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Wonkette, Politics for People with Dirty Minds


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Thursday04132006

CBS Demographic Shrinks Again

skeleton%20woman%20died%20in%20front%20of%20television.JPG

We played devil’s advocate with the tipster who sent this to us: “Perhaps Katie Couric — or her legs — can save CBS?”

To which our tipster replied: “Katie would have to do a Sharon Stone to get anyone to notice…”

‘Skeleton Woman’ Dead in Front of TV for Years [Telegraph UK]
Good Night and Good Luck [Cracked]

Earlier: Our Take on the Whole Katie Couric Deal

READ MORE: beavers, cbs, cbs evening news, cbs news, katie couric, old people, sharon stone

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Friday02242006

You Can Always Count on the Times To Ruin All the Fun

beaver or otter.JPG

Look, we don’t give a rat’s ass (or otter’s tail) about what the staid Gray Lady has decided to call this prehistoric creature. To us, it will forever be “the Jurassic beaver.”

Beaver or Otter, It Lived in Dinosaurs’ Time [NYT]

Earlier: There Has To Be a Joke In Here Somewhere
The Jurassic Beaver Is Closed for Business

READ MORE: Media, beavers, new york times

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Thursday02232006

The Jurassic Beaver Is Closed For Business

Our inbox has been flooded with hilarious responses to our request for “Jurassic beaver” jokes. We will review and consider all of the responses that we have already received; but due to overwhelming reader response, we will not be accepting further submissions at this time.

Thank you for your contributions!

READ MORE: beavers, self-writing jokes, wonkette comments

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Thursday02232006

There Has To Be a Joke In Here Somewhere

jurassic beaver.JPGBut it’s late in the blogging day, and we’re too tired to come up with one — so please make up your own punchline, and put it into the comments for this post. (Or send us a clever punchline by email, and we’ll send you some comment invites in return.)

Update: As explained here, we are no longer accepting new “Jurassic beaver” punchlines. But we thank you for your interest.

‘Jurassic Beaver’ Turns Theory on Its Tail [CNN]

READ MORE: beavers, old people, self-writing jokes, wonkette comments

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