Sara K. Smith
Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!
Hey, so, slow news month! Nothing much happening except the normal earthquakes and Iraqi elections and, of course, your usual totally innocent racist email about the Obamas which was thoughtlessly forwarded by some douche who just thought he was having some lighthearted fun, talking about monkeys and black people. This one comes from the CEO [...]
Your Earthquake of the Week is brought to you by the residents of eastern Turkey. [Xinhua] It’s International Women’s Day. Have you bought a card and flowers for your favorite international woman? [CNN] Men who have always longed to make love to a trash bag will be thrilled to hear that the city of Washington [...]
A certain nude senator from the state of Taxachusetts wowed the Tea Party Nation with his non-Martha-Coakleyness, which was enough to get him elected, but ever since then he has been SELLING OUT. Exhibit A: his outrageous vote for the jobs bill, which might someday result in actual employment for the lamers who currently spend [...]
If you’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with a quiet sense of dread and the distinct sensation that something terrible is about to happen, don’t worry! It’s just your subconscious wondering if anybody ever decided what to call that new John King show on CNN.
There’s no hot sexy sex in the Paterson scandal(s), but nonetheless it is causing a wave of staff resignations and speculation about the governor’s own longevity in office. [Buffalo News] A man in a business suit calmly walked into the lobby of the Pentagon — just four blocks from the domicile of an easily offended [...]
CHARLIE RANGEL TAKING A ‘LEAVE OF ABSENCE’ FROM WAYS AND MEANS DURING ETHICS PROBE: Good lord, this is what the man gets for taking some hot Caribbean vacations on the dime of The Corporates? What else is the point of government? Anyway so much for giving Nancy Pelosi his WORD that he would chair his [...]
Welcome to the wonderful world of Cable News Maths, where an extra $191 magically disappears from your colonoscopy bill because … BUTTHOLES! Thanks to “Max” for the screencap. [CNN]
Jim Bunning, the bitterest old dick in the Senate, has finally decided to let unemployed people continue to collect unemployment benefits. [USA Today] Charlie Rangel will not resign as the chairman of the House Ways and Means committee, even though he is a sinner who enjoyed the pleasures of a rent-controlled New York City apartment [...]
A killer whale at SeaWorld Orlando has claimed a third victim. [Orlando Sentinel] Huzzah, today is President Obama’s famous “health care summit,” in which Jeb Hensarling will be fed poisoned cucumber sandwiches by White House chef Cristeta Comerford, and all will be broadcast live in HD on C-SPANS’s Congressional Snuff Channel. [Washington Post] Paterson bombshell!!!!: [...]
Oh look it’s some gross news about the gross governor of Nevada, one Jim Gibbons, who once disgusted his state of hookers and gambling addicts by assaulting a waitress! According to a legal deposition, Jim Gibbons has not gotten laid by a lady since nineteen hundred and ninety-five.
Bristol Palin, who never asked to be famous and just wants her privacy, is now famous and has no privacy, hooray! She will appear on some show on a channel in the middle of the “family programming” wasteland of your cable box, playing herself. This is exactly how Meryl Streep got her first Academy Award [...]
Dog-torturing inflatable Mormon Mitt Romney has endorsed John McCain, who has taken even more craven positions in his Senate re-election bid than he did in his failed semi-effort to become president. [AP] Everyone is scared that President Obama is going to take away their guns, which is to be honest probably not a huge priority [...]
John Dingell, an ancient swamp-beast summoned by medieval druids to ruin Al Gore’s bid for the presidency by forcing the VP to utter the hilarious phrase “Dingell-Norwood” in a 2000 debate with George W. Bush, has been serving in Congress for six hundred million years — longer than all Kennedys combined! And now, at the [...]
