Wonkette
Not that Al Franken is any great shakes, but you’d think that if the NRSC wanted to put out a “Hollywood Stars against Franken”-themed ad then they could’ve drummed up a better coterie than a forgotten SNL cast member from 20 years ago, a lesser Baldwin, two other guys we’ve never heard of in our lives, and finally the big showstopper: a cheesy singer famous for stealing rock & roll songs from black people in the ’50s so that they could be repackaged into powdery, “family-friendly” background noise. The NRSC also decided to have this very old Pat Boone appear without a shirt, because he is fishing in his swimming pool. If only we had Lawrence Welk around to do the old flapping dickey, then we’d have a show! [YouTube]
DAMN KIDS
With ads like this, the Democrats should have an 80-seat majority
Wonkette doesn’t know John Ratzenberger? It’s Cliffie! And a voice from like every Pixar movie. Still, though.
I think i got a single frame for a second of a penis that resembles john mccain’s head. subliminal stuff works man.
“We in Hollywood . . . .”???
My God, but Victoria Jackson turned into a Southern California Land Whale.
I had no idea that Sally Struthers was a Republican.
you shut your mouth Jim Newell, The Goonies would have been NOTHING without one Robert Davi!!!
It’s an all-star cast of “that ones”! Although it’s sad to see Cliff Claven go GOP. I always figured a government employee from Taxachusetts would be in the D column.
What is that smell? Is it the reek of desperation?
I feel dirty.
Come on, you dudes have seen Robert Davi! Everyone who’s watched at least one movie in the last 20 years has seen Robert Davi. He was one of the FBI agents in Die Hard! He was in one of the shitty 80s Bond movies with Timothy Dalton, I think.
Ratzenberger was the unkindest cut of all though. Him and George Wendt must have had a falling out over pussy cancer and he defected to the Repubs.
Yeah fuck you, I’ll shoehorn a TV Funhouse reference anywhere anytime and you can’t stop me.
Pat Boone has sniffed way too much white patent-leather shoe polish over the years. And Cliffie (John R.), well, we all remember Cliffie. It’s like being dissed by the crazy cat lady and her crazy cat.
Jim Newell, you need to watch more 70s television! The dude in the studio is from Hawaii Five-O, and the old guy in the beginning is Mad Jack from Grizzly Adams. The blond is obviously Sally Struthers’ retarded sister, and there are subliminal 1-frame flashes of Al Franken fucking a donkey with a hockey stick.
Robert Davi?
Wasn’t his most memorable role in…
The Goonies?
Also, oh shit, Victoria Jackson? Who will they pull out of the woodwork next, Tim Kazurinsky? There’s literally hundreds of former SNL cast members they could call on to throw Franken under the bus for the price of, oh, say, a two day old tuna sandwich. I hope the GOP decides to try and call Charles Rocket, that will be awk-ward!
oddly, i find myself wanting more… i think i am a masochist
What no Wilford Brimley? Oh, he was scheduled to be in the ad until Victoria Jackson ate him.
Neilist: I guess she couldn’t keep the weight off after Celebrity Fit. What a flip-flopper.
At least this video busts open the myth about Hollywood being for the pretty people. I haven’t seen this much ugly in one spot since, well, the last Palin rally vid.
Some choice quotes from Victoria Jackson’s personal website. I shit you not:
“Thank you President George W. Bush (along with God above) for keeping us safe these last 7 years, from terrorist attacks on our homeland. I really appreciate it very much. xxoo You did a Great job! And, Thank you God above for giving us George W. Bush, and for giving us John McCain and Sarah Palin.”
“I don’t want a political label, but Obama bears traits that resemble the anti-Christ and I’m scared to death that un-educated people will ignorantly vote him into office.”
LOLOLOLOLOLOULULZ
Wow, now I don’t feel so guilty not doing any campaign volunteer work here in MN; clearly, this will put Coleman over the top.
(I assure you I shall have a timely rejoinder to this post as soon as I can recall a memorable skit featuring Victoria Jackson.)
Wait, I thought no one cared what celebrities thought and they were all vapid airheads and not real ‘Muricans? Oh GOP, you’ve done it again! You and your wacky death throes!
This guy Robert Davi’s a Z list actor along with that trash blonde bitch Vicki, Stephen ” shit for brains ” Baldwin and John Ratzenface talking like people give a shit about what they think. They’re all tools, Davi cleans the bar, Vicki hooks in the bar, ratzenface gets shit face and fuck Vicki in the back, Stephen’s trying to pick up dudes on the sly….. who the fuck is Pat Boone?
Casual Sex with Lea Thompson. Hmmm…yes please.
Ratz has been quite the whore for a while now. Apparently he was on that Dancing with the has-beens show last season, so if you’re interested, you can watch John do the Samba on the Youtubes.
Stephen Baldwin aka the Retarded Baldwin Bro? Who the hell would take anyone who starred in BioDome seriously?
I know i saw the retarded blonde in a episode of the xfiles. Also what the fuck is this ad supposed to get across? They couldn’t drag anyone more relevant?
Is the premise that all these people are from Minnesota and therefore have some sort of residual interest in whom the Gopher Staters send to the senate? If I weren’t too lazy to IMDB them all, I’d be furious, maybe.
Wow! What did Franken have to pay these guys?… BTW: Best. Pat. Boone. Evah!
The Spanish-language version features Chico Escuela.
ManchuCandidate: Hey man, BioDome brought him to Jesus, don’t mock that (I wish I was joking about this).
ManchuCandidate: Pauly Shore?
ManchuCandidate: McCain/Palin supporters????????????
Does anyone have an extra barf bag? Mine’s full now.
I must have been zoned out from all the hair product I was sniffing back in the 80s, but who ARE these people?
And where did the fat blond drag queen get that shade of blond?
wasn’t davi in showgirls? FAMILY VALUES
Pat Boone’s gonna be dead, and you’re gonna say “I’ve been listening to him for years, and I think he’s fabulous.”
Ick, washed up Repulicans, oh..wait, they were famous once?
Damn this campaign! First John McCain turns his back on his honor, now Cliff and Victoria Jackson. Are there any American heroes left?
They couldn’t get Angie Harmon? (or was it Carrie Lowell?)
There’s laser surgery that can help him with those acne scars.
He probably was in between jobs, and was the second choice to
James Woods. I wonder how much the RNC paid him to do this?
slappypaddy: I once spotted Boone huffing up W. 58th Street, mid-summer, in full-on heavy metal black leather regalia. Must have been in town, whoring it up, or promoting his new metal album. Or both.
http://www.babble-on-recording.com/babble_blog/files/0_blog_entry1125_1.jpg
They should have picked the cast and crew of American Carol–after that bomb, they could use the money!
Why are all Boone’s such assholes?
Victoria Jackson is a loonypants.
AlexTrebeksGirl: Here the dickhead, in the pool.
http://xb8.xanga.com/bcbf110003c35205407879/z159673920.jpg
Et tu, Cliffie?
If only they hadn’t been blacklisted for being openly Republican actors, they each would have had illustrious hollywood careers.
They couldn’t even get James Caan? At least he still (kind of) has name value at this point.
Would have been great if they could have gotten Paul Gleason, who starred with Franken in “Trading Places” as Beeks (the Gordon Liddy type who was sodomized by a gorilla).
What? Dead? Never mind.
This election is bringing out the closet stupids. I see Victoria Jackson is still not funny and still has Downs.
Not Robert Davi! Noooo. Who is he?
Joe The Plumber: Obama Will Bring “Death Of Israel”…
This is a news story today. Does this fucker ever plumb?
I’m confused, was this from the Retards for Norm Coleman 527?
Oh, I see: the National Republican Senatorial Committee. Same thing.
One crucial element they forgot, though: In order to be a has-been, you have to, at one time, have been.
Quick get Kathy Griffin!!!!
palmerdawg: Pat Boone is Daniel Boone’s older sister.
Confession: I’d heard of Pat Boone before now, but I presumed Pat was a woman (like Pat Nixon).
If only I’d bought those 300 Classic Country CDs for $29.99 that Kenny Rogers is always selling on TV, I would have known. And I’d finally have songs like “Tie A Yellow Ribbon” to treasure too.
NYNYNY: Does this fucker ever plumb?
Just the depths of stupid.
We need to look hip. Someone get the Baldwin an Ipod!
nurple: Yes, it is the Marlboro lady who is the Jesus Freak Republican. I doubt that Carey Lowell is a Republican since she’s married to Richard Gere.
Actually star studded pro-Franken campaign commercial in 3….2…..1!
Ratzenberger may have come from the midwest, but I think he lives in Seattle, and has a small sailboat I read about in Wooden Boat. Damn hippie. Lakes arent’ good enough for you?
I’m not deciding until Ruth Buzzi weighs in.
user-of-owls: Eric Estrada was unavialable?
Remember when Victoria Jackson was sexy? Yeah, me neither.
It’s a cavalcade of flapping dickeys!
This is only a shade away from an over-the-toply esoteric Al Franken sketch. Laughed ’til I thought I’d cry.
Kinda like seeing whatsername, the chick from dearly departed “Northern Exposure,” trying to blather out her Palin talking points in spite of all that collagen in her lips yesterday on Larry King.
Ironically enough, they only have careers when a dem is in power.
Who are the unattractive Republican celebrities backing?
Scarab: At least now we know Victoria’s Secret: ThunderThighs.
I’m going to sexist hell, aren’t I?
Is Anita Bryant dead? She should be starring in this.
NYNYNY: Why wont he just shut the fuck up.
Dave J.: I recall her whoring her child out in a semi-recurring ‘Psychic Baby Scarlett’ sketch, so presumably she has a lot in common with Palin. Beyond that, I can only recall her ‘I Am Not a Bimbo’ song, which I think we now have conclusive proof was, in fact, false.
She’s no Jan Hooks.
I might be inclined to listen to what these “Hollywood stars” have to say, but, quite frankenly, who fuckin’ cares what any of them think about this or any other thing, at all, ever?
I will withhold judgement on the Coleman/Franken race until I hear from Daddy Yankee.
chascates: She’s dead, but her ghost is afoot, spooking bitterz.
say what you will about Al, but i know I will be forever grateful to him for getting a book called “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot” on the bestseller list
Now if only we could get that “Bill O’Reilly is an Ignorant Pig-Fucking Super Douche” book published
Never mind crappy videos, shouldn’t we be considering back in South Ossetia whether “both sides should show restraint”, or whether “we’re all Georgians now”. Because, you know, we’d all love to be tarred with the brush of genocide. Good one, Walnuts!
(For those too lazy to follow the link, the BBC has uncovered evidence of Georgian attacks against civilians in South Ossetia.)
nmmagayar: Estrada played bery, bery bad in efocus groups.
Pathetique!
user-of-owls: I thought the spanish language version might nab Estoban Colberto and his chickas.
superfecta:
She’s no Gilbert Gottfried.
iwillsavethispatient: Wait, I thought he meant we were supposed to drink more sweet tea and deep fry everything we ate. I gained 35 pounds for nothing? Once again, I hate McCain.
HUH?
That’s just sad.
And where’s Eb from Green Acres?
DustBowlBlues: By law, Don Francisco and Sabado Gigante, Inc. own the rights to all broadcast chicas. In other words:
All your babes are belong to him.
This cant be serious can it??????????????????????????
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/wirthlins-take-their-sob-story-road
I left the site for one minute, went over to Huffy P and ran right into Joe ” the sneaky bastard ” plumber talking about Israel, WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!!!!!!!!
Neilist: Just like all white of a certain age who love Jesus. And cats. Jesus and Cats.
Deepthroat: Monkey: Look YOU, I’m sorry I’m not 2.5 million years old and on old people Medicare or old people Social Security. Although both of those things would be nice to have right now.
shortsshortsshorts: James Finnemore Boone is a twat, not an asshole.
iwillsavethispatient: palmerdawg: I really hope that an Obama presidency will be the type that will have the common sense to say, “Russia & Georgia, you are both in the wrong here, and Israel & Palestine, I will deal with you two as well.” The boo-hooray approach to foreign policy does not yield long-term positive results.
What, no mention of Frankenstein? Such low hanging fruit dropping going to waste.
I feel so betrayed, Victoria Jackson! I always stood up for you when people said you weren’t funny!
user-of-owls: donde es Charo?
Are you SURE that this is not an
ad from the ***D* SCC? sure looks like it.
Who the hell are these people.
I think the first guy played McGyver’s pilot buddy.
Victoria Jackson played herself for all those years on SNL.
Jesus christ is Davi that ‘FRATTELLI BROTHER’ FROM GOONIES?
FUCK ALL.
bitchincamaro: Holy shit that was fucktastic.
At the :20 mark, Pat Boone appears to be not-dead. Did anyone else catch that?
Worlds End: Holy shit, i think it just might be!?
“step 4: Pray!”
Crab1: Crab1: *white women* (…stupid, sexy vicodin)
palmerdawg: He’s an expert on foreign policy. Is he Jewish? I think his last name is a problem pronunciation wise. Maybe he should change his name for real to the craptastic new name he has. I bet lots of uptight christian chicks are having sex with him because of his new fame.
Well japan is in the tank even more than they already were.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/28/obama-japan-goes-crazy-ov_n_138646.html
AlexTrebeksGirl: Im sure the trailer park is all over that
I watched in on mute, but basically what it is saying is a guy from Nick at Nite and some other people don’t like Al Franken very much. Is that basically it?
Deepthroat: Yeah………… it makes me wonder how people like that manage to get dress by themselves in the morning
eeeeewww. stephen baldwin’s beady little born again eyes make my balls ache so much I just want to grudge fuck him. He can call me Alec if he wants to, I don’t mind.
OffTheRecord: Yeah thats basically it.
I vaguely remember reading an interview with Victoria Jackson in which she complained about all the evil sinners on SNL and how Franken was mean to her and mocked Christianity so she told he was going to hell. So her hatred of Al has been fairly long standing.