• February 15, 2012

You might recall that Tim Pawlenty distinguished himself this week by turning down federal sex-ed money and then money for health care for children. You probably think that this is just because Tim Pawlenty loves the thought of Minnesota’s young people catching sex diseases and then not being able to cure them, because they don’t [...]

Oh, sad face, did you know that the Republican National Committee, which solely exists to raise money for Republican candidates, has no money? It had money at one point, we suppose, but somehow it let it all slip through its fingers, or maybe nobody was giving new money to it because Republicans don’t like giving [...]

Why does Barack Obama refuse to cultivate a warm, tender relationship with George W. Bush? Is it because Bush is the jackass who is largely responsible for all the problems that are making Obama’s life so miserable? Or is it because Obama is a mean old sourpuss, and racist against Texans as well? The second [...]

Alaskans: worst people in the world, or worstest people? These are the same people who were blessed with 18 or so glorious months with Sarah Palin as their governor, 18 months comprising the very best period of time that they or any other humans will ever experience. Now they are being teased with the prospect [...]

Ever since the first filthy Irishman stumbled drunkenly down the gangplank of the HMS Filth-Deporter and was immediately hired as a New York City cop, taking that job away from a Real American, our nation has wondered how to deal with the tide of illegal immigrants flowing into this country. Making it illegal to come [...]

Bristol Palin is of course planning on showing off her lithe young body for the entertainment of millions of Americans on the hit new TV show Rubbing Yourself Up Against A Total Stranger With The Stars. This seems like it might actually contradict her stated life goal of convincing young girls to refrain from screwing [...]

Going on vacation is the best time to have one of the rooms in your house redecorated! Putting those words in that order is your key to enraging Americans everywhere, because Americans can not afford “redecoration” or “homes” or “rooms.” But elitist Barack Obama decided that his little trip to Gaysachusetts Island was the perfect [...]

Dick Armey sure seems like a jovial fellow, especially considering how often someone named “Dick Armey” must have gotten cruelly mocked as a child. In a lackadaisical interview with the Texas Tribune, he vaguely praises Rick Perry’s political opportunism, casually notes that Tom DeLay was a free-spending jerk, writes off Barack Obama’s 2012 chances, and [...]

“Glenn Beck,” a longtime collaborative performance art project run by a team of situationist pranksters, has moved into its next phase! Not content with posting dadaist nonsense on the GlennBeck.com URL — so on the nose! — the team acquired TheBlaze.com (the name refers to the power of flame to cleanse away man’s attempt to [...]

The latest Gallup poll is out and it is … not very good, if you like the Democratic Party in charge of the nation’s legislature! On the “generic ballot,” Republicans are now 10 points ahead of Democrats. To find a polling gap that large, you’d have to go back to … oh, never. There’s never [...]

By the Comics CurmudgeonYour cartoon correspondent has been looking at cartoons for Wonkette since roughly the Revolutionary War, during which time political cartoons haven’t changed much. You’d think that a man would burn out seeing endless weeping Statues of Liberty and fat generic Congressmen and “funny” Bush/Obama drawings with big ears. And you’d be right! [...]

HE DOESN’T WANT TO HAVE SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE … IF ONLY HE HADN’T PERSONALLY BANNED SAME-SEX MARRIAGE EVERYWHERE: Bush 2004 re-election architect and newly out gay person Ken Mehlman, aged 43, is a virgin! So Marc Ambinder says in a comment on his Atlantic blog. Ambinder is holding some kind of Q&A session about [...]

Oh, hey, did Levi Johnston do something to get his handsome but incipiently doughy face on TV again? Apparently! Or, at least, he said something noteworthy once he conned his way onto the CBS Early Show (though how hard could that have been, those people are desperate for stuff to put on the air and [...]

Your morning editor has an aversion to watching TV news of any political stripe, because it becomes impossible to block out the talking and the voices, they just keep coming at you, saying horrible, horrible things. But it seemed like it might be fun to watch a video in which Sarah Palin twitched and cooed [...]

Is Jimmy Carter the greatest president in history? Not only did he manage to free captured / arrested / kidnapped / whatever American Aijalon Mahli Gomes, but he also managed to get out of North Korea without having to party with the super-awkward Kim Jong-Il the way Bill Clinton did. Plus, he did not succumb [...]