Culture War - Wonkette

remainders

Remainders: If You Heard It On The Internet, Then It Has To Be True

Ned Lamont not dissimilar from another famous Lamont, have more than just selling junk in common. [Hot Johnny]
Congressman Ralph Hall “loves bush” wants to “pull down his britches” and show him how much. [Pink Dome]
Blair and Bush: one is working hard, the other’s hardly working. [ThinkProgress]
Americans go AWOL in culture war. [The Carpetbagger Report]
Deserters to form own Army whose central tenet is unwavering belief in all internet conspiracy theories. [Shakespeare’s Sister]
A double barreled shotgun: when you absolutely must shoot every motherfucker in the room, in the face. [Andrew Sullivan]
ExxonMobil uses loser who lives in his parent’s basement as cover for their An Inconvenient Truth parody. [The Raw Story]

6:53 PM on Fri Aug 4 2006
By Pareene
75 views, 8 comments

Latest by Turd Blossom: Yeah, ignore all the evidence and there's no evidence. Douche. more »

jean schmidt

Jean Schmidt's Evil Twin Wants to Give You $500

As a public service to our readers in Ohio, if your funds are a little low at the moment, you might want to lend a hand to Jennifer Black, better known as Congressthing Jean Schmidt’s evil twin. And it’s easy! All you have to do is find those meanies who keep defacing and/or destroying the pro-life signs on the grounds of the no-doubt ultraswanky Schmidt family farm. Heck, that doesn’t sound very hard: a couple of nights hiding in a field with a shotgun for five franklins? It’s like shooting cultural warrior fish in a barrel. And the opportunity to stand that close to Jean Schmidt’s shared gene pool? Heck, we’d do that for free. More »

1:31 PM on Fri Jul 7 2006
By phuestis
130 views, 1 comment

Latest by Destardi: wait...there are TWO of those things? Godd*amn ohio, what did we ever do to you? more »

metro

Metro Section: It's The Grit That Makes It Good

The mumbled threats and nonsensical ramblings of crackhead love. [vividblurry]

We’ll take “Shithole American cities” for $300, Alex. [Rebuilding Place in the Urban Space]

A walking stereotype is one thing, but a walking stereotype from the “Good Times” era is entirely another. [Soulful of Thoughts]

Well, fanny pack wearing tourists hate your square-toed shoes and shiny shirts, so there. [The Eternal Freshman]

“Yes Mr. Ambassador, I am normally this bloated, thank you.” [EJ Takes Life]

Kelly Ann Collins’s editorial assistant gets some love from Au Bon Pain. [Consumerist]

12:13 AM on Sat Jun 10 2006
By dlat
104 views, Comment

sex toys

Don't They Have Anything Better To Do in South Carolina?

Intentionally or not, the AP article is full of double entendres. Here’s a quote from sex shop employee Wanda Gillespie (parentheses courtesy of the AP): More »

5:14 PM on Mon Apr 24 2006
By dlat
1,988 views, 10 comments

white house

Daily Briefing: 'The Real Wedge'

White House shake-up is directed at the midterm elections; Bolten is following a five-point plan that includes an “extremely visible enforcement crackdown at the Mexican border.” Bush advisor: “If we don’t keep Congress, there won’t be a legacy.” [Time]
Osama Bin Laden releases new audio tape; analyst says intention is to provide a global posture for al Qaeda: “Bin Laden is a master craftsman at recognizing issues and knowing how to exploit these issues for his own purposes. He’s trying to enlarge the global conflict and is trying to incite and anger the Muslim world against the West.” [WP]
Eight American troops have been killed over the past two days in Iraq; April will likely be the deadliest month this year. [AP]
West Wing is said to feel “really weird right now” because “people are worried about their jobs,” says a senior official; aides “are on edge.” Mark McKinnon: “Karl has more bandwidth than anyone on the planet, but with the elections coming up, we have to make sure he has the time to concentrate on the big message.” Nicole Wallace on Bolten: “It was nice to cut right to the chase. He set a very honest and direct tone. It was kind of, ‘We’re going to get through all this together, and we need to step it up.’” [Newsweek, NYT]
White turnout in the New Orleans mayoral election was double the norm; Lt. Gov. Mitch Landrieu could be the city’s first white mayor in nearly three decades. [NYT, WP]
CIA is cracking down on leaks by subjecting dozens of employees to polygraph tests; top Democrats suggest a double standard exists about leaking for political purposes. [NYT, WP]
Los Angeles Times editorial board calls for Bush to boot Cheney: “Having changed his tune, the president should also think about changing the company he keeps — big time, as Dick Cheney would say.” [LAT]

More »

8:05 AM on Mon Apr 24 2006
By henry
66 views, 4 comments

Latest by original cyn: Whether the Republicans keep Congress or not, there'll be a legacy alright: the national debt. more »

culture war

Where's the Outrage?

At last, World magazine gets to the root of the problem :

They're actually characterizing the opposition's view, but we think there's a certain amount of projection involved... More »

8:23 PM on Mon Nov 14 2005
By wonkette
36 views, Comment

butterstick

Panda-Matrimonium!

Many thanks to Thailand for being the first country to take steps against the epidemic of out-of-wedlock panda births. The Thai zoo's two pandas are presumed to start mating soon, "But the zoo wanted them to be married first." Of course. Single-panda motherhood is well known to be the root cause of rising panda unemployment and high crime rates in panda neighborhoods. Did you know that in America, there are more pandas in zoos than in college? Look at what's going on with our own poor bastard Butterstick: Has a deadbeat dad living off the state and he's an immigrant whose been here for ten years and he still doesn't speak English. Without a traditional family, a young panda will look elsewhere for their role models, and, you know, recruiting Butterstick is probably right at the top of the gay penguin agenda. More »

2:58 PM on Thu Nov 10 2005
By wonkette
121 views, Comment

culture war

TV Sex Rated

The Kaiser Family Foundation has just released a study on depictions and references to sex in television; they show that "70% of shows had some sexual content, averaging 5 sex scenes per hour." Jesus. No wonder my Tivo thinks I'm gay. You know, comparatively. But hold on: "The study counts as a sex scene talking about it, kissing and fondling, and intercourse when those are the emphasis of a scene." Well, if you count talking about it... I should be making a lot more money. More »

4:54 PM on Wed Nov 9 2005
By wonkette
841 views, Comment

washington post

Equal Work for Equal Pay

The Washington Post reports today:

Slightly more than half of American teenagers ages 15 to 19 have engaged in oral sex, with females and males reporting similar levels of experience, according to the most comprehensive national survey of sexual behaviors ever released by the federal government.

Maybe a woman can be president after all! More »

12:25 PM on Fri Sep 16 2005
By wonkette
69 views

supposedly gay penquins

CPAC of the South

Today, the New York Times investigates the Christian conservatives' fifth column: Penguins. Turns out conservatives have become unlikely champions of the documentary "March of the Penguins," saying, among other things, that the film promotes monogamy and family values. Clearly, no one has told them about the gay penguins (of course, they choose to be gay). Says one minister:

"Some of the circumstances they experienced seemed to parallel those of Christians," he said of the penguins. "The penguin is falling behind, is like some Christians falling behind. The path changes every year, yet they find their way, is like the Holy Spirit."

It seems like a stretch but, hey, it's an improvement over talking vegetables. More »

3:22 PM on Tue Sep 13 2005
By wonkette
30 views

john g. roberts

Roberts Faces Nelly Opposition

Last week, four gay rights groups came out against John Roberts' nomination to the Supreme Court. Our first thought: Aunt Toms. Our second thought? Hey, look, they have a point, and they're not even being all gay about it. Human Rights Campaign president Joe Solmonese told the WP: "Judge Roberts has such a narrow view of what the courts can and should do, it's a wonder he wants the job at all." Snap! Such criticism is probably the most substantative reason a liberal group has given for opposing Roberts. Certainly it's better than "He drives anti-abortion bombers to the clinics" or whatever it was that NARAL said. More »

3:15 PM on Mon Aug 29 2005
By wonkette
125 views

democrats

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Bureaucrats

How do you tell a Democrat from a Republican? It's easy, says Tim Goeglin, deputy chief of staff to Karl Rove: Ask what they want their children to be when they grow up. Republicans, Goeglin told the WaPo, "think of medicine, we think of law, we think of business." And Democrats? Goeglin mocks: "[G]ee, I hope my son grows up to be a great playwright or painter or poet." Seeing as how he based this observation on the dinner party conversation of 12 people, Goeglin's own background clearly isn't scientific. And why is Goeglin strategizing at all? Rove gets his first born, anyway. More »

10:47 AM on Thu Aug 11 2005
By wonkette
95 views

iran

Daily Briefing: 'The Art of Spending Time in Crawford'

• White House, worried about surprises, delays release of tens of thousands of documents related to Roberts. [WP]
• 9/11 commission members seek answers after revelation that some hijackers were under surveillance. Lehman: "I think this is a big deal. The issue is whether there was in fact surveillance before 9/11 of Atta and, if so, why weren't we told about it? Who made the decision not to brief the commission's staff or the commissioners?" [NYT]
• Bush uses dead of August to gain ground. Strategist: "They've really perfected the art of spending time in Crawford. They do a good job of driving the agenda every day they're down there. They push the story and keep the people in the other party out of the news." [WSJ]
• Recent speech by Roberts offers indication of his political orientation. [LAT]
• Roberts is quizzed by Wyden about end-of-life care. Wyden: "His answer was, 'I am concerned with judicial independence. Congress can prescribe standards, but when Congress starts to act like a court and prescribe particular remedies in particular cases, Congress has overstepped its bounds.'" [NYT] More »

8:43 AM on Wed Aug 10 2005
By henry
31 views

george w. bush

Bush's Designs on School Curriculum

Bush endorsed the teaching of "intelligent design" in schools yesterday, adding that "we shouldn't leave interior decorating to the gays." Kidding, mostly. "Intelligent design" actually refers to the argument that "life forms are so complex that their creation can't be explained by Darwinian evolutionary theory alone, but rather points to intentional creation, presumably divine." Teaching it as "alternative" to evolution is a little like teaching "magic" as an alternative to physics, which at least would at least explain the president's belief in the missile defense program. More »

11:56 AM on Tue Aug 2 2005
By wonkette
218 views

instant opinions

Wonkette's Instant Opinions You Should Have Now

Coming up with your own opinions is hard. We've come up with some for you. More »

bill frist

Frist First Out of the Running

Sure, folks with Parkinsons might be cured someday, but the people happiest with Bill Frist's reversal on stem cell research are those who are as of this morning no longer running against him in the Republican primary. We're happy about it, too, even if it has us doubting his pedigree. Come on: Flip-flop? Pedantic assurance he knows better than us? Earnest moralizing? Shouldn't he be a Democrat? More »

4:53 PM on Fri Jul 29 2005
By wonkette
28 views