To Do: The Special Interest Group Edition

• Party with the gay Hoyas — and meet the Boi From Troy, in the flesh. [Boi From Troy]

• Party with the Filipinos — food, folk dances, and fun. [WP; PAFC]

• Party with the Canadians — Vancouver rockers Pink Mountaintops, at Warehouse Next Door. [DCist]

• And don’t forget to bitch about the Metro. The track work is never-ending. [ReadExpress]

READ MORE: WMATA, boi from troy, filipinos, gay, gays, georgetown, music

Remainders: If It’s Not Nailed Down

• If anyone has hijacked Captain America for their own sordid purposes, it isn’t the right-wingers. Loads of muscles, skin-tight outfits… [Total Information Awareness]

• Allah Akbar! These warm glazed donuts are delicious! I almost feel bad we must use them to wage jihad on obese Americans. [BoiFromTroy]

• Kennedys love getting hammered, one way or another. [Brothers Judd]

• This is America! There are more choices than just “M” or “F”! Obviously, had there been a box for “Minions Doing Satan’s Work on Earth,” Ann would have checked it boldly. [PageOneQ]

READ MORE: ann coulter, boi from troy, cartoons, dubai, gay, gays, muslims, patrick kennedy, ted kennedy, uae

CPAC-ing Heat: Wonkette Gets Drunk With Right-Wingers

Last week, from Thursday, February 9, through Saturday, February 11, conservative political activists from around the country descended upon Washington for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). And the Wonkette Welcome Wagon was there to meet them!

Okay, we kinda missed all of the panels, speeches, and events. We didn’t get to hear Ann Coulter rail against “ragheads,” and we missed the mob-scene book signings by blogebrities Glenn Reynolds and Michelle Malkin. Nor did we attend the remarks of self-professed ex-gay Alan Chambers, who said sodomy was like fast food: “It will kill you.” Uh, not if you don’t swallow!

(Remember, boys and girls: as former President Clinton can tell you, the legal definition of sodomy encompasses a wide range of sexual acts. Black’s Law Dictionary defines sodomy as “oral or anal copulation between humans, or between humans and animals.” In other words, it’s not just assfucking!)

We don’t look that drunk, do we? (Photo by the Boi From Troy, blogging at our too-cool-for-school sibling.)

Sorry for that scholarly digression. Although we missed CPAC’s substantive presentations — if Ann Coulter mocking John Kerry as the other “dominant woman in American politics” qualifies as “substantive” — we did show up for the most important part: the drinking!

A chronicle of our misadventures, after the jump.

READ MORE: alan chambers, ann coulter, assfucking, black’s law dictionary, boi from troy, cam edwards, chris nolan, cpac, edelman, events, fast food, glenn reynolds, gridskipper, instapundit, instawife, john kerry, john tabin, michelle malkin, mike krempansky, party crash, redstate, ryan sager, sean hackbarth, sodomy, team party crash, tom bridge, top, wonkette

Kaine Pushed as Dem Poster Boy, Too Bad for Gays

As The Post reported this morning, the Virginia Senate has “all but guaranteed” the state will have a fall marriage referendum. DCist highlighted the beauty of adding a marriage ban in the state’s Bill of Rights, specifically following its provision discussing the essential nature of a “firm adherence to justice.”

What I noticed, though, was the statement of the governor’s spokesman. Per the Post article:

Virginia Gov. Timothy M. Kaine (D) does not have to review the amendment resolution. He could veto a separate bill that specifically calls for the November referendum, but press secretary Delacey Skinner said he will not do so. “The governor’s position is that a marriage is between one man and one woman,” Skinner said.

That’s annoying enough, but then I flip over to BoiFromTroy — one of the original Wonkette stand-ins — who reminded me that the Democrats have selected Kaine to give the response to the State of the Union.

Fab-u-lous. It’s time for a shot or four.

— Chris Geidner

Gay Marriage Ban Advances Toward Va. Referendum [The Washington Post]
Morning Roundup: Protecting Marriage in Virginia Edition [DCist]
Democrat SOTU Responder Opposes Gay Marriage [BoiFromTroy]

READ MORE: Democrats, boi from troy, marriage, sotu, tim kaine, virginia

In Which We Continue Ridiculing the “50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill”

We tried very hard to come up with a way to mock the “50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill” without singling any individuals, mostly because we don’t want anyone to get a book deal out of this. Of course, other people have no such hesitation. Thank God.

• Boi from Troy tosses aside “most beautiful” and goes for “faggiest.” Faggiest-seeming.

• DCeiver deconstructs/devestates the least comely of the comeliest. We, however, are huge fans of the “Towering Hat of Justice,” which — little known fact — actually came in at 51 on the list all on its own:

• We’re considering our own contest — everyone’s doing it — but beauty contests are so we’d-have-to-actually-read-the-mail.

Pie-eating contests, on the other hand… Especially that “Dan Aranyosi” fellow? Wonder if he likes pie…

READ MORE: beauty contests, boi from troy, dceiver, gayest-seeming, the hill