Interior Department Spends Entire Budget on Magic Beans

Need to teach tolerance at your workplace? Try Diversity Beans! What the hell are those, you ask? We’ll let Jelly the Pan-African Bean explain:
What kind of horrible corporate hell of a workplace would order a bunch of gelatinous orbs to impart an idiotic lesson in dimestore multiculturalism? Why, your Department of the Interior, of course, who (according to an adamantly intolerant source close to a DoI employee) will soon be foisting the Diversity Bean upon employees at your expense ($6/lb of beans, $10/lesson plan, $17.50/candy jar, etc.).

We just hope they sample the “looks like a national wildlife refuge, tastes like three weeks’ worth of crude oil” bean.

(Bonus alternate joke: the “looks like a real marriage” bean.)

Diversity Beans

READ MORE: anwr, candy, department of the interior, dirk kempthorne, diversity

Remainders: Animals ‘n Stuff

• Given how badly it treats the bison, the Interior Department should pick a new symbol. We suggest Halliburton. [PEER]

• This poor dog needs an exorcism. [RedState]

• John Mellencamp could use a civics lesson, a geography lesson, or both. [The Courier & Press]

• Kim Eisler isn’t alone — Jack Abramoff finds supporters in the strangest places. [Hockey Dirt via Deadspin]

• J.D. Lifschitz: the best political interviewer of his generation? [The Politicker]

• This is strangely hypnotic to watch. Then drag Bush around with your mouse — you know you want to! [planetdan.net]

READ MORE: Remainders, White House, abramoff, bison, department of the interior, dogs, jack abramoff, john mellencamp

Dirk Kempthorne: Party’s At His Place

Remember Dirk Kempthore? The new guy at the Department of the Interior? Oh, you know, the one with the sham marriage and long-time mistress (Yeah, we know we misidentified Kempthorne in that picture — we’ll fix it later). Right, that one. Yeah, he’ll be livin’ it up bachelor-stylee once he hits the District:

If Governor Kempthorne is confirmed, he would vacate the governor’s office, promoting Risch to the state’s top job.

Patricia Kempthorne has said that she will not follow her husband to Washington, D.C. if he’s confirmed.

Course, she claims to be staying behind so that she can become Lt. Governor (is it really that easy out there? Like, if we made friends with Brian Schweitzer could we just be declared Lt. Governor of Montana if we asked really nice? What’s that gig pay? Does their website actually work?), but, uh, we know better, don’t we?

First Lady Considering Lt. Governor Position [KPVI]
Earlier: Open Secrets Watch: The New Guy At Interior

READ MORE: cabinet members, department of the interior, dirk kempthorne, governors, idaho, open secrets, scandal, sex

Open Secrets Watch: The New Guy At Interior

Here is a picture of the President with people who have names like “Dirk” and “Butch Otter” and “Spuddy Buddy.”

Whoda thunk the Department of the Interior would be a hotbed of scandal? And not that lame, hard-to-follow “corruption” and “bribery” kind of scandal, but honest-to-god sex ‘n’ stuff!

Turns out, this new Dirk Kempthorne has:
* Illegitmate son
* Longtime mistress/aide
* Sham marriage

Hey! Not bad! We’re suddenly way excited about the Department of the Interior — has anyone bothered to point out how educational these sorts of things can be? We might even go find out what the Interior Secretary does

So, does Kempthorne’s mistress and 2nd family go, too? [Idaho’s Democrats (they have those? —ed)]

READ MORE: butch otter, cabinet members, department of the interior, dirk kempthorne, idaho, mistresses, scandal, sex, spuddy buddy