Gustav Bozarth is a homeless man who lives in El Paso, a city in the Holy Sovereign Nation of Texas. Every day, he probably has to deal with people telling him to “git a jawwwwwwb” or calling him a “buhhhmmm,” or maybe just ignoring him. But now that surveillance video of Bozarth folding up a fallen flag has been broadcast on Fox News, Real American Patriots are waddling to the nearest socialist post office to send him money. Too bad Bozarth doesn’t have a home address where he can actually receive the money!
Reports the Fox News foxes:
Bozarth … braved driving rain and strong winds to carefully fold an American flag that fell to the ground when a storm knocked down a flagpole.
[...]
Social media sites have been flooded with comments expressing gratitude to the homeless man, calling him everything from a patriot to a “true American hero.”
“Give him a job, health insurance and a home!” one YouTube viewer posted under the surveillance video.
Sounds like socialism! Does this mean that all an American has to do to “deserve” basic human rights is to find a flag somewhere, and fold it? Sweet. (Oh — 61-star flags don’t count.)
Employees at Meti, Inc., a federal contractor and owner of the fallen flag, say they were “shocked” when they learned that the flag had ended up on the ground because of weather and not vandals, or the Vandals. But they were “even more shocked” to learn that the good Samaritan was homeless, because of their classist conditioning.
The Fox affiliate in Dallas reports that Bozarth lives behind a warehouse with two cats (Lynx and Bobcat) and a television (probably so he can watch flag-folding instructional videos). But no mailbox, or checking account! Which is making it very hard for his new patriot admirers to send him any money. But don’t worry, people are working on it. [Fox News]
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Fox News was highlighting the plight of a homeless person? But Ronald Reagan said people choose to be homeless. I’m confused.
Didn’t someone once say something about worth being determined by the content of your character? I guess character means care for patriotic symbols more than other simple acts of humanity. I would like to see a nation-wide drive to raise money for the bum who hands out free hand jobs in the 7th street subway bathroom. Now THAT’S an act of kindness I can get behind.
Sharron Angle and Michelle Bachmann are studying this money gathering angle.
Well, he’s white, natch. Had he been a filthy homeless BROWN they’d be screaming that he was attempting to steal it.
Don’t get no hobo beans juice on that there flag.
“Lovingly, Kevin Bacon draped the folds of Old Glory over the doll’s head glued onto the front of his U.S.M.C.-issue shopping cart . . . .”
From my new screenplay: “Taking Chancre.”
Next, On FAUX!
That IS very socialist of them … offering all sorts of aid and comfort to a homeless man. It’ll be even more fun when, if offered a job by any one of these hypocrites, Gustav can’t prove he’s legally eligible to work in the US! Then, we’ll see some heads explode.
Man, has the bar for heroism really gone down. Still, if the childish teabagger ‘ethics’ can alieviate this man’s suffering despite itself, cool.
If people send their money to Bozarth c/o Sarah Palin, I’m sure she’ll make sure that eh gets the money.
Bozarth? That sounds like demon’s name. Satan is setting them up.
Terry Savage drove by and bitched at him for not charging for his services.
Does this mean that all an American has to do to “deserve” basic human rights is to find a flag somewhere, and fold it?
NO. It has to be folded *correctly* into that triangular shape that God uses to play table-top football.
This is *not* easy. Folding the flag correctly is the rubik’s cube of patriotism.
I guess “Freedom isn’t Free…”
Love of country = patriotism
Love of flag = inability to distinguish between an emblem and the thing it represents.
[re=614315]RPolanski[/re]: Hahahahahaha!
Whenever I see those 50 stars and 13 stripes, I think of one word: “flag.”
He’s homeless but he has a television? Is it powered by something socialist like solar or wind energy? Or does he just have his cats do puppet shows where the screen used to be?
Don’t worry, the Fox viewers will still keep on with their habits of screaming at and spitting on every other homeless person in the country. If they even encounter them, since most probably live in exurbs where any homeless are arrested and sent on a van to be unloaded in the city.
There’s this homeless guy I see every day by the highway ramp. Today, he had a little American flag on his shopping cart. I was so touched that I actually slowed down when I threw my 47 cents in spare change at him.
At first, I thought somewhere an eagle weeps in patriotic joy, but I remembered that he folded the flag of the Obamanation? Socialist!
More importantly, those so-called “paleontologists” over there have finally gotten around to naming a new species of dinosaur after Mojo Nixon: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38156772/ns/technology_and_science-science/
Oh, they won’t admit it, but come on, you can’t kid a kidder.
[re=614325]Prommie[/re]: Joe Banks, eighty-two years young, has come to this pond every day for the past seventeen years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery. The ducks were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say, Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, [camera moves to another nearby pond] near those ducks. But it could be, that there’s just no room in this modern world, for an old man… and his ducks.
This is a classic move, by the way. You find one True guy to pity and elevate, one Jessica Lynch, and then you can feel better, because there is a “good one” out there, and you can shout at the next liberal, “I did my bit!”
It’s way better than taxes, because taxes might go to someone who you don’t like, and then, as Rick Barber proves via Abe Lincoln, it’s “slavery.”
But aren’t most Fox News teabagger viewers just one Disability/Social Security check away from being homeless and having to build a fort out of empty cheetos bags?
i lived in el paso for twenty-five years. it is not in texas. oh, sure, i know where the borders are, and i know what flags wave on what poles. pero el paso es en la frontera. it has much more in common with the mexicos, new and old, than it does with the massive land-grab known as texas. when people hear that a place is in texas, they think of dallas and houston and austin (and waco). el paso’s not like that, it’s much more civilized (though austin is also).
it’s also a far-flung colonial outpost of the united states, with a huge military base that’s home to two mechanized divisions. i know teabaggers in el paso who want to have those divisions sent storming into mexico, to kill brown-skinned catholic people who talk different. they figure that if enough brown-skinned catholic people who talk different are killed, the world they live in will be happy and peaceful and prosperous again. they can’t stand mexicans. i tell them, what the fuck are you doing living on the border with mexico if you can’t stand mexicans? get thee to idaho!
The plan was to fold it up and then burn it under the bridge that night.
..and this is Paul Harvey.
He’ll just spend it on more alcohol! So where do I send my Ameros?
[re=614342]slappypaddy[/re]: You should see Fort
EcstasyBliss today. They’re building more shit there than you can believe. Whether this will overwhelm the Hispanic essence of El Paso remains to be seen.**Great way of saying “I got no fuckin’ idea,” huh?
[re=614343]Radiotherapy[/re]: And that homeless man turned out to be Roy Cohn.
Just staying with the Simpsons theme…
Or maybe used the flag to earn a living, using it to clean windshields at stop lights.
[re=614334]Prommie[/re]: I think you nailed it. The discoverer was a post-doc (= can’t find a real perfesser’s job) and noticed differences in specimens in NYC’s American Museum of Natural History.
OT, but that guy holding the 61-star flag? That’s Governor Carcetti.
Eagle tears for Gus the Folder.
[re=614353]Radiotherapy[/re]: The Cubs are going to remname themselves in this guy’s honor. But instead of being the Gustav’s, they’ll now be known as the Folders.
[re=614357]harry palmer[/re]: ReName.
[re=614337]norbizness[/re]: Now thats real journalism.
I wondered what happened to joe the plumber.
[re=614316]JackDempsey[/re]: Tell me about it. I am responsible for folding a flag at one of the most prestigious places a flag is flown–the Grand Canyon. Its like origami with an irregular shaped piece of paper.
BUT I do chuckle the amount of people who do NOT know one whit of how to do it and give me mad props.
why is it that people who seem to love the USA the most are the ones that have been the most screwed by it?
The media spotlight sure puts a damper on slicing that thing up for toilet paper.
[re=614371]Way Cool Larry[/re]: We are a nation of battered women.
May the Bud Light flow like wine, the dang fence be built, and normal, unpatriotic homeless bums continue to be spat upon. This is a great day for true ‘merican patriotism.
[re=614371]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Nation of masochists … and retards.
[re=614337]norbizness[/re]: Great quote.
Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition
Lisa: That’s what Veterans Day is for, Bart
Bart: But is that really enough to honour our brave soldiers?
Lisa: They also have memorial day!
Bart: Oh Lisa maybe you’re right maybe you’re wrong, the important thing is that veterans deserve a day to honour them!
Lisa: They have TWO!
Bart: Well maybe they should have three, I’m Bart Simpson.
[re=614347]V572625694[/re]: i have so seen. it’s a huge expansion to the base. tens of thousands of new personnel being deployed. a construction boom that’s making el paso a place that is not suffering terribly from the economic implosion. war is so profitable! until it’s not.
[re=614315]RPolanski[/re]: Win.
So will he be standing up John McCain at campaign events next?
[re=614342]slappypaddy[/re]: It’s true – I visited El Paso years ago, and it seemed like we flew over featureless gravel for about 2 hours before we got there. It really is in the middle of nowhere..well, technically on the border between Nowhere and Mexico.
[re=614334]Prommie[/re]: mojo is everywhere.
[re=614334]Prommie[/re]: Are you sure that’s it, and not Mojo the helper monkey? Pray … for … Mojo.
It’s so sweet that a bunch of people were touched by a homeless man’s concern for the flag that they want to give him money. What’s disappointing is that they don’t see the essential humanity of a homeless person until he does something extraordinary — it’s like the homeless (and other disadvantaged people) are less than human until they do something superhuman to make up for it. It’s a nice way to preserve that self/other dichotomy that keeps mean people’s worldview intact so they never have to think of people who repel them as really just another possible version of themselves. I’d like to see those folks spend 24 hours homeless, and then they’d realize that folding a dropped flag was probably the least extraordinary thing that Mr. Bozarth did all day.
[re=614370]bynrdskynrd[/re]: “Its like origami with an irregular shaped piece of paper.”
How dare you equate this heathen Oriental paper-wadding with the ritual caressing of Old Glory.
I hereby revoke your flag-folding privileges. Where’s the rangers’ office?
Now you’re going to see homeless men folding flags everywhere you go.
So the people who put flags on pickup trucks and thongs are overcome with emotions at the sight of this? Good lord.
[re=614458]SayItWithWookies[/re]: While I’m with you in principle, I would say that crapping on the other side of the dumpster undercuts the flag thing. Wait no…shitting outside in an urban setting takes balls. As you were.
If they send him money, won’t that just encourage him to not get a job?
The stupid, it burns.
Next on Fox: How to shit in a coffee can while farting the national anthem.
A flag with 61 stars would be perfect for the Veterans of Future Wars.
welcome to the new Joe the Plumber! they’ll have him on Faux News claiming he was kicked nightly by liberal Clockwork Orange fans etc…
[re=614325]Prommie[/re]: I think “Oscaaars!!”
[re=614334]Prommie[/re]: Now, you know that “mojo” predates “Mojo”. Although, that skull ….
Please, teabaggers, send all your spare ameros to this deserving gentlemen . . . might even get him on his financial feet again. Anything to divert Sarah Palin’s unearned next grifter million from you rubes.
[re=614327]harry palmer[/re]: He’s totally stealing electricity.
[re=614370]bynrdskynrd[/re]: I folded a flag drunk at a bar during the World Cup and we did that shit right.
This proves that homeless people love America, too. And why not? They get to live in one of the few advanced industrial countries that encourages their homeless life-style.
[re=614994]Aurelio[/re]: Uh, forgot. USA! USA!
Is it[re=614372]nillawafer[/re]: Indeed, is it so unusual to fold toilet paper before using it?
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