Wonkette

It's nice that The Daily Show won the Emmy for best music, variety and comedy show. We hear 60 Minutes is up for it next year. Seriously: Congratulations. It was heartwarming to see the gigantic team of Daily Show writers get up on stage to accept the award — it sort of reminded us of the Kerry campaign. Speaking of which, even better than what the Emmys gave the Daily Show is what the Daily Show gave the Emmys: "Continental Skiff Boat Oarsmen for Veracity." Transcript continues after the jump.

V.O: George Washington sayeth he be honest.

WASHINGTON: I cannot tell a lie!
V.O.: But hear ye from those who knoweth him best.
VETERAN: I have served with George Washington.
I hath served with George Washington.
George Washington be not forthright about his war record.
Washington cares not a wit for his fellow man.
I know. My slave told me.

V.O.: And what of the legend crossing the Delaware? VETERAN: He was not on the boat for that fateful night George Washington slept here. This be not even the Delaware. Twas done at a tore trait studio in Weehawken. VETERAN: I still notice the contours of Washington's face. We thinks they appear a trifle Hessian. Look at him standing up in a boat. If he stands up in a boat, it's just bad boatsmanship. Think ye know George Washington, think ye again. My evidence be true. V.O.: This paid for by continental campaign.

[REUTERS/Robert Galbraith]