Wonkette

Every time. . .• Bush mentions “freedom and sovereignty of the Iraq people” . . .1 drink.
• Bush condemns those who “hate freedom” . . . 1 drink.
• Bush hails our brave men and women fighting in Iraq . . . apply for the National Guard, have dental records taken, go to business school. Take as many drinks as you want.
• Bush pleas “if I had known” . . . pound forehead against bottle.
• Bush references Clinton administration’s “law enforcement” approach to terrorism . . . take a drag off of a cigar.
• Bush says “we will not back down” . . . shed a tear for Tom Petty.
• Bush vows to “revamp amd reform intelligence services” . . . Try to email a mugshot to a friend.
• Bush glances at a seating chart. . . change glasses.
• Bush calls on Helen Thomas . . . pop a Geritol.
• An analyst calls it a “presser”. . . hit self in head, grumble, take a drink.
• Fox crawl mentions causalities . . . sober up.

How Bush’s press conf. will screw up prime time [TV Barn]