Ken Layne
Ken Layne has been a writer at the "notorious political website" Wonkette since 2006. He has toiled for Gawker Media, Tabloid.net, AOL, UPI, the Los Angeles Examiner, LA City Beat, Prognosis, SPLOID and many other publications both living and dead.
The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview “her kind” (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin’ crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre [...]
It’s that special time of year when we all give thanks for 25% real unemployment, the never-ending recession and real-estate collapse, terrible schools, broken infrastructure, cops crushing the skulls of our lawfully protesting children, the scent of pepper spray in the air, a group of dangerous psychopaths running for one party’s nomination, and a bunch [...]
It’s time for the least-informed people in America to debate the whole world, or something! Welcome, happy thanksgiving! We finally have the CNN livefeed working, and now it’s time to painstakingly document the Brutal Idiocy we are about to be subjected to, for America.
8 p.m. Eastern Time, friends! And what will the jabbering idiots be discussing tonight, besides “whatever fever-porn nightmares emerge uninvited from their gaping mouths”? Foreign Policy! Oh this will be a delight, won’t it? BE HERE, BRING WEAPONS of LOVE & BARRELS of MARIJUANA. While you wait, enjoy (?) this collection of Rick Perry’s ultimate [...]
We don’t hear a whole lot about #OccupyLA because the City Council has been so cool about it. But now, after nearly two months of the City Hall lawn being used as a campground, the city leaders would like to politely move the protest off the grounds while also supporting its continued work. The solution, [...]
Everywhere, there is vacant real estate. Vacant storefronts, vacant warehouses, vacant McMansions and barns and especially big-city buildings stuck in some twilight of redevelopment or property speculation or repossession. The collapse of the Great Global Real Estate Bubble may have destroyed a lot of theoretical wealth, but it also left an abundance of places to [...]
How did America’s heavily militarized security guards for the 1% spend the work week? Oh, just pepper-spraying sitting students in the face, macing old ladies, stomping peaceful protesters, yanking women around by their ponytails, destroying libraries and bloodying the faces of America’s citizens. You know, what they’ve dreamed of doing for decades.
Hey kids, do you want to grow up to be a journalist? Here’s what journalists do: Spread official lies in the “mainstream media,” and also ignore whatever is actually happening around them, and always show the proper decorum when dealing with the Rich & Powerful. What else? Oh yeah, a good journalist also spends his [...]
There’s suddenly a whole lot of “bipartisan support” for a supposed anti-piracy law that will actually let the U.S. Government force American Internet providers to shut down all access to any website immediately. Why might that be a popular idea, in Congress, right about now? And why are these anti-government Republicans like Congressman Lamar Smith [...]
Did you hear some dude got capped in downtown Oakland the other day, and died? This happens a lot in the poor parts of Oakland, and elsewhere in the United States. But, thanks to the unrelated Occupy protest/camp currently occupying the grim downtown of Oak-Town, this gun killing got coverage all over the country. The [...]
Because of the great dishonor now associated with being a United States military veteran under the Kenyan Usurper Barack Obama, the Pentagon decided to change Veterans Day to Nigel Tufnel Day — you know, because it’s 11/11/11 according to a particular reading of the Western calendar, and because Nigel Tufnel was a historical druid saint [...]
We usually click “delete all” on the marketing press releases that flood the Wonkette Tips Line each day, but this Veterans Day Charity Auction thing to help veterans mauled and disfigured by Donald Rumsfeld’s murderous oil-company wars sounded kind of special: “Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is auctioning the opportunity for a winning bidder [...]
Dull little rich boy Mitt Romney can’t get Republicans to love him, because he loves the Wrong Jesus and also was the creator of Obamacare in Taxachusetts. The news media, meanwhile, will only write about where Herman Cain would’ve liked to stick his dong, and the money he paid to silence the ladies about his [...]
