Wonkette - courtland milloy

Category: courtland milloy

DEC

2005

The Post's Sticks in the Mud

Deadstick First, the good news: Pandacam has returned. Right now, Butterstick is sleeping. Oooh! He just rolled over.... Now his legs are twitching! Aww... He's a little ball of fur. Awwwwwww....

Sorry, sort of got caught up in the moment there. In any case, the bad news is that no soon has the Stick been returned to us than we discover a passel of Posties who want to take him away... permanently. In response to a sense that there was too much Stick coverage (too much!?!), WaPo metro scribe Courtland Milloy wrote on the paper's internal message board:

I suggest publishing for six consecutive days, starting on a Monday, an 11 x 14 color photo of the panda on the front page with someone holding a .357 magnum to his head (Keith? Tamara? Michael? Me?) and a caption that reads: "If you don't buy this newspaper, the bear gets it and gets it good." Even as street sales skyrocket, we pretend not to notice and run another photo Sunday of a blob shape chalk line on a zoo walk path above the cutline: "And on the seventh day Ty Shawn rested."

HORROR. What will they say to the soldiers in Iraq who look to the Stick as a symbol of all that is right and good in the world? What will they say to the children? MONSTERS.

Besides, it's not like the National Zoo needs help killing animals, anyway.

Sticking It To Butterstick [FishbowlDC]
Speak Softly But Carry a Big Stick [Buttershtick]
National Zoo Probes Animal Deaths [CBS]

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