Hayden Hearing Livebloggin’: How Many Damn Senators Are On This Committee?

4:26 — Wyden: “This summer you were the public relations frontman for the warrantless wiretapping program, today you say you want to keep the CIA out of the news.”

BURN! Aww, Wyden’s so cute. Problem with overclassification, he says. “Alcoholic beverage preferences of some politicians gets classified.” Whoa, really? Whose? Kennedy’s a whiskey guy, we’re guessing Snowe likes a stiff gin and tonic.

They’re kicking Wyden off now. He is so gonna cry. Back to Levin? Oy.

4:18 — It’s the lightening round! Back to Levin! Five minutes! How ‘bout torture? How ‘bout FISA? How ‘bout “content”? “Content” means “everything between ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’” So terrorists can really trip them up by starting conversations with “Wuzzzuuuuuupppp” and finishing with “Catch you on the flip side.”

OH MY GOD WE CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO CONFIRM THE SONUVABITCH. He could reveal that he routinely dissects puppies for sexual pleasure and slept with the chairman’s wife, and Levin and Bayh would still be asking him how he thinks they should re-write FISA to do whatever the fuck they’re already doing.

Well, at least Levin brought up Scooter Libby for no reason. Our ears perked up, at least. Back to Wyden!

4:10 — Back to regular order! Back to Bond! Everyone only gets five minutes! But Linus Wyden was promised two more 20-minute questioning periods! Ha ha, Wyden, no one likes you!

4:02 — Hayden’s entire testimony: “You’re not afraid to call a ball a strike on the back of the inside plate when it’s the bottom of the 9th and you’re up by three runs and you hear the two-minute warning and your linebacker’s got a torn ACL and your kicker’s in the penalty box and the line judge gives you a yellow card and…”

READ MORE: Barbara Mikulski, CIA, hearings, michael hayden, nsa, saxby chamblis, senate, top

Gossip Roundup: Sexual Fallout

• Reliable Source: Federal judge accepts invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against Jessica Cutler; a former lover claims her blog caused “severe emotional distress, humiliation, embarassment and anguish”… Sen. Barbara Mikulski collects winnings from bet with Sen. Elizabeth Dole on women’s NCAA championship… Laurence Fishburne sighted at Cafe Milano. [WP]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Alec Baldwin would rather sleep with Sen. Dianne Feinstein than Ann Coulter: “With Coulter, we’d have sex and I’d have to jump out the window. I wouldn’t even get dressed.” Replies Coulter, “That’s the only reason I can think of for wanting to have sex with Alec Baldwin.”… Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame plan to leave town, but not before Cheney, Rove, and Libby do. [NYDN]
• Page Six: Oddsmaker puts Hillary’s chances in ‘08 at 3:1 and McCain’s at 6:1. [NYP]

READ MORE: 2008, Barbara Mikulski, Personalities, alec baldwin, ann coulter, dianne feinstein, dick cheney, elizabeth dole, hillary clinton, jessica cutler, joe wilson, john mccain, karl rove, laurence fishburne, ncaa, scooter libby, valerie plame, washingtonienne

The Middle Schooling of the Senate Intelligence Committee

As you may have heard in our Morning Roundup, the seven member subgroup of the Senate Intelligence Committee received their first White House briefing on the Bush’s domestic wiretapping nonsense. The Washington Post article on the briefing contained one section that immediately gave us a case of the WTFs.

Members of the Senate subcommittee — which, along with Roberts and Rockefeller, includes Republicans Mike DeWine (Ohio), Orrin G. Hatch (Utah) and Christopher S. Bond (Mo.) and Democrats Carl M. Levin (Mich.) and Dianne Feinstein (Calif.) — will not be able to share what they learn with the other eight members of the intelligence panel, according to rules the White House has proposed.

That is the foofiest fucking idea we’ve ever heard! How can a debate about intelligence priorities take place if the entire committee isn’t on an equal footing? Are the non-committee members going to have to sit in smaller chairs, too?

Here is how we imagine the future of the Senate Intelligence Committee:

[sorry, only super special Wonketteers can read after the jump]

READ MORE: Barbara Mikulski, Saxby Chambliss, carl levin, dianne feinstein, domestic wiretapping scandal, mike dewine, nsa, pat roberts, senate committee on intelligence, the painfully juvenile antics of your elected officials, trent lott