Wonkette: The D.C. Gossip

EXCLUSIVE: North Hollywood Middle School Teacher Wonders Why McCain Campaign Is Dumb

Ken Layne — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:28:20 +0000

Your editor’s sort-of relative teaches at Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood! We knew she taught in the Valley but did not know where, exactly — and she is right there, at the heart of the failure of the John McCain Campaign and its weird attempt to put some kind of picture related to Walter Reed Army Hospital behind McCain’s head during his big acceptance speech about his plane crash 40 years ago, even if all most of you saw, on the teevee, was yet another dumb “green screen” behind his bald skull, just waiting for web geeks to fill that vapid void with dancing hobbits, furry porn or Abu Ghraib photographs. Anyway ….

The teacher writes:

Did you watch McCain’s speech? Evidently, the school where I work ended up making its way into the Republican Convention. It seems that there should have been a picture of Walter Reed Hospital (related to McCain’s release as a POW), but Walter Reed Middle School was used in the background.

It was so funny that a lot of reporters had nothing better to do on Friday. (I guess that’s actually good news — there must have been very little bad news if they had time to get to this story.) The poor office staff and principal had to keep answering phone calls and just saying it was a mistake. I saw reporters after school — interviewing people (parents?) and taking photos.

The McCain campaign, instead of simply copping to a screwup, as it sort of did originally, is now claiming that the random use of this school picture was, er, intentional. LAT’s Top of the Ticket blog reports:

Eventually, the McCain camp today issued a statement insisting that that no mistake had been made. “The changing image-screen was linked to the American thematics of the speech and the public school was simply part of it,” said spokesman Tucker Bounds.

Our teacher-in-law’s principal is repulsed by the whole thing, becoming the latest in an endless line of performers, writers and institutions disgusted and appalled by the McCain Campaign’s illegal and amoral use of images, songs and words created by good people:

It has been brought to the school’s attention that a picture of the front of our school, Walter Reed Middle School, was used as a backdrop at the Republican National Convention. Permission to use the front of our school for the Republican National Convention was not given by our school nor is the use of our school’s picture an endorsement of any political party or view.

Meanwhile, Sarah Palin has purchased this entire school, with government earmark money, to instruct her 7,000 children how to ride exhaust-belching snowmobiles around the trailer park instead of working, and how dinosaurs never existed.

EARLIER: Green Screen Behind McCain Actually Lawn of, Uh, Middle School In, Uh, North Hollywood

Press Will Never Get To Ask Sarah Palin Any Questions, Because She’s Studying

Jim Newell — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:03:32 +0000

Two weeks before Sarah Palin will talk to anyone. It’s like cramming for the LSAT in two weeks, except in this case, the LSAT is “the entirety of foreign and domestic United States policy,” which has nothing to do with The Law. [YouTube]

Ken Layne — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:16:33 +0000

GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST. PAUL: “The Republican convention was a neat, quaint operation. Nobody expected anything flashy or fun or interesting, and nobody expected any answer to America’s economic and military collapse beyond an oft-told 40-year-old shaggy dog tale of an old man who crashed a plane into the village he was bombing, back when he was young, and his brave story of personal redemption as his father continued mercilessly killing the Vietnamese children for another five-and-a-half years.” [AOL Political Machine]

Obviously, Sarah Palin Is Racist

Jim Newell — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:25:12 +0000

“‘So Sambo beat the bitch!’ This is how Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin described Barack Obama’s win over Hillary Clinton to political colleagues in a restaurant a few days after Obama locked up the Democratic Party presidential nomination.” How dare sexist lipstick dog Sarah Palin call Hillary Clinton a “bitch.” [LA Progressive]

John McCain Will Finally Finish Destroying America’s Financial System

Ken Layne — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:13:15 +0000

Hmm, this sounds kind of familiar if you remember the Keating Five and S&L Collapse: “Nevada regulators have shut down Silver State Bank. It was the 11th failure this year of a federally insured bank. Andrew McCain, son of Republican presidential nominee John McCain, was a member of the bank’s board, but recently stepped down for ‘personal reasons …. ‘” Ha, whatever, McCain Crime Family. Meanwhile, the federal government is about to seize mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. [AP via Cryptogon/Wall Street Journal]

Near-Terrorism, Near Thunderstorms

Juli Weiner — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:48:31 +0000

Sexist Maryland Hurricane Planner Robert Ward says that the trouble with Tropical Storm Hanna is that it is so unpredictable and won’t make up its mind. It will make 18 million cracks in his glass ceiling, just for that. [DC Examiner]
Near-terrorism — featuring a Jeep Cherokee and “items of concern” — at the Library of Congress. [WTOP]
More near-terrorism at Target, as 200 shoppers are told to stop shopping and go home following a bomb threat. [DCist]
Your Redskins lost the big game last night to the Super Bowl champions, the New York Giants. Remember: no Partisan Rancor! [City Paper]
DC panhandlers will keep bragging about how they were in prison until you buy them weed. [Ezra Klein]

Sarah Palin Always Breaking the Law In Typical Snowbilly Fashion

Ken Layne — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:09:37 +0000

If only John McCain had learned about the Internet before he chose Sarah Palin — so much “cyber vetting” could’ve happened. Instead, a bunch of hungover libtard bloggers are using their favorite friend (the Internet) to dig up all kinds of half-ass semi-comical crimes committed by that beloved Alaskan anger-bear, Sarah Palin.

From the official Alaska state courts’ website, we have learned that our former GILF/VPILF is basically getting arrested all the time for dumb redneck bullshit, exactly like you’d expect:

In June of 1993, Sarah was charged with C/F W/O PHOTO ID — a charge that was later, suspiciously, dismissed. “C/F” stands for “Caribou Fucking.”
Just two days later, charges were filed against Sarah Palin for CRIM NEG FAIL REG NT, which actually translates to “criminal negligence fail register NT.” We don’t know what “NT” stands for — “Nutcase”? “Walnuts”? It probably involved destroying the environment.
And just a few years ago, in November 2004 when she was supposedly a responsible member of society with four kids, she was cited for the unforgivable snowbilly crime of TINTED WINDOWS, which is the inexplicable thing all rednecks do their vehicles, the illegal window tint film shit you buy down at the dubious car-stereo/rims shop.

Thanks to Wonkette Operative “Will P.” for finding these particular gems.