Welcome to the OKC, Bitch

Oh, those crazy, crazy Oklahoma City nights.

The top aide in Oklahoma to Senator Jim Inhofe is hospitalized in fair condition after apparently being beaten, police said.

John Collison, 32, of Edmond has fractures to his face, pelvis, ribs and wrist plus an injured to his jaw and a liver contusion, according to Sgt. Paco Balderrama.

Paramedics found Collison about 4 a.m. Sunday lying on a loading dock outside Bricktown Ballpark in downtown Oklahoma City.

At the hospital, Collison told police he couldn’t remember anything that happened after 10:30 p.m. Saturday — not even being attacked.

If you name your nightlife district “Bricktown,” you’re just asking for shit like this to happen.

The AP says Collison wasn’t robbed, so we must assume that an enraged constituent is to blame. It happens to congressional aides across the country every day. You’re walking out of the ballpark when a gentleman of voting age asks you a pointed question about your boss’ rider on the transportation omnibus bill, next thing you know, the debate’s turned ugly and some guy’s hurled the neighborhood’s titular “brick” at your head while shouting himself hoarse about the Alternative Minimum Tax.

Inhofe’s top aide beaten, hospitalized [News-Star]

READ MORE: Oklahoma, bricks, congressional aides, crime, jim inhofe, oklahoma city, senate, staffers, violence

Daily Briefing: The Bird Man

• Bush nominates Henry Paulson, chairman of Goldman Sachs Group, to replace John Snow at the Treasury Department; White House sought Paulson for months. [WP, W$J, USAT, LAT]
• White House acknowledges that Bush withheld the news at his press conference last week; Paulson’s net worth is estimated to be more than $700M. [NYT, NYT]
• Paulson is described as “the kind of guy who thrives in a crisis” and “a committed environmentalist and bird watcher.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Justice Department claims Rep. William Jefferson (D-La.) tried to hide documents from the FBI. [WP, LAT]
• Former chief of staff to Rep. Bob Ney (R-Ohio) testifies that Abramoff “identified his ‘champions’ in government and then showered them with favors to get inside information and help for his clients.” [WP, NYT]
• Democrats are slow to provide a specific party platform; “this cautious strategy is generating intensifying debate within the party.” [LAT]

READ MORE: 2006, 2008, Democrats, Republicans, Robert Mueller, SCOTUS, White House, alberto gonzales, bob ney, bricks, daily briefing, fbi, george w. bush, harold ford jr, henry paulson, immigration, jack abramoff, james sensenbrenner, john snow, veterans affairs, william jefferson

We Don’t Think the Immigration Bill Failed For Lack of “Bricks,” but If It Keeps You Off the Streets…

Every day we get, oh, 500 chain emails warning us that illegal immigrants are going to steal our jobs, abscond with our wives, and force us to eat salsa (salsa is a common thread in all of them — why is salsa so threatening? We like salsa!). Today, someone pointed us towards this charming website, which invites concerned xenophobes citizens to throw mail a “brick” to congress, as encouragement (of the mafioso variety, though maybe that’s just our film-saturated imagination talking) to build a wall (a literal one, it seems like). We know the line’s been used a million times, but even with all the bricks provided gratis, we think the type of people who populate the Capitol would probably need a couple day laborers of ambiguous legality to actually stack ‘em up.

Still, though, we are always in favor of mailing goofy shit to Congress. So while we think the cause is ridiculous, we got a “brick” and mailed it to our representative as soon as we could. And we already got our response!

Send A Brick
Earlier: We Love Jo Ann Emerson

READ MORE: activism, bricks, immigration, jo ann emerson, mailing shit to congress