Wonkette

Operative “Randy C,” of fleeting Halloween costume Internet fame, has graciously donated his “pubic option” poster to the teabaggers. Is that pastor taking a shine to it? Meanwhile, another Hill operative reports on an overheard conversation between two members of the mobilizing force: MORE »

A second-degree operative sends this photo and writes, “My cousin is a congressional staffer, I got sent this picture outside the capitol building today…” So we know that THE TRUTH TRUCK is in town for the Super Bowl of Retardation, and now it is barreling down the halls of Rayburn, crushin’ skulls.

• HILL OPERATIVES, WE NEED YOU: Much as we’d love to visit the Super Bowl of Retardation this afternoon, we are somewhat low on regular staff these days (have you noticed?) and someone must be “at the desk.” Operatives, this is your time to shine! Tips@wonkette.com! Send photos of Rand Paul breaking into your boss’s office! And if you send e-mails like, “I can see the west lawn of the Capitol from my window, and the entire lawn is full of tea partiers,” maybe attach a photograph.

So nine martyr-combatants stormed and briefly occupied the office of Joe Lieberman this morning. After chanting about health care—”Everyone in and no one out, universal health care now!” and “Represent Connecticut, not AETNA!”—they were dragged away and arrested. MEANWHILE: We have not yet heard from Editor Jim Newell this morning! [TPM]

Oh please look at the tragic press release for Bill Donohue’s new-ish book, Secular Sabotage. Not one person—not a single graphic design intern, or PR guy, or someone at the publisher’s office—had any objection to including this blurb. Chilling. (Thank you to Wonkette Informant “Dan T.”) [Catholic League]

Hot on the heels of yesterday’s impossibly exciting news of the opportunity to pay at least $70 to hear Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton sitting in adjacent armchairs and mumble talking points in a vaguely conversational rhythm: a cancellation of that exact thing! Apparently everyone was too into it, and this is why it had to end before it began. According to some Clinton spokesperson: “This event … was supposed to be a discussion between the two former presidents, and has been cancelled because it was not being billed as such by an overeager promoter.” How dare the promoter describe the event in such a way as to attempt to convince people to attend?  [New York Post]

• Last night the Yankees baseball team won the competition that determines the best baseball team of all the other baseball teams! [New York Times]
• 600 UN staffers in Afghanistan will leave the country for a few weeks while the UN works to find them housing that will be harder to blow up. [Washington Post]
• Hurricane Ida is currently in the midst of hitting Nicaragua. It’s expected to bring with it 25 inches of rain, mudslides, all the tradition hurricane accoutrement, etc. [CNN]
• Exxon Mobil and Shell have won the World Series of receiving the rights to oil fields in southern Iraq! The Phillies did not win this either. [WSJ]
• Cash bonuses on Wall Street will be up 40% this year. [Reuters]
• Later this week, Toyota will be sending out a drivers’ mat recall, as the acceleration pedal can get caught in drivers’ mats in certain models. [Los Angeles Times]

• BACHMANN’S CHIEF OF STAFF QUITS: Michelle Marston, who has helped Michele Bachmann project her radioactive insanity to a larger audience since becoming chief of staff in early 2008, quit that job today — one day before Bachmann’s “Super Bowl of Freedom,” on Capitol Hill. Marston will not disclose her reasons, which is great, because now we all can just make shit up! THEY HAD A BIG FIGHT B/C THEY HATE EACH OTHER, a “well-sourced Washington lawyer” tells us. [Politico]

Wednesday, November 4: If you are even remotely considering cooking for Thanksgiving, we highly, highly recommend attending the Thanksgiving-themed cooking classes at Zola Wine & Kitchen. Shelling out a few extra bucks to learn how to make a turkey is a much better idea than serving a burnt, inedible one on Thanksgiving. [Zola Wine & Kitchen] MORE »

The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), a vestigial structure in the American political apparatus dating back to old times when people “stopped working” at a certain age and lived off of pensions (nowadays it’s more common to work forever, after Wall Street loots your life savings from the 401(k) it pushed you into), will supposedly be endorsing the super-communist House health care bill. Your death warrant’s signed, Granny! This is great news in that it gives us an excuse to link to this comical AARP article about old people sexting each other. “‘The next thing you know, you’ll get a picture of a breast,’ he says with a hearty laugh.” [AP, AARP]

NOT FOR EPILEPTICS. If you care about elitist “context” (BOOOO!), Gizmodo can give you context. [Gizmodo]