Wonkette

There is no reason, ever, to invite racist ex-Congressman failure Tom Tancredo onto any television show, or at least the political ones. So thank you Tom Tancredo for graciously acknowledging your unimportance and leaving the set mid-interview! MORE »

Knock-knock! Ezra Klein, are you there? So. There is sexual predator that rides the same bus as you. He knows your name. He likes you. In a sexual way. Next time you take the bus, look around you. Is there a strange man staring at you as he touches himself? THAT’S HIM! [DCist] MORE »

Now now, liberals, you can no longer smugly declare in political arguments, “the Republicans don’t even have a health care plan,” because they do! John Boehner released the GOP alternative plan a few days ago, and the CBO scored it, to much fanfare. It is but a modest (Very Responsible Centrist) plan to save America from the Muslims. One of its central tenets — and the health care thing you’ve been hearing Republicans blab on about most, after they’ve exhausted tort reform — is to allow consumers to purchase health care plans across state lines. Doesn’t that sound nice, for competition and pricing? But what if… what if many of the health insurers then set up shop in the “state” of the Northern Marianas, where there is not a single law against anything? MORE »

Saturday, November 7 through Sunday, November 29: Lost In Yonkers, a play about a very dysfunctional Jewish family, will make you 1) regret your decision to go home for Thanksgiving and 2) crave a delicious corned beef sandwich. [Theater J] MORE »

If you live in Wisconsin, then… sorry? What were we going to write about here… ah, yes: if you live in Wisconsin, then you should go see Sarah Palin speak tonight! She will be making an appearance in Milwaukee on behalf of Wisconsin Right to Life, presumably the anti-capital punishment outfit up there. Only caveat: you cannot bring anything to this event. Anything at all. After tonight, Sarah Palin would like there to be no proof that she was ever in Milwaukee. (And maybe she isn’t!) MORE »

Fox News’ in-house eugenicist Brian Kilmeade had a provocative suggestion this morning, on his network’s A.M. comedy show: “KILMEADE: Do you think it’s time for the military to have special debriefings of Muslim Army officers — anybody enlisted?…Because if I’m going to be deployed in a foxhole, if I’m going to be sticking in an outpost, I got to know the guy next to me is not going to want to kill me.” Got to know it, man, Brian’s just got to know it. MORE »

Hot date! Southern gentleman and rhetorician REP. JOE WILSON (R-SC) has been given the honor of escorting German Chancellor-Frau ANGELA MERKEL to the 20th annual Berlin Wall Ball. But will Joe be ready for the big night? Where will he find a corsage that compliments Angela’s captivating blue eyes? And can he trust the ILLEGAL ALIENS who work at the dry cleaners with his tailcoat? And does he remember how to waltz? Gossip mongers report that Joe has been practicing his footwork all week: 1-2-SCREAM, 1-2-SCREAM, 1-2-SCREAM. Very rhythmic, that Joe Wilson. He’s got those happy feet, moves with the music … MORE »

Hey, moron with the “health care reform = Dachau” sign at yesterday’s protest: freaking Elie Wiesel hates you, or at the very least… you know… considers that a false equivalency. On Twitter. [Twitter]

Wonkette motorist operative “Marcus” sent us this telephone picture of the rather uncouth car he was stuck behind yesterday, during the Super Bowl of Retardation. This fellow hates Obama so much that he — and we’re presuming “he,” because how unladylike! — chose to attach a massive cut-out of a donkey shitting Obama’s head on his rear windshield, at the expense of his visibility. Another sticker reads, “King’s Dream is a Nightmare.” Oh that silly Martin Luther King Jr., always ripe for a joke. After the jump, another wacky leftover operative photo, from a Hill office. MORE »

So here’s this new affecting radio spot from the American Future Fund, in which Nancy Pelosi is a pirate, right?, because her last name begins with “P”. No, wait. Nancy Pelosi is like the Speaker of the House pirate who is forcing all the other Congress pirates to walk the plank, even though they’re her own crew members. It’s like actual pirates do, yeah? [YouTube]

Look kids, this is what 10% unemployment looks like — one Men’s Room sign out of ten is filled with warm piss! The very important New York Times graphic adds, “That’s 15.7 million people. If the unemployed lived in one state, it would be the country’s fifth largest.” Great! Move ‘em all to one state, nuke it a few times, problem solved. [NYT]