Well, that was easy. We’ve had some really close calls here at Congressional Catfight, including one race that required a runoff. But this latest Catfight — a battle royal between five fighters, to determine who would take the wild card slot and face Katherine Harris — resulted in a decisive victory.

We threw five worthy contenders into the ring: Corrine Brown (D-FL), the “bat **** crazy” rep from the mean streets of Jacksonville’s North Side; Barbara Cubin (R-WY), the ex-cheerleader known for her “wack paranoia” and penis-shaped cookies; Tom Tancredo (R-CO), the immigration-obsessed nutjob; Bernie Sanders (I-VT), everyone’s favorite Vermont socialist; and Jean Schmidt (R-OH), the firearms-carrying, flag-jumpsuit-wearing, coward-calling congresswoman better known as “Mean Jean.”

The result? Jean Schmidt, in a landslide. “Mean Jean” received 60 percent of the vote — more votes than the other four competitors combined, and over three times as many as her nearest competitor, Tom Tancredo. Schmidt has scratched and clawed her way into the final round of Congressional Catfight. (For those of you who are curious, the full vote tally is available after the jump.)

Check back later today, when we’ll open the polls in Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Schmidt. We’re predicting a close and ugly battle between these two tough ladies of the House.

Earlier: Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot

Here are the complete poll results:

Last week, we solicited your nominations for a wild card contender, to take take on the winner of Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi (polls closing soon; to vote, click here). You submitted lots of excellent nominations, by email and by comment, and we winnowed the field to five contenders.

Here’s the poll:

You may already know which one of these folks you’d like to vote for. But if you’re undecided and in need of more information, excerpts from nomination squibs appear after the jump.

In support of Corrine Brown (D-FL):

Corrine’s been steaming since the 2000 election when more than 10,000 of her constituents’ votes weren’t counted because of… you guessed.. the Coug. Brown’s bat **** crazy and comes from the toughest side of Jax, the North Side. She’ll slap the snot out of Katy just for looking at her cross-ways.

This is just to nominate Rep. Corrine Brown (D-FL) as the Catfight Wild Card. Brown’s antics are detailed here.

Just think…. We could see a Harris v. Brown intra-delegation “cougar v. leopard-print”-fight, or a coast-to-coast Pelosi v. Brown intra-party brawl!

In support of Barbara Cubin (R-WY):

Barbara Cubin deserves a shot! This little ex-chearleader with her penis cookies, spanking theats, ranting about “bending over and taking it” from the Dems, Plus, she’s an ex-college cheerleader and JUST LOOK AT HER! She’d kill ‘em all!

Barbara Cubin does claim to be under attack “from every angle” by certain nameless democrats. She manages that elusive combination of perkiness and wack paranoia that made Jeanne Kirkpatrick such a danger babe in years gone by…(sigh).

In support of Tom Tancredo (R-CO):

How about Tom Tancredo? OK, he’s not female, but certainly crazy and bitchy.

You should have heard the interviews after someone found out he’s used illegal immigrant labor to make repairs to his house…

In support of Bernie Sanders (I-VT):

I grew up in Vermont and remember very clearly our high school visit to DC to meet our representatives in Congress…. [Bernie Sanders] met us in a conference room for a Q&A, and the moment he walked in the door he took off his jacket, loosened his tie (a slovenly amount), and rolled up his sleeves. I can’t remember if he purposefully mussed the hair, but I doubt it — I’ve never seen his head unmussed. He then proceeded to pace and rant and generally act like the Socialist he is.

I nominate Bernie. He’s not afraid to roll up the sleeves and let it get dirty. And I bet he’d show that Harris hussy a thing or two about crazy.

In support of Jean Schmidt (R-OH):

Obviously psychobitch Jean Schmidt for her smackdown of that coward Murtha.

I still can’t understand how you missed Jean “Murtha is a Coward” Schmidt in the original lineup of 8 catfighters. This is a woman who publicly made a fool of herself on the floor of the House, had declared that after the event she received marriage proposals (“They think I’m a hottie”), and has run some pretty mean-spirited political campaigns that would impress the hell out of Krazy Karl. Put her in the lineup…

It’s JEAN SCHMIDT (R, Ohio), she of the fantastic flag jump suit.

Recall [Jean’s] bitchy attempt on the House floor to take down BELOVED VETERAN John Murtha (D-Pa.) after his call for troop withdrawal from Iraq. Her nickname, according to this NYT profile, is “Mean Jean.” She’s also got the sassiest stars-and-stripes-bedecked wardrobe this side of the 1984 US Women’s Olympic Gymnastics team. Did I mention she appears to be a total idiot?

Im all about the Jean Schmidt. Though I would like to see her take John Murtha on in a fight of their own.

Jean Schmidt! She called a veteran a COWARD. She refused to apologize and instead did one of those, sorry if I was misunderstood things. She’s a huge bitch. Her nickname is Mean Jean. Mean Jean!

She wears patriotic jumpsuits. I’d call her a coward for never having served in the military, but I’m afraid of what she would do in response.

There are a number of reasons why Jean deserves this honor. We believe Wonkette readers are already familiar with the fact that she (1) has an evil twin, (2) was decapitated (via cake knife) by her political opponents, and (3) also made some remarks on the floor of the House that garnered, um, some attention, and a SNL parody. What other House frosh can claim that?

But we would be remiss if we didn’t profer some insider info. Namely, she packs. Heat. In her purse.

She revealed this to us at the Hamilton County Lincoln Reagan Dinner just a few months ago. She also showed us her firing range pose.

Earlier: Congressional Catfight: A Wild Card Spot

An ad running on Talking Points Memo:
Either some ad copywriter didn’t quite understand the reference he was making here, or Al knows something the people of Vermont don’t.

It does explain Representative Sanders’ sunglasses-and-baseball cap getup during the last couple roll call votes, as well as his hilarious waterskiing antics at the last Congressional retreat. And besides, if the Senate could pretend Thurmond was alive for 6 years, why can’t the House have a hilariously manipulated corpse on a couple committees?

We were told a couple minutes ago to turn on C-SPAN because McKinney was finally breaking her week-long media silence to SPEAK PUBLICLY about the incident, but as soon as we turned it on, there was an old guy from New Jersey babbling about productivity growth… so, we’re assuming we didn’t miss too much, but it’s just more proof that you never know when C-SPAN’s gonna be awesome for a minute.

Anyway, it was a bad night for Cynthia. Grand Jury convening, possible indictments (return of the damned “ham sandwich” line, no doubt), and more fall-out from her Soledad O’Brien interview (in McKinney’s defense — and only because Soledad O’Brien makes us want to punch through a wall — it is sorta reasonable to not answer specific questions about an incident you might be indicted over). Then there’s her fellow House Democrats…

Arriving on the floor yesterday afternoon for a series of votes, McKinney had earned pariah status. Several of her Democratic colleagues turned their backs or moved away when she approached, carrying her infamous cellphone and a bottle of Dasani water. Ignored by several colleagues, she stood alone in the back of the chamber for several minutes until rescued by Reps. Bernard Sanders (I-Vt.) and Maxine Waters (D-Calif.).

Oh, right into the open arms of Bernie Sanders. He does seem like a decent sort. We understand the whole “embarrassed” thing, but still — if Duke Cunningham walked into the House chambers right now, we’re pretty sure half of the Republican delegation would greet him with European kisses and boxes of chocolate. You punch one cop in this town…

All Eyes On the Hammer, Until the Hairdo Steps In [WP]
Sources: McKinney Case Heading to Grand Jury [CNN]

• Washington Whispers: George and Laura like their food to be organic… Ten Democrats are acting interested in ‘08… Sens. Frist and Brownback test lines for ‘08… Condoleezza Rice loves her job… Nixon’s political strategy revealed. [USN&WR]
• Rush & Molloy: Cindy Sheehan receives standing ovation from Ron Howard, Marisa Tomei, Sally Field, and others. [NYDN]
• Names & Faces: Rep. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) is briefly hospitalized after collapsing from influenza. [WP]

• Under the Dome: Bob Livingston: "I raised hell with [Gov. Blanco] for not declaring martial law. I told her last [Wednesday] night I was going on 'Hannity & Colmes' and criticize her for not doing that, and 20 minutes later, she did.". . . Rolling Stone shadowed Bernie Sanders for upcoming article. . . National Press Club will auction nude painting. . . Albert Eisele retires about 40 years in journalism. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove's Lowdown: Bernstein, in latest issue of Vanity Fair, recounts tension with Woodward and Downie over Felt revelation; shows Woodward as more interested in "commerce and hype than journalism.". . . Judi Giuliani is mum on her husband's '08 intentions. [NYDN]
• Inside the Beltway: "VIP party" for CNN's "The Situation Room" canceled due to Katrina. [WT]