Remainders: Still Inside the Media Bubble

• Rush Limbaugh on Hillary Clinton: “She sounds like a screeching ex-wife.” Heh, he should know. [Media Matters]

• Former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan lands an $8.5 million book deal — and he doesn't even blog. [NYT]

• If you liked the Martin Sheen sighting from today's installment of Wonk'd, you'll love these “West Wing” stalker photos. [DCist via Law Dork]

• Yeah, we disagreed with a lot of Tom Shales's Oscar commentary too (such as his description of Reese Witherspoon's acceptance speech as “ingenuous” and “beguiling”). [tomatoes are delicious]

READ MORE: Media, Remainders, academy awards, alan greenspan, book deals, dcist, hillary clinton, hillary rodham clinton, hollywood, inside the bubble, law dork, martin sheen, media matters, oscars, reese witherspoon, rush limbaugh, tomatoes are delicious, west wing

Remainders: Our Post-Oscars Celebrity Hangover

• Brokeback Mountain fans: sore losers? [HuffPo]

• No, that wasn't Jeff Gannon sitting next to George Clooney at the Oscars. [The Gilded Moose]

• A libertarian's take on the Oscars. [Hit & Run]

• If celebs can't escape the media glare, they might as well try to control it. [WSJ]

READ MORE: Personalities, Remainders, academy awards, awards, brokeback mountain, celebrities, crash, famous-for-famous, george clooney, hollywood, jeff gannon, movies, oscars

The Oscars: Our Guide To Faking It

So you didn't watch the Academy Awards last night. Well, that's okay; with the help of this handy little guide, you can pretend that you did.

The Oscars lie more squarely within the jurisdiction of our L.A. and New York siblings (whose coverage is available here and here). But since the awards were fairly political this year — which shouldn't be surprising, with Jon Stewart as host — we'll put in our two cents.

If the Oscars come up as a topic at the water cooler or around the lunch table today, here's just enough material for you to participate intelligently in the conversation:

• Your favorite political joke of the night (from host Jon Stewart): “I do have some sad news to report. Bjork could not be here. She was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her.”

• Your favorite — or least favorite, depending on your point of view — acceptance speech: George Clooney (a.k.a. Hamas leader Khaled Meshal). After noting how Hollywood was ahead of its time on a number of political issues, from civil rights to AIDS, Clooney proclaimed himself “proud to be out of touch.”

• Your theory as to why “Crash” prevailed over “Brokeback Mountain” for best picture (courtesy of Adam Cohen of the Times, as well as a screenwriter friend of ours): “Oh, well, the 'Crash' win wasn't that surprising to me. The Academy demographic skews older, and Hollywood is always a few decades behind when it comes to picking message movies. So of course they'd go with the 'racism is bad' movie over the 'yay gay people' movie.”

Finally, for all you ladies out there, you can't pretend to have watched the Oscars without having a random fashion quip to offer. So here's one for starters: “Look, I know Jennifer Garner just gave birth, so I'm willing to cut her some slack. But that Michael Kors gown was truly unfortunate, giving her no support in the bust. Her breasts looked like they were in different area codes!”

So there you have it — just enough random knowledge to help you make it through a day of Oscar conversations. We're all about service journalism here at Wonkette!

Complete List of Oscar Winners [AP]
And This Year's Oscar Goes to… a Movie That Takes a Stand [NYT]
Earlier: The Oscars: Politics for Beautiful People

READ MORE: Jennifer Garner, academy awards, awards, brokeback mountain, crash, fashion, george clooney, hollywood, jon stewart, michael kors, movies, oscars, style

Remainders: Celebration Time

• Oscar parties are a big deal in L.A. and New York — but we're too cool for that in Washington. If you insist on watching that overlong spectacle, just stay at home and plan your own party. [Defamer; Gawker; WP]

• There are lots of other things to celebrate this weekend. You all get to keep your Blackberries — and it's that other guy who's going to jail. [WP]

• Bloomberg News's Washington bureau has much to be happy about. [Washingtonian]

• And so does the Washington Post. [FishBowlDC]

READ MORE: Media, academy awards, awards, bloomberg news, hollywood, movies, oscars, washington post

At the Movies with Mr. Tight Hole Operations

This Sunday night brings us Hollywood's big mutual masturbation festival, better known as the Academy Awards. In advance of Oscar night, conservative pundits are going through the motions of railing against clueless and/or evil Hollywood liberals. Ann Coulter has done it; and now it's time for Jeff Gannon to say his piece.

After the jump, our fisking — yes, with a “k” — of Gannon's column.

After observing that two of the five Best Picture nominees have gay themes, Gannon writes:

A substantial number of Americans, particularly in the heartland, perceive Hollywood to be a threat to cultural norms. Who can blame them? “Capote” is a film about one of the most flamboyant, effeminate homosexuals of the 20th century.”

Okay, so Jeff doesn't like 'em queeny. Got that?

Then Gannon turns to subjects that he knows a lot about: anal intercourse and “cross[ing] the line”:

But a movie about gay cowboys is the straw that “Broke-the-camel’s-back.” Making icons of American masculinity the central figures in a same-sex tryst, complete with on-screen anal intercourse, crosses the line.

So Gannon doesn't like them all “butched up” either. Geez, Jeff, stop being so finicky! “This porridge is too gay! This porridge is too straight! This porridge is… mmm, metrosexual.”

Okay, those are the best parts of the piece, and we've run out of one-liners. So we'll leave things at that.

You can read the rest of the article here. As you can see, Gannon's argument gets a bit muddled. He objects to Hollywood's in-your-face liberalism, although he doesn't seem to have much of a problem with the specific nominated films.

At the end of the day, we're a little confused about what exactly Jeff wants. But then again, maybe Jeff is too.

Brokeback's Albatross [Washington Blade]

Earlier: “Tight Hole Operations”: 10 Questions for Jeff Gannon
“Tight Hole Operations”: Jeff Gannon's Response
The Oscars: Politics for Beautiful People

READ MORE: academy awards, ass fucking, awards, brokeback mountain, gay, gay prostitutes, gays, hollywood, jeff gannon, liberals, movies, oscars

The Oscars: Politics for Beautiful People

Amidst all the buzz yesterday over the State of the Union address and the Alito confirmation, it was easy to forget: the Oscar nominations were announced! And while normally we might leave such a frivolous topic to our less high-minded siblings, this year we actually have a good excuse for mentioning such silliness.

As aptly put by the Post, “for the Oscars this year, politics comes with the popcorn.” The Times sounds the same theme: “Oscar nominations were divvied up on Tuesday among mainly small films with deep political and social themes, from gay romance to the abuse of government power to racial relations to the cycle of vengeance in the Middle East.”

Politics is frequently derided as “show business for ugly people”; but one can't help noticing how obsessed the beautiful people can get about it. Washington may envy Los Angeles's glamour; but L.A. craves D.C.'s respectability.

So this year there's no need to feel guilty about slinking off to watch that scandalous “gay cowboy” movie. You're merely doing research, looking ahead to the midterm elections, into public attitudes towards gay marriage.

“Brokeback” Riding High in Oscar Race [WP]
Small Films With Potent Themes Lead Oscar Nominations [NYT]
78th Annual Academy Awards - Nominee List [Oscar.com]

READ MORE: academy awards, awards, brokeback mountain, hollywood, movies, oscars