Candice Miller: Everything That’s Right With Democracy

Oh fer chrissakes.

“This could be easy,” said Rep. Candice S. Miller (R-Mich.), who proudly announced she has neither a law degree nor a college degree as she denounced the high court’s 5 to 3 decision against the tribunals as “incredibly counterintuitive.” “We could just ratify what the executive branch and the [Department of Defense] have done and move on.”

NOT EVEN WE ARE THIS LAZY.

Representative Miller, we think you’re on the right track. Considering how demanding your job is, we’d be more than happy to fill in. We’ve prepared a couple statements to read on your behalf. Allow us to summarize the main points:

• “We could just tape down the ‘yes’ buttons and go home, right?”
• “We could just get those glasses with the eyes painted on and take a little nap.”
• “Oh, can we tag the executive branch and say ‘you’re it!’ and make them write all the legislation?”
• “Let’s just copy last year’s congressional record and paste it into this year’s. Then — PIZZA PARTY!”

Battle Looms in Congress Over Military Tribunals [WP]

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