4:26 — Wyden: “This summer you were the public relations frontman for the warrantless wiretapping program, today you say you want to keep the CIA out of the news.”

BURN! Aww, Wyden’s so cute. Problem with overclassification, he says. “Alcoholic beverage preferences of some politicians gets classified.” Whoa, really? Whose? Kennedy’s a whiskey guy, we’re guessing Snowe likes a stiff gin and tonic.

They’re kicking Wyden off now. He is so gonna cry. Back to Levin? Oy.

4:18 — It’s the lightening round! Back to Levin! Five minutes! How ‘bout torture? How ‘bout FISA? How ‘bout “content”? “Content” means “everything between ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’” So terrorists can really trip them up by starting conversations with “Wuzzzuuuuuupppp” and finishing with “Catch you on the flip side.”

OH MY GOD WE CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO CONFIRM THE SONUVABITCH. He could reveal that he routinely dissects puppies for sexual pleasure and slept with the chairman’s wife, and Levin and Bayh would still be asking him how he thinks they should re-write FISA to do whatever the **** they’re already doing.

Well, at least Levin brought up Scooter Libby for no reason. Our ears perked up, at least. Back to Wyden!

4:10 — Back to regular order! Back to Bond! Everyone only gets five minutes! But Linus Wyden was promised two more 20-minute questioning periods! Ha ha, Wyden, no one likes you!

4:02 — Hayden’s entire testimony: “You’re not afraid to call a ball a strike on the back of the inside plate when it’s the bottom of the 9th and you’re up by three runs and you hear the two-minute warning and your linebacker’s got a torn ACL and your kicker’s in the penalty box and the line judge gives you a yellow card and…”

3:53 — “Hello, I’m Senator Bayh. Have you noticed my calm, smooth demeanor, and impressive chin? Aren’t I reasonable? How about my hair? Is it or is it not TV-ready? How about that wry look I have while I listen to you dodge by reasonable-but-tough question? It’s about as wry as a Senator can get, no? Allow me to ever-so-slightly trip you up with a calm, smooth question.”

3:40 — The only interesting part of Chambliss’ questioning was when Hayden said leakers would be round up and shot. Or something like that, we’re getting kinda tipsy.

Mikulski’s on now, and she reminds us of one of our grandma’s neighbor friends. She compliments Hayden on his solid, blue-collar background. JUST A STEEL-TOWN BOY ON A HEARING DAY.

We take it back, Mikulski is clearly our 6th grade teacher who NEVER LIKED US. She’s banging her shoe on the table and just said something like “I DON’T CARE IF PORTER GOSS WAS A NICE GUY, HE SUCKED.”

Mikulski’s trying to be all tough and hard-hitting but her tough, hard-hitting questions are things he already explicitly answered in the affirmative.

WTF? “The ga-ga factor” of the President? No **** that’s “not the most exact phrase!” It makes no sense! Oy, Mikulski. Do you know what hearing you’re even in? Colin Powell and the UN now?

• Reliable Source: Federal judge accepts invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against Jessica Cutler; a former lover claims her blog caused “severe emotional distress, humiliation, embarassment and anguish”… Sen. Barbara Mikulski collects winnings from bet with Sen. Elizabeth Dole on women’s NCAA championship… Laurence Fishburne sighted at Cafe Milano. [WP]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Alec Baldwin would rather sleep with Sen. Dianne Feinstein than Ann Coulter: “With Coulter, we’d have sex and I’d have to jump out the window. I wouldn’t even get dressed.” Replies Coulter, “That’s the only reason I can think of for wanting to have sex with Alec Baldwin.”… Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame plan to leave town, but not before Cheney, Rove, and Libby do. [NYDN]
• Page Six: Oddsmaker puts Hillary’s chances in ‘08 at 3:1 and McCain’s at 6:1. [NYP]

As you may have heard in our Morning Roundup, the seven member subgroup of the Senate Intelligence Committee received their first White House briefing on the Bush’s domestic wiretapping nonsense. The Washington Post article on the briefing contained one section that immediately gave us a case of the WTFs.

Members of the Senate subcommittee — which, along with Roberts and Rockefeller, includes Republicans Mike DeWine (Ohio), Orrin G. Hatch (Utah) and Christopher S. Bond (Mo.) and Democrats Carl M. Levin (Mich.) and Dianne Feinstein (Calif.) — will not be able to share what they learn with the other eight members of the intelligence panel, according to rules the White House has proposed.

That is the foofiest **** ing idea we’ve ever heard! How can a debate about intelligence priorities take place if the entire committee isn’t on an equal footing? Are the non-committee members going to have to sit in smaller chairs, too?

Here is how we imagine the future of the Senate Intelligence Committee:

[sorry, only super special Wonketteers can read after the jump]

Saxby Chambliss: Now, looking ahead. I have to say that I’m very concerned with what I’m hearing out of Oman.

Mike DeWine: [snickers]

Dianne Feinstein: Yeah…[laughing]…yeah. You WOULD be concerned.

Pat Roberts: Oooh, yeah, Saxby. Tell us all about—Haha!—allllll, HAHAHAHAHA! Oooh, oh boy.

Carl Levin: [airquoting] “OMAN,” I’m really worried!

[the members of the subcommittee all laugh]

Barbara Mikulski: Jesus. This must be what it’s like to know those **** s at The Note.

Trent Lott: Word.

Panel on Eavesdropping Is Briefed by White House [Washington Post]