An Intern’s Guide to Humping and Fishing, Part Two

Someone was generous enough to go beyond our paltry musings on the group left out of the Craigslist guide to potential paramours. They warn simply, “Journalists: Avoid at all costs.” They talk a good game, it seems, “But in reality all are tightwads, fundamentally dishonest, and can use a supposedly grueling work schedule to avoid you for nights at a time while they are boinking other women.” You also get “f*cked” twice, which sounds like a good deal but clearly isn’t.

For those so desperate they ignore this warning, we offer (again) a brief taxonomy:

Wire reporters: Do it very fast, but at least five times a day.

Political magazine reporters: Bend to the right or left.

Newsmagazine types: Come too late, have sex on a seventh grade level.

Cable correspondents: Desperate for viewers.

Newspaper reporters: Drop their load right away; few, if any, actually bury the lead.

Talking heads: Lips never stop moving.

Network anchors: Biggest pricks in town.

— WONKETTE

Addendum: A guide for interns — you’re welcome [Craigslist]

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