
My heart will always be with Dale Peterson. Ride ‘em, Cowboy!
[re=612110]Oblios Cap[/re]: Not Paultards – Krugers (c).
Many will go away, but the Paultards will be floating blimps and huffing helium and tuning their special radios to the secret frequency only they can hear for years to come. Like Cheney, who spent his time in the wilderness gathering wickedness and contacts, they are summoning their inky cloak of stupidity and malignity, hammering at phrases for the perfect motto, and the spawn will be borne aloft, unable to rise on merit, just the way that failed spook and hack back stabber H.W. Bush’s did.
It seems like people keep voting for “most likely to politically succeed” in these rather than “most insane”; Rand Paul may be off, but the man has nothing on Angle in terms of pure crazysauce.
Coin flip between Rand Paul and Sharron Angle. Sharron won out. But it was difficult to choose between blatant racism and gun violence.
“Ke$ha” just got a pity vote.
[re=612123]Ken Layne[/re]: Is it weird that I look back with nostalgia for the days of Dracula Cunt. The ol’ DC is still my write-in candidate of choice.
I had to go with Rand. Angle will go away if rejected in this round. Rand will be like dog poop in a sneaker tread to the shoe politic, so to speak. Just like his old man, he’ll be back for more hijinks and fun.
Well no matter how we vote, Alvin is gonna win this thing…
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