CPAC-ing Heat: Wonkette Gets Drunk With Right-Wingers

Last week, from Thursday, February 9, through Saturday, February 11, conservative political activists from around the country descended upon Washington for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). And the Wonkette Welcome Wagon was there to meet them!

Okay, we kinda missed all of the panels, speeches, and events. We didn’t get to hear Ann Coulter rail against “ragheads,” and we missed the mob-scene book signings by blogebrities Glenn Reynolds and Michelle Malkin. Nor did we attend the remarks of self-professed ex-gay Alan Chambers, who said sodomy was like fast food: “It will kill you.” Uh, not if you don’t swallow!

(Remember, boys and girls: as former President Clinton can tell you, the legal definition of sodomy encompasses a wide range of sexual acts. Black’s Law Dictionary defines sodomy as “oral or anal copulation between humans, or between humans and animals.” In other words, it’s not just assfucking!)

We don’t look that drunk, do we? (Photo by the Boi From Troy, blogging at our too-cool-for-school sibling.)

Sorry for that scholarly digression. Although we missed CPAC’s substantive presentations — if Ann Coulter mocking John Kerry as the other “dominant woman in American politics” qualifies as “substantive” — we did show up for the most important part: the drinking!

A chronicle of our misadventures, after the jump.

At the Friday night CPAC cocktail party, we mingled with a pantheon of conservative bloggers, writers, and pundits. The distinguished group included, but was not limited to, the following (if we omitted you, we apologize; we probably lost your business card in our inebriation): Robert B. Bluey; Tom Bridge; Cam Edwards; Sean Hackbarth; Mary Katharine Ham; Mike Krempasky, a VP at public relations powerhouse Edelman, who also blogs at Redstate; Little Miss Attila; Marshall Manson, also of Edelman, who blogs at On Tap; Chris Nolan; Ryan Sager; John Tabin; and the Boi from Troy himself, who also blogs at our urbane and sophisticated sibling.

A delightful time was had by all. The conversation flowed as freely as the liquor (open bar!). The topics discussed? All the usual staples of blogospheric blather: the blogging scandal du jour, how to land a book deal, and the unbearable hotness of the InstaWife.

After getting mildly buzzed, Wonkette headed off with the Boi From Troy, for dinner and, yes, more drinking. To learn what happened next — with scandalous photos! — you’ll have to skip the grid.

Team Party Crash: The Night I Kissed Wonkette [Gridskipper]
CPAC 2006 Convention [CPAC]
Right-Wing Party Animals [Salon]

READ MORE: alan chambers, ann coulter, assfucking, black’s law dictionary, boi from troy, cam edwards, chris nolan, cpac, edelman, events, fast food, glenn reynolds, gridskipper, instapundit, instawife, john kerry, john tabin, michelle malkin, mike krempansky, party crash, redstate, ryan sager, sean hackbarth, sodomy, team party crash, tom bridge, top, wonkette