• Party with the gay Hoyas — and meet the Boi From Troy, in the flesh. [Boi From Troy]

• Party with the Filipinos — food, folk dances, and fun. [WP; PAFC]

• Party with the Canadians — Vancouver rockers Pink Mountaintops, at Warehouse Next Door. [DCist]

• And don’t forget to bitch about the Metro. The track work is never-ending. [ReadExpress]

• If anyone has hijacked Captain America for their own sordid purposes, it isn’t the right-wingers. Loads of muscles, skin-tight outfits… [Total Information Awareness]

• Allah Akbar! These warm glazed donuts are delicious! I almost feel bad we must use them to wage jihad on obese Americans. [BoiFromTroy]

• Kennedys love getting hammered, one way or another. [Brothers Judd]

• This is America! There are more choices than just “M” or “F”! Obviously, had there been a box for “Minions Doing Satan’s Work on Earth,” Ann would have checked it boldly. [PageOneQ]

Last week, from Thursday, February 9, through Saturday, February 11, conservative political activists from around the country descended upon Washington for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). And the Wonkette Welcome Wagon was there to meet them!

Okay, we kinda missed all of the panels, speeches, and events. We didn’t get to hear Ann Coulter rail against “ragheads,” and we missed the mob-scene book signings by blogebrities Glenn Reynolds and Michelle Malkin. Nor did we attend the remarks of self-professed ex-gay Alan Chambers, who said sodomy was like fast food: “It will kill you.” Uh, not if you don’t swallow!

(Remember, boys and girls: as former President Clinton can tell you, the legal definition of sodomy encompasses a wide range of sexual acts. Black’s Law Dictionary defines sodomy as “oral or anal copulation between humans, or between humans and animals.” In other words, it’s not just ass **** ing!)

We don’t look that drunk, do we? (Photo by the Boi From Troy, blogging at our too-cool-for-school sibling.)

Sorry for that scholarly digression. Although we missed CPAC’s substantive presentations — if Ann Coulter mocking John Kerry as the other “dominant woman in American politics” qualifies as “substantive” — we did show up for the most important part: the drinking!

A chronicle of our misadventures, after the jump.

At the Friday night CPAC cocktail party, we mingled with a pantheon of conservative bloggers, writers, and pundits. The distinguished group included, but was not limited to, the following (if we omitted you, we apologize; we probably lost your business card in our inebriation): Robert B. Bluey; Tom Bridge; Cam Edwards; Sean Hackbarth; Mary Katharine Ham; Mike Krempasky, a VP at public relations powerhouse Edelman, who also blogs at Redstate; Little Miss Attila; Marshall Manson, also of Edelman, who blogs at On Tap; Chris Nolan; Ryan Sager; John Tabin; and the Boi from Troy himself, who also blogs at our urbane and sophisticated sibling.

A delightful time was had by all. The conversation flowed as freely as the liquor (open bar!). The topics discussed? All the usual staples of blogospheric blather: the blogging scandal du jour, how to land a book deal, and the unbearable hotness of the InstaWife.

After getting mildly buzzed, Wonkette headed off with the Boi From Troy, for dinner and, yes, more drinking. To learn what happened next — with scandalous photos! — you’ll have to skip the grid.

Team Party Crash: The Night I Kissed Wonkette [Gridskipper]
CPAC 2006 Convention [CPAC]
Right-Wing Party Animals [Salon]

As The Post reported this morning, the Virginia Senate has “all but guaranteed” the state will have a fall marriage referendum. DCist highlighted the beauty of adding a marriage ban in the state’s Bill of Rights, specifically following its provision discussing the essential nature of a “firm adherence to justice.”

What I noticed, though, was the statement of the governor’s spokesman. Per the Post article:

Virginia Gov. Timothy M. Kaine (D) does not have to review the amendment resolution. He could veto a separate bill that specifically calls for the November referendum, but press secretary Delacey Skinner said he will not do so. “The governor’s position is that a marriage is between one man and one woman,” Skinner said.

That’s annoying enough, but then I flip over to BoiFromTroy — one of the original Wonkette stand-ins — who reminded me that the Democrats have selected Kaine to give the response to the State of the Union.

Fab-u-lous. It’s time for a shot or four.

— Chris Geidner

Gay Marriage Ban Advances Toward Va. Referendum [The Washington Post]
Morning Roundup: Protecting Marriage in Virginia Edition [DCist]
Democrat SOTU Responder Opposes Gay Marriage [BoiFromTroy]

We tried very hard to come up with a way to mock the "50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill" without singling any individuals, mostly because we don't want anyone to get a book deal out of this. Of course, other people have no such hesitation. Thank God.

• Boi from Troy tosses aside "most beautiful" and goes for "faggiest." Faggiest-seeming.

• DCeiver deconstructs/devestates the least comely of the comeliest. We, however, are huge fans of the "Towering Hat of Justice," which -- little known fact -- actually came in at 51 on the list all on its own:

• We're considering our own contest -- everyone's doing it -- but beauty contests are so we'd-have-to-actually-read-the-mail.

Pie-eating contests, on the other hand... Especially that "Dan Aranyosi" fellow? Wonder if he likes pie...